The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day


You know those days where you feel like you just went flying over the neck of a horse and took down a heavy wooden jump with the force of your entire body in the middle of a competition, and then had to sort of limp out of the ring with enough people watching that you could feel their sympathy eyes?

And then later, at the hospital, after having been driven around the parking lot for 25 hours by your well-meaning father who couldn’t find the emergency room entrance while your arm throbbed in pain, you had to repeat the last time you had your period to at least 5 different employees with clipboards, because menstruation is very clearly relevant to your shoulder which may or may not be detached.

It’s the same kind of day where, after replaying your mistake in your head over and over, followed by the doctor’s words that you will never walk again (which he actually didn’t say at all, it just sounded like that because a bad attitude clogs ears), a nurse walks in to sign you out and she’s followed by thirteen nursing students who stare at you with inquisitive faces, one of whom has a bag of Doritos stuffed into her white coat pocket which for no real reason at all makes you absolutely furious.

It’s the same kind of day as that time down the shore when your cousin pissed you off so you burst into tears and refused to have fun at the water park, even though you love nothing more than Lazy Rivers and water slides. And it’s exactly the same kind of day as it was yesterday, where everything sucked, including sunshine, and you managed to bash each and every one of your toes into something painful.

You know those days?

Yea dude. Me too. It’s called The Funk, and it’s practically impossible to get out of.

A good song can help…if it’s one that you haven’t played on repeat to death. And a snack can help, so long as you’re not also in one of those moods about how nothing seems to fit. I’ve heard exercise can help but when you’re in this mood, the suggestion to “go for a run!” might as well be, “smash your head into glass!”

The good news is that The Funk doesn’t last. In fact sometimes, the best thing to do is let it run it’s course. But because this is a group chat and you guys are not thirteen nursing students staring at me with bags of chips in your white coat pockets, I’d love to hear your suggestions.

Or at the very least, about your bad day.

— Amelia Diamond

Image shot by Lucia Giacani

  • lavieenliz

    you can always shift your bad day into good!!

    doing a giveaway on my blog!

  • I mostly try hard not to do anything relevant that day and also don’t try too hard to change it for the better – I just let it sizzle out. It always does.
    I do exercise to cure exhaustion or anger/worry/lack of sleep etc. and it works, but a bad day is not only … a case of mismatched body chemistry, it usually means some external forces are at work, too, so I just wait for the universe to change its mind instead.

  • Download the 1999 Woodstock live album (?) and draw up a new idea for a tattoo… *someone* I know did both of those things today. I’m a walking quarter life crisis.

  • 🙁 the title of your post made me smile though…that was one of my favorite books growing up as a kid!! days that suck just call for blankets and a dog to cuddle and endless amounts of greys anatomy on netflix. helloooo. the best!

    • afrodite

      When i saw it, i thought the same thing! Such a great book!

    • me

      I second old Grey’s Anatomy reruns! Especially the ones with Meredith & Cristina’s awesome solution to a crappy situation: copious tequila & “30 second dance parties” !

  • Ana

    Watching The Real Housewives of anywhere makes those days better for me. In all cases, your life will make more sense than theirs.

  • Eva M

    I always try to get just one thing done on my to do list so at least it’s not a total waste then spend the rest of the day basking in my miserable mood. I might call a parent and yell at them for making me such an underachieving loser. They take it really well.

  • Charlotte Fassler

    When it feels like the world is against me i complain to literally everyone who will listen or who I force to listen (sorry EVERYONE). But the way i get through it is to keep on truckin’ because it won’t stay consistently shitty forever. Also good to find any fragment of the situation that could be perceived as humorous and try to laugh no matter how much steam is billowing out of your ears.

  • morgantc

    I had a day like that this week and I rolled my yoga mat out in my living room, then did yoga while listening to Beyonce’s new album on really loud. Worked like a charm.

  • MargaretInArabia

    Find a collection of Roz Chast cartoons and go through them, followed by two short stories by James Thurber.

  • Ming

    oh man am I having one of those days today

  • Joanna Pol

    if you’re having a bad day you should probably watch this video. it always works for me.

    • Ana

      That just perked up my day. Thank you!

      • Joanna Pol

        so glad to read that! you’re welcome.

  • rhiarhia

    I watch the movie Singles. Somehow it always works, maybe because things get pretty terrible in a relatable way in the middle, and then at the end when Cliff says, “Bless you” when she sneezes… I always feel a LOT better.

  • thebloginista

    Two words: Online shopping

  • Ariel

    Amelia – are you from Philly? “Down the shore…” – generally a giveaway

    • Amelia Diamond

      Hahah no but good catch! A lot of my family is 🙂

  • Food. Good food, bad food, salad, crepes, cheese, Nutella, whatever. Make it a proper binge fest! You need fuel to get out of a funk.

  • Been there! You just have to get through it by telling yourself that it’ll pass. It always does!

  • Quinn Halman

    I have had a great day and for proof look and danielle snyder’s instagram

  • Addison Joel Butler

    What’s worse is when a funk lasts longer than just a day or two. While much of the funk is uncontrollable, I learned last night that a tall cup of peppermint tea and the company of a dear friend can really de-funk a pretty funky day/week/month/life.

    So what I’m saying is if you’re friendless and live in a state/country/planet where peppermint is outlawed (ie Switzerland) then your fresh out of luck and it really sucks to be you.

    (But f’realz. The funk is real and can go to hell. Thank god for late-night coffee shops)

  • I like to remind myself of this: If Britney made it through 2007, YOU can get through today.

  • Lauren

    on days like that I literally want to shut myself in my room the whole to minimise the possibility of even more bad things happening

  • Christina Esposito

    Cat videos always get me out of a funk…yes…cat videos…

  • Lucia Genevieve

    As a fashion design student, with only four weeks to finish an evening gown and a professor who is divorced with kids that takes her bitterness out on her students/doesn’t think I can complete/accomplish my dress design….I listen to some 90’s jams, smoke a cigi, drink some whiskey or go to a barre class which makes me feel like a graceful ballerina.
    Seams to help.

  • Sara Faye

    Remedy to how to get out of “The Funk”

    Channel your inner Beyonce.

    And just start singing random phrases from “Drunk In Love,” “Flawless,” really any of the songs on her new album (or any of her albums, or Destiny’s Child’s albums).

    Here’s my personal favorite phrase:


    I usually spend this time singing and dancing perfecting my best Yonce impression in the mirror until my vocal chords feel pretty strained or roommate tells me to shut up (though typically, it’s both).

    Repeat until “The Funk” has been broken.

    Guaranteed to cheer you up (or at least piss of someone else in your building too. Hey, misery loves company).

    Hope this helps.

    And MR, absolutely in love with you guys. Thanks for the great reads!

  • I like to listen to angry music…or music that’s angry in general at people. My current favorite is Afraid by The Neighbourhood which contains such great phrases as, “You suck anyway” “you make me want to die” and “fuck you anyway”. Singsongingly enjoy that for a moment and I tend to feel better. Plus, vodka always helps 😉


    • Ella

      I put on a good looking leggings and go to yoga or running!! They have great leggings that wii make you feel good

  • Mary

    go home, lay on your bed and wail at the ceiling for all your misfortunes.. you usually feel better right after

  • Alexis Joondeph-Breidbart

    Take someone out for lunch or dinner. Doing something nice for someone can make you feel better. Plus, if you buy them their food they have to listen to your problems.

  • Tamara

    Jimmy Buffett. OK, I’ll elaborate. Prescription for a funk: listen to Jimmy Buffett. (Pandora or spotify can help if you don’t have it on your own iTunes.) depending on the funk, pour an iced tea (the fruitier the better) or a full out cocktail (fruity works here too). Bonus points if you have access to sunshine and a hammock. Failing that, run yourself a hot bath with fruity smelling oils in it prior to preparing the other things. Your funk doesn’t stand a chance. Note the “fruity” theme. Hard to stay in a funk when you think of fruity drinks and jimmy Buffett, isn’t it?

  • I’ve tried everything, and this past winter has been one damn funk after another for me. Running, yoga, vegging out. So far, the best I’ve got is to watch the lip sync battle between Joseph Gordon Levitt and Jimmy Fallon – it is guaranteed to make me laugh.
    Also, I eat a brownie and go the hell to bed.

  • BethanyBeach

    I always watch an episode of Seinfeld. If whatever predicament on the show is humorous, I can find humor in my own life as well

  • Anna Malcolm

    Finding the humor or ridiculousness of any situation always helps. Sometimes it takes a couple of days to get to that point. Just know that once the shit passes, you’ll have a great tale to tell when you meet your friend for dinner.

    For immediate relief, I prescribe Cool Ranch Doritos (sorry?), soda, wine, looking at very flattering pictures of yourself, looking at any tangible evidence you have of your greatest achievements, and watching Mob Wives. Google pictures of Big Ange. You’ll be feeling better in no time!

  • claibird jones

    Have a no good day really makes a body second guess themselves. As a professional woman who should drink a dose of confidence every morning with coffee, it’s difficult to cope with making stupid mistakes. I tend to be absent-minded anyway, and when I start forgetting meetings or coffee dates or overbooking myself, I begin to beat myself up. That only sends me into a sneaky-hate-spiral. You know the one where you mentally list all your faults. It’s bad. So anywho, my day has sent me into a funk. How do I get refocused while also being kind to myself?

  • Lelano

    have a drink at your favourite place…alone, away from the world, just you and your amazing drink! (btw the drink can b virgin :))