Thongs: What’s Up With That?

I felt like stabbing myself in the ear on Monday when I walked into an Italian lingerie shop with my mother who could use some new “g-strings.” What she meant was new ass-less underwear, which I was only able to conceive of as underwear sans ass (isn’t that what they are?) because in trying to skirt the issue at hand that a) my mom wears thongs and b) she thinks they’re g-strings, I needed to define the racy garment otherwise.

I know the terms are used fairly interchangeably but come on! G-string? I also know this sounds incredibly immature. My mother is as much a woman as any other, one who can make articulated decisions when it comes to her undergarments that have no place being questioned.

Furthermore, if you’ve dabbled into that dumb book I once wrote you’re aware that she and I have had to share a thong one time in the past. I won’t say more than that lest you dabble more comprehensively, but my ultimate point is this: thongs (both “regular” and g-string) are ass-less underwear. What’s up with that?

Or more accurately, who’s sincerely down for that?

There is obviously a large enough legion of supporters and wearers who keep the business of butt-floss afloat, but for every woman like my own creator looking for g-strings, I like to think there is also at least one woman like myself wondering why any female would voluntarily subject herself to wearing such paltry underpinnings.

Sure, sometimes, like in the case of tight pants or a skimpy dress, they are necessary. But then again, the metric by which I often gauge whether I should or should not wear something reflects the idea that if you can’t wear a full cover over your toilet seat, you probably shouldn’t wear the cover to begin with. (Though Amelia vehemently defends the thong for its ability to eliminate the illusion that she has four butt cheeks instead of the preferred two. She claims full underwear causes the former.)

Some additional defense independent of aesthetics includes not having to worry about your state of wedgie (because, you know, in a thong, you’re constantly immersed) and blissfully feeling like you’re not wearing any underwear at all. “Like you’re free,” I’ve been told. Where I get stuck is in how paradoxical the freedom is.

Can free people feel profoundly vulnerable? Because when I wear thongs, I do, which I can only trace back to my not wanting to appease the male gaze with my bare ass out, comfort level in.

So maybe that changes the scope of my question to pertain not to why women wear thongs but rather, what kind of women fall into the two divisive groups?

That can only be determined if you participate, though, so, get talking, eh?


Image shot by Helmut Newton

  • Amelia Diamond

    I’ll go first because I HATE FULL-BUTT UNDERWEAR.

    • LaRaeRae

      Same here. Constantly cause wedgies, never fit correctly, and always ALWAYS look bad, even in my loose jeans. I wear plain, cotton thongs that fit and feel like a dream.

    • Charlotte Fassler

      ME TOO. correction: I hate wearing full-butt underwear with pants or anything over them…but I’m not opposed to wearing them around my house.

      • Nancy Thomas

        LADEEZ – you really can, and you really must, try a pair of hanky panky boy shorts. They are wedgie free, the perfect combination of sexy and cute, and the best part look great under pants or around the house.

        I once was thonged, but now I see.

        • guest

          boy shores are sexy but they give me frontal wedgie 🙁

        • Amelia Diamond

          I like boy shorts to sleep. they still give me 4 butt cheeks!

  • Quinn Halman

    I do squats so I can have strong enough butt muscles that can unpick my thong-wedgie

    • Amelia Diamond

      Like, sans hands?

      • Quinn Halman

        Yes, I’m all about being discrete because I’d rathe squirm in my seat than touch my bootay in public

  • sarahuato

    I just can’t with thongs, feeling a constant wedgie is gross, the only time I wore one, I had to run t the bathroom, take it off and just go commando for the rest of the day 🙁

  • Fisayo Longe

    I literally cannot happily wear anything but. I hate my period primarily because I have to wear full underwear. No idea how this happened because I found thongs terribly uncomfortable for the first month of wearing them years ago.

    • Liana

      Same! They’re uncomfortable at first, I guess. I think it’s just different, so you have to get used to it, and now, like you, I can’t wear anything but!

  • Whitney Colon

    I only wear thongs when I need to. “Long Live Full Butt Cotton UnderWear!” I actually prefer the “G-string” to a thong if I must wear one… Less between the crack is better. I have a rather large darierre… And actually do NOT like the look of it in a thong; for lingerie purposes. Without support… Gravity tends to make my bottom look heavy rather than plump and desirable. Butt to each their own… Pun intended.

  • I’d prefer to wear both interchangeably, for instance, when I’m feeling sexy I’ll throw on a thong, but when I’m in the mood for cute & comfy I pull out the cheeky panties.
    I won’t go full grandma 🙂

  • Julie JT

    Thongs, g-string, whatever, are neither sexy nor comfortable, but the good ole full bottom covering cotton panty isn’y either, so i go for some hipsters (not the stereotype, the kind of panty) in microfiber or lace. Sexy AND comfortable without creating 4 butt cheeks. Everybody wins!

  • Jocelyn

    I don’t get the thong thing either!

  • Liana

    I used to be repulsed by the idea of thongs because I was young and embarrassed by my body, but I pretty much only wear thongs now, not only are they comfortable, but they go under everything without fear of VPL or the dreaded rolling, etc. There are some really bad thongs, and some really fantastic ones. My favorites are these all lace ones from Target, they have the cotton crotch of course, but they fit perfect, they’re cute, but completely invisible, even under leggings. I also like everything from commando, but their stuff is rather pricey. On the cheaper end, F21 tends to have good thongs, they just don’t last long.
    I find them to be a practical, cute, comfortable option; I don’t really care one way or the other if it’s a male fantasy…since I’m a lesbian and no guy is ever going to see my thong anyway!

  • Jmw

    There is not a pair of undies on the planet that can compete with a Cosabella thong. That is all.

    • Lucy

      I SECOND THIS. And their bras!!!!! No padding, no under-wire, just 100% man repeller.

    • Rebecca

      Yes…not even aware that they are on/in!!! Soft, no VPL, no exposure when bending over/waistband peek a boo, no picking a wedgie, 2 butt cheeks.
      Never going back, ‘nuf said.

  • Rosaly

    VPL is a sin! Thongs are great for an activity, even working out!

  • mknoun

    the best policy is to wear whatever makes you feel good! that’s what man repeller is about right?

    • Amelia Diamond


  • Sarah

    Amazing! I go for the thong (only) probably because it’s what I am used to when I started high school I started wearing thongs and never looked back. Full butt underwear makes me uncomfortable (feel like constantly worried about awkward wedgie…) and I think they look bad unless thats all your wearing on the bottom!

  • Rose Keen

    No undies are the best undies. Goes for bras too.

    • liv

      I agree. I really only wear underwear when I’m wearing short shorts or a short-ish skirt (just in case it flies up). Otherwise I never wear them.

    • annelie

      But how? Do your nipples not show through? There is no way I could teach sans bra, nuh-huh.

  • Dean Corno

    I prefer cotton thongs all the time. Full underwear either makes underwear lines or ends up bunching uncomfortably. Maybe I just haven’t found the right pair though..
    It has to be a thong though. Nobody looks good in a g-string..

  • Suzie

    Thongs all the way!!!

  • To be honest with you, the thong is a godsend. I say this because I really do not find them uncomfortable, and they actually accurately portray my bottom in its truest, best shape. Plus, I cannot imagine running in spandex in granny panties. That would just be a disaster, especially given our spandex are typically bright colors.

    However, I like a good full butt-covering underwear when I am wearing things that are off the body, like a dress or, I don’t know, a pair of bigger jeans. For everything else, le thong reigns.

  • LittleJ

    pads and pantyliners don’t go well with buttless underwear

  • Madeline Collins

    I’m with Amelia on this one. Full-ass underwear causes a major wedgie and requires me to go up a size in order to eliminate the four ass cheeks from occurring.

  • Stefanie

    I’m with Amelia- lord knows I don’t need two extra butt cheeks. Lingerie drawer full of V-strings (that’s what they call the extra flossy ones at Victoria’s Secret) = never having to worry about VPL. Full-butt underwear = pajamas.

  • CarlotaLMorais

    Thongs are invisible under anything!I love intimissimi underwear, all my underwear is from there!
    Thong means no worries, no marks, no weird butt! Flawless shape! Love them

  • sonia

    Panty lines are my worst enemy and they happen even in lose jeans. I hate them on myself and i get equally angry when i see them on other people standing in line in front of me. So thongs for clothes win. That being said, full butt underwear is more flattering for sleeping and lounging around with a partner in sex. ALSO Jenna Marbles enlightened me to the fact that thongs silence farts. It’s like magic.

  • Well, I’m not the biggest fan of thongs to be honest. For one simple reason: I don’t feel free at all wearing thongs, I feel rather uncomfortable, and also there are other type of underwear that’s not that big and that’s pretty pleasant to wear, right? 🙂
    Thanks for sharing!

  • Brie

    classic song addition, always a dance party waiting to happen. BUTT 😉 i rarely wear thongs. if i do it’s because my outfit calls for it. i can’t stand that feeling of something in my ass crack so i buy lacy ones that sit nicely on my body and i don’t really feel like i’m wearing a thong. i’m a bikini cut type of girl, i like my ass cheeks mostly covered. and yes, i wear granny panties sometimes. that shit is COMFY.

  • Sorry I’m not sorry, but I love big high waisted granny panties.

  • Hannah Cavaciuti

    love that song! aha was listening to it today before i read this…must be fate. I couldn’t live without these little pockets of seamless.

  • Aubrey Green

    Thong for everyday. No G String. Boy shorts, etc for sleeping and being around the house.

  • Ap

    Thong ftw! Day, night, work, sleep, workout, beach. With skirts, dresses and jeans. Thong all the time for me!

  • I’m with Amelia on this one, can’t deal with the full butt underwear, I’ll opt for the boy short occasionally but I’m a dedicated thong wearer.

  • abcd

    definitely team leandra!

  • The ones I hate the most are the bikini styles. Those are major wedgie-inducing since the rims in the back are right in the middle of butt cheeks. I wear full butt ones and thongs. And for full butt ones, I like to opt for really light fabrics like lace and such so lines shows through.

  • Lea

    I was recently in a production of the Vagina Monologues, and in one of the monologues (My Angry Vagina) the woman talks about how thong underwear is the worst, saying that it gets “stuck in your crusty butt”. The word crusty is, well…kind of fucking gross, but you get the picture. Thongs suck.

  • Kelly

    I read an article about cellulite where doctors agreed that women who wear briefs often have worse cellulite due to elastic digging in to their butts. Something to do with circulation, I dunno.

  • black stallion

    The reason most ladies don’t like thongs is because originally, they were not designed for women. If you look back in your history, thongs 700+ years were designed for men. Look at the design, And it doesn’t take rocket science degree to see.
    Note the pouch in front, what does a woman need with a pouch in front. Women usually aren’t physically active back then.
    Therefore thongs were designed for men.
    Yes, I wear them, and find them totally practical, comfortable, without any restrictions of movement, And airy.
    Now, yes, I find a woman in a thong sexy, but and I would never tell a woman not to wear underwear, however I do have a problem when people have a one sided view of these articles.