Before the Selfie, there was Mirror Face. For the uninitiated, you are definitely initiated. There is no such thing as immunity when considering the aforementioned. Next time you look into a reflective surface, consider the nuances that distinguish your face when you’re aware you’re looking at it vs. those when you’re not. In the former setting, you might notice that you’re creating the illusion of higher cheek bones. Maybe you’re sucking in those cheeks. Maybe you’re widening your eye lids. Your head might be tilted to the left or angling toward the right. You’re pursing your lips.
The varying facial expressions we conjure when looking in the mirror are benign enough — but they’ve also incited a new age, slightly more malignant and steroid-taking appropriation called The Selfie. The fundamental difference is that this expression does not exist just for personal appeasement. This face gets photographed and then sent into the wild where it is forced to live interminably until WiFi does it part.
The most famous of its interpretations is referred to as “duck face.” This is that thing when you pucker your lips, flare your nostrils and allow for the sides of your mouth to drop thus rendering you a modern Joker or, you know, duck. Made famous by celebrities, this facial expression tends to extort a violent urgency to punch the performer in the (duck) face. Fortunately or unfortunately, the face has spread and in the dissemination process, several new progenies have been birthed. There now exist The Miley (tongue out), The Pop Eye (a wink) and The Katie Holmes (side smile) to name a few.
These expressions, too, have produced sub-progeny that fall into genres. I like to combine the Pop Eye and the Katie Holmes to create what I call: Undateable But Bethrothed.
Other times, I do this:
It’s self-deprecating. So are Charlotte’s approximations. She emulates Blackberry emojis fairly frequently. She also throws up what she calls gang signs even though they’re mostly peace signs which seem counter-intuitive when considering gangs.
Amelia opens her eyes really wide and sucks in cheeks which kind of makes her look even more like a cat’s ass than she usually does. Some girls half smile and half stick out theirs tongue and then snap the memory to freeze it which to me says “look! I can be goofy but I’m still suuuuuuper cute!” It’s not quite self-deprecating but it’s not good either. Others remain stoic and earnest, putting on display their brazen beauty for onlookers to vomit.
So, what’s your selfie face?