Ask Isaac: He Won’t Give Me the Closure I Need

Hi. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough time, and that you’re finding it difficult to get over your ex.

However: After you’ve broken up with somebody, it’s not their obligation to give you closure or to help make you feel better about the breakup; that’s all you, my friend.

Let’s say he agreed to meet up with you, or called you back every time you contacted him. What could he possibly say to make you feel better about the fact that the two of you are no longer an entity?

At the end of the phone call, you’re still broken up. When you’re paying the bill after coffee, you’ll still be walking out of the cafe a single gal. If you went to a bar, had a few drinks, went home together and did the deed, he’d still be leaving you and going traveling alone.

Your ex cutting contact isn’t cowardly or disrespectful; it’s emotionally mature. He’s doing what he needs to do to protect himself and move on, and the best thing you can do is follow suit.

In the meantime, stop stalking his social media channels, surround yourself with positive friends who care more about you than they do about him, throw yourself into healthy pursuits like work or the gym or learning a new language, and if you’re really struggling to get over it, go see a therapist. (Your friends will only be able to deal with you talking about your heartache for a short while — don’t become THAT GUY.)

And don’t forget: This too shall pass. That’s an Isaac Hindin-Miller guarantee.

Follow Isaac on Instagram here, Twitter here, and check out his website here.

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