What Should I Wear to The CFDAs?

When I wrote this, I had approximately 4 hours until a relatively large slew of men and women who are in some way tied to the institution of fashion would convene at Lincoln Center in creative black tie to applaud a handful of hugely talented designers who were slated to win awards delegated by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. Instagram would receive an award, too — for not just moonlighting but frankly becoming a very reliable source of news within fashion. That award would then be presented by Kim Kardashian.

In spite of the seminal moments that the evening would invariably supply, one thing many people likely didn’t realize is that it could signify something else entirely. Something…stark.

How? What? Why? Well, if I hadn’t figured out what to wear, the night would also have gone down (at least in the photo album that is my mother’s memory) as the night that Man Repeller’s Leandra Medine approached Alice Tully Hall, nipples a-blazing and bikini line unkempt and possibly too, got arrested for public nudity.

So I asked you to decide for me: what in the good name of green faille flaps should I have worn that night? If you were me and the above photos were your options, would you go the “elevated gardner” route or accept that your arms and chest will probably never look as fit again (I have done pilates like four times in the last two months!) and as such should be galvanized?

The night is over and I wore what I wore but not time like the present to reflect on the woulda, coulda. shouldas of outfits past.

Speaking of social media as a reliable news source, Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover was released on Twitter. Speaking of “creative black tie,” here’s how to do your hair for such an event with little effort. Click here to see the current CFDA incubator class. You know who else has been recognized by the CFDA? Rihanna.