What’s the Grossest Thing You’ve Googled?

Google Search is used for three things.

1) Reminding web users of important holidays — both local and international (although it’s not a good source for your more esoteric opportunities for celebration)

2) Casual stalking

[CHIX Productions]

And 3) Looking up gross stuff

I’m a shameless gross googler. If you tell me something about the human body that I do not believe, I will look it up that second — right in front of you, right in front of the entire restaurant congregation, even if my phone is somehow connected to the bar’s TV.

I once spent a good half hour learning about amniotic sacs. I’ll gladly research your rash. When I learned about koalas and their bifurcated penises, first I needed visuals, then I needed to know if using the word “penii” was ever grammatically correct — even in the case of peen bifurcation. It is not!

Then I looked up koala chlamydia. Image search. Had to know.

Female koalas have two vaginas, by the way. Kangaroos have three. Does this even count as gross? I find it fascinating. And thanks to Man Repeller’s non-corporate computer policy plus a dedicated friend who has been preemptively hand-selected to delete my personal device search history in case of an emergency, my list — like this world’s many wonders — goes on.

What I absolutely cannot handle is anything involving blood. No broken bones. NOTHING to do with with ingrown hairs. Nothing disturbing. Despite qualifications of “gross” I still like to think of the world as a rainbow.

So now it’s your turn. The cursor is pointing at you, my friends. Tell us the grossest thing(s) you’ve Google-searched. You just may make a fellow gross-Googler’s day.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis. YouTube video by the very funny CHIX Productions


Get more Humor ?
  • Tubgirl back in like 2004 🙁

    • Amelia Diamond

      uh oh what’s tubgirl

      • Kimberly Sickels

        When I saw the draft of 4558 dollars,,,rdv I accept that my friend’s brother was like really generating cash in his free time with his PC. . His aunt’s neighbor has done this for only 10 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car .

        To Know More Click Here

  • Research about dog poo in cases when my dog’s poo was looking weird, like turning almost black after she ate beets.

    • Amelia Diamond


  • Glorebore

    Mr. Hands. The good thing is i related so much to the reference on this season’s Broad City. Still doesn’t make what I saw worth it though.

    • Amelia Diamond


      • Jessica Davis

        When I looked at the draft of 5936 dollars, I have faith that brother of my friend was like really generating cash in his free time with his PC…uom His aunt’s neighbor has done this for only 11 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car. Look here for details.

        For Details Click Here

  • Cat butthole covers. Not really gross necessarily but strange. Also, when I type J in google it auto fills as “Joe Biden I would let” which I do not remember googling at any point but it must have been an interesting evening.

    Also ducks and their corkscrew penii/vaginii.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Love the cat butthole thing also hahaha to joe biden. googling duck dicks now!

  • Glorebore
  • Caro

    Googling dog penises to figure out why my dog’s would not go away. Also, yes, duck penises. My sister had open back surgery last summer and I Googled that and still clench when I think about it. I also am disgusted by porous objects in nature and on bodies. Googling “trypophobia” is just the worst

    • Amelia Diamond

      ew ew ew ew i had that search ew ew ew

    • Same phobia. There is some weird frog or toad whose babies come out of its skin. I can’t even think about it without shivering. Eek!!!

  • Tess

    Not gross perse, but definitely embarrassing, I googled “How to kiss” before my first time making out. Interestingly enough, this is apparently one of the most googled questions though.

  • marissa

    i am also on team duck dick google. it ruined ducks for me.

  • Googling tapeworms wasn’t a positive experience for me, especially because the whole Googling session started when I was looking into koala chlamydia. Tonight I ended up looking at images of necrosis after spider bites. Not a pleasure, would not recommend.

  • mollie blackwood

    When I was doing my student teaching at a high school I had to google a lot of things (what are these kids talking about?!?)… one of the worst most ill advised google search was “blue waffle.” Don’t do it y’all. The second most traumatizing google search was when I was trying to figure out if I had a poison ivy rash. Only worst case scenarios are documented.

  • l:ly

    i had a clogged eyelash pore…..like where the hair comes out of but it was a white head. don’t even google it. i vommed

  • Amelia,
    The best part of this post was that I knew it was you without looking at the author under the title. Hahaha!
    I also Google anything that sounds interesting or unbelievable. And then I make this face…

  • jp

    sloth penis

  • Marta Millere