Do you ever stand in the middle of an elevator packed with people and think to yourself, “What if I just screamed right now?
Like either screamed at the top of my lungs as though a serial killer were coming at me OR, really deep and low and guttural scream, so more of a growl. Or yell.
What if I meowed? I won’t meow.”
Do you ever sit at a dinner table at a restaurant and think, “What if I took a giant bite of this wine glass right now? As though it were a giant Dorito chip?”
I ask because sometimes I do. Sometimes I’m walking down the street and I think:
“What if I…
Just ran and jumped on that man in front of me’s back?
High-fived all of the people who had their hands out hailing cabs?
Lay down right here in the middle of all these feet?
Got a running start and then dove into the pedestrian-X-ing street, which is urban crowdsurfing at its finest, if not a little rude.”
“What if I just stuck my finger up his nose while he finishes telling me this story?”
“What if I just fell asleep right in the middle of her sentence and started snoring?”
“What if burped? That would be really embarrassing!”
“What if I stole that dog?”
“What if I stole that baby?”
“What if I threw this laptop out the window?”
“What if I did that but shouted TIMBERRRR?”
You know when someone tells you a long story or something really, really important or asks how you’re doing and you’re silent for a few seconds and then go, “Sorry, what?”
What that happens to me, ^that’s all of the stuff I was thinking about instead. And that’s only the tip of the What If I Iceberg.
Your turn. Go ahead and add your all-consuming mental jogging creative-brain fluffing “What Ifs…”
Collage by Emily Zirimis.