#SquadGoals. I said it, read it and rolled my eyes at it on Instagram throughout 2015. I also allowed its Sierra-filtered expectations to permeate deep within the nether of my psyche: Am I having enough fun with my friends? Why don’t we ever make plans at well-lit matcha bars and photograph the evidence of said fun?
But sometimes, all I really want to do is wander Whole Foods alone while eating dried mulberries from the bulk section and leisurely decide between Fuji and Honeycrisp apples. Is that so lame?
No. That, in the spirit of gold fish resolutions and productive goals in general, is the answer I’m sticking with in the new year. I love being alone. Diane von Furstenberg once said, “The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.” I think she told Whitney Port that.
With her advice in mind, allow me to propose my own idea for 2016: Skip the squad and make a date with yourself. Do this at least once a week. Buy chocolates! Bring flowers! Then put on your special occasion pants and enjoy any of the following scenarios:
I’m starting my list with this simple task because it seems to scare the most people. But why should it scare you? It’s a lightless room with a giant distraction screen. Not only are the chances of having a conversation in this scenario zilch, but you’ll get screamed at if you try. The whole point is to score the best seat in the house (super easy when you’re alone), stare straight ahead and try not to crinkle the Pirate’s Booty bag you snuck in too loudly. If that’s not a one-woman job then I don’t know what is.
Read and Chill
Okay, obviously, yes, the literal act of reading is not a group activity. That said, it far too often becomes this filler thing that happens in-between the main events of your days —half an article on your iPhone while waiting in the grocery store line, five or six pages of a novel on the way to work — rather than a savored treat.
Instead, channel the elusive CCSG, or Cool Coffee Shop Girl. You know her. She’s the one you spot enviously during your 3 p.m. caffeine run, staked out in the corner armchair with a 16oz. something in one hand and a Kindle in the other. Stop wanting to be her and make it happen.
Shop in Peace
Want to spend an hour on the shoe floor trying on Prada loafers? (Are you sure those aren’t actually oxfords?) Go for it. Want to spritz every perfume sample until you smell like freshly-mown sugar musk? Why not? Without stressing over a second party getting bored, you can take your sweet ass time trying on every single color cross-body in the handbag department and leave without buying a thing. That is luxury.
Your Favorite Restaurant, Table for One
Making this reservation will be easy. Here’s the tough part: treat it like you would any other longstanding appointment with someone you care about. That means fully relishing every bite of your meal — totally fine if that means bringing along a good book, but don’t you dare check your email. Or order dessert to go. Eat it there! Sit back, relax and get in those 20 chews per bite you hear about but never knew existed.
Give Yourself a Polished High Five
AKA, get manicure. And a pedicure. Hello, why not throw one of those 10 minutes shoulder massages in there, too? This is a prime opportunity to completely and utterly let your your brain melt into a mushy puddle of contentment without trying to be a good listener or coming up with witty retorts. Oh, and you’ll get to read all of this month’s magazines for free.
Now it’s your turn: what are your #sologoals?