What Weird Thing Soothes You?
10.05.16
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I loved the Mickey Mouse Club growing up (Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake) but I also had the Master’s Club: Mark O’Meara, Ernie Els, Nick Faldo.

I’m talking about professional golf.

These days, surfing and medication help me manage my anxiety and depression. But from 1996 to 1999, there was only the golf channel. I can safely say that both of my parents would rather get full body waxes while listening to Donald Trump speak than play golf, so I don’t know how it started. An accidental channel change during a commercial break? Who knows. Once I learned that the sound of the commenters’ narrations soothed me, however, I’d tune in any time I started to feel dizzy, nauseated or disoriented. If I wasn’t near a television, I longed for the game, the narrator’s voices and the crowd’s respectful murmurs.

Now, I watch makeup tutorial videos. This isn’t particularly niche, I know. It’s just kind of random. Like golf, I’m not huge on makeup, either. I’m more of a brow gel and red lipstick applied with my fingers kind of girl, yet I cannot get enough of multi-step makeup tutorial videos. I love the transformation, the procedure. I love how the artist has a vision and a million precise steps to achieve it, how every tiny flick of the wrist (oh, especially how elegantly they shake off excess product from their plethora of brushes) contributes to the finished product. I love how the model will slowly rotate her head from left to right. I love the before and after side-by-side photos. I love the lull of the artist’s voice, the cheesy jokes they crack while they contour. I love how all of the products are laid out on a table. Am I ever going to try an “easy” seven-step smoky eye for day? Absolutely not. Doesn’t matter. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I can’t summon the energy to walk my dog or do my laundry, when my thoughts are spinning out of control, I turn to these Bob Rosses of the face. I let their focus and precision wash over me, and I’m back to the golf of my youth.

Let me know in the comments: What soothes you?

Photograph via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

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