That’s So Me

Without having an existential panic attack, I believe we can all identify who we are at a very baseline level. To contextualize this, imagine what you’d put in a dating profile if you weren’t concerned that your friends would eventually find the profile and make fun of you.

You’d list hobbies and books and likes and dislikes, maybe one or two sentences about your job or career and something about your background that you’ve carried with you to the present.

And don’t worry about clichés. Walk along that damn beach, girl. Go barefoot.

Next, think about the picture you’d use. It would have to be one that already existed, so you’d be wearing an outfit that lived in your closet and your hair would probably be similar to your current reality so as not to surprise a date who was expecting a red head as opposed to purple pigtails. (Or vice-versa.)

This is you. Or at least, it’s you right now. And it’s probably the best version of you. But does it explain the same “self” that we proclaim to be when we hold up a sweater (or shoes, pants, scarf, etc.) and declare it to be “me”?

What does “me” even mean?

“This shirt is so me.” Does it mean that we like it — bottom line?

Or does it mean we think we’re supposed to like it based on the above profile constructed to reflect the lives we live in our heads until some sort of seminal life event happens that causes a change? (Age 21: moves cities, updates wardrobe accordingly. Age 24: switches job, updates identity. Age 26: begins working out, updates health priorities, etc.)

Or, does it reflect an even more aspirational idea — she of the “me” we’d like to be?

I’m inclined to think of it as combination of all three: personal taste, the profiles we’ve created, and the aspirational person we’d like to become.

What complicates things is when someone else identifies something as very you. If they’ve assessed you just as you see yourself (or who you try to project) then it’s a compliment. “That Dries Van Noten sweater is so me!”

But if they’ve got it wrong — if you hate that sweater and everything it represents — then is it not “you” because of taste? Or because it doesn’t fit into your profile or add anything to the picture? What the hell do they know anyway?

…But actually, I’m asking. You guys tell me.

Image via Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony

  • Probably because it doesn’t fit the profile. I have had friends say something is so me and completely hated it. Others have picked out perfect things that I had been looking at already. I think we are a combo of all three.

  • Andrea Raymer

    I think all three aspects are intertwined. our personal tastes help us create the aspirational person that we want to be, but we have to adapt that to the life we actually have. As much as i would like to, I cant wear a tiara and a ballgown every day, it just doesn’t go with my lifestyle.

    I think the problems come about when someone says something is so “you” when you don’t agree. That I guess means that our perceptions of ourselves aren’t as clearly communicated as we had hoped.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Totally…but we are so funny. Why do we need to communicate our perceptions of ourselves?? Who cares? (Rhetorical and useless questions on my end because of course we need to! and of course we care!)

  • I’ve often been conflicted on this subject of “me” before, maybe because there’s always this conflict in our mind of who we think we are versus who we really are. Whenever I went shopping with my mom, she’d point out something that is “so you,” and I’d probably like it but then think, am I really that predictable? Or maybe my friends would send me a pic of something they think I’d like, and while it’s endearing, I always question myself and this person I’m projecting, like ugh do they really think I dress like a Republican’s daughter?
    We’re all just a different version of ourselves to every person we meet anyway. Just like the dating profile, it’s probably our seemingly “best self.”

    • Amelia Diamond

      “We’re all just a different version of ourselves to every person we meet anyway” – that’s such an interesting point

  • parkzark

    I know “me” evolves (kinda goes without saying). A while back I sent my friend a picture of a particularly preppy outfit I loved, and she was like “you look awesome, but high school you would seriously laugh at that outfit” High school me was super boho/hippy what have you. Best part about fashion/personal style/me-ness, it can evolve and we can dress whatever part we may choose that day. Me doesn’t have to be one certain style or type of dress.

  • pm.

    oooh AD, god darn it, this is harder to answer than I first thought. I agree with all the other commentors who bring up how weird and slightly alientating it is when someone ELSE says “Those pants are so entirely YOU.” It feels weird to be pinned, accurate or not.

    Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever said “those shoes are so me.” I might say “those shoes have my name written all over them” but that’s more my obsessive tendency to label things (kidding). I think I have a slight fear of calling an object “ME” rather than calling an object “MINE.” By object I mean my husband. He’s mine. But not me.

    I lost the thread here. Can’t wait to read others’ comments! And your responses to their comments! I also have a job which I should maybe pretend to do.

    • Amelia Diamond

      I have a job I’m supposed to be pretending to do as well but this is more fun // part of the job?? But you’re right: it feels weird to be pinned accurately or not. But doesn’t it feel sort of sad to not be pinned? It’s like that thing where you assume everyone is talking about you, and when they’re not you’re relieved…but you’re also kind of like, hey what the fuck? why aren’t you talking about me?? (just me?)

  • I agree completely with you. Everything about me is constantly changing, especially my style. So when I say something is “so me” I think of what I like, what I represent and what I want to look like in it. But when it comes to other people saying something is “so me” I get worried when I don’t like it. Does my style/personality/aspirations really remind people of something I cannot even bear to look at? On the other hand, when it’s something I like I’m beyond relieved that those 3 things have come together and reminded someone of something “so me.” At the end of the day all I can hope that something “so me” reminds people, and myself, of the good things in life.

    • Amelia Diamond

      “At the end of the day all I can hope that something “so me” reminds people, and myself, of the good things in life.” – i like this a lot

  • Allie Fasanella

    This is an interesting question that I was actually just thinking about this recently because someone at my work ( clothing store) held up an item and told me it was a very “allie” shirt. And it was true – It was definitely something I would wear and similar to things I’ve worn before. I think most of us have a uniform of sorts that represent our true self but then sometimes we stray from this. Sometimes I feel like looking like someone totally different or projecting a different side of me and I dress accordingly. So I’d say that when I say something is very “me” I mean the girl you’d see on an online profile.

  • I have a friend who only wears Lilly or monogrammed items, so whenever I see brightly colored sea creatures on clothing, I think that’s so her. I’m not as much referring to her personality, as I am something she would 100% wear. I think everyone’s style evolves and what was so me last year might not be as me this year, but it’s not really meEeeeEE… as I wear a lot of black, and I’m really quite colorful on the inside!

    • Amelia Diamond

      CJ and the colorful bones!

      • How did you know the name of my skeleton band?

  • Love love love it. The ruffled skirts are gorgeous, and the leather
    pants are too good. butik
    busana muslim modern

  • BigAppleChick

    I find no one ever gets it right with me because my moods are my style. I love to play and some days I play J.Crew blazer and other days I play London scarf or Paris hair or the city I live and breathe in New York! My whims seem to dress me and many times my whim seems to realize the laundry basket is more full than the closet. On those days “that’s so me” is usually rather wrinkled.

    My before and after’s are astonishing even to myself and somehow my before is a blank canvas of furry hair and Target pajamas (they don’t wrinkle!) but my after’s can be Carolina Herrera vintage pre-1992 polka dot number with Annie Lennox lips. (note my avatar…I memorialized the day).


  • ahahaha Valley girls (including myself) have taken over the american language