A Groovy Kale Smoothie From Us to You

It’s Wednesday! Time to party! And nothing says unadulterated fun like…A KALE SMOOTHIE! Am I right? Of course not. But since we have all agreed that we’re going to start living life in the health food lane, let’s forgo those fucking delicious cubes of Mochi that come as a topping option at 16 Handles and direct our attention toward a really easy smoothie recipe as culled by our pal from Beauty and Some Beef, Julia Adult. Please note this is not her actual name. Well, sort of not. Her first name is in fact Julia, but Amelia was really gung-ho on adding “Adult” as her last name to pun-fully counter the late Julia Child.

It wasn’t funny yesterday and I don’t think it’s become funnier today, but there you have it. Here’s what you’ll need:


2 cups chopped kale

2 cups water or coconut water

1 cup pineapple cubes

1 cup mango cubes

1 lime peeled and chopped

Doesn’t that seem too simple? Me, personally, I’ve been on a smoothie kick since Organic Avenue opened across the street from our office. This seems highly uncharacteristic of someone who has said on multiple occasions that I would prefer to eat my calories than drink them, but I’m amending that clause.

Julia Adult says you should put the kale and water in a blender and blend until the leaves smooth out and most of the bits are gone.

Add in the fruit and blend again until fully incorporated.

She also says you should transfer to a mason jar and enjoy, but I think you can totally just use a regular glass, should you so please. Says Julia on the choice to make a smoothie as opposed to a juice: the latter is great but we don’t all have juicers handy. Most kitchens come replete with blenders (not really, but you know), which are great for making smoothies (duh, duh DUH!), also smoothies retain nutrients from the various fruits and vegetables that some juicers may deplete.

Got a better recipe? SHARE IT.

Check out Julia Tambor’s Beauty and Some Beef here.

  • leighwhit

    Julia Adult is so unfunny that it’s funny. Everything Amelia Diamond says is funny. EVERYTHING.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Whoever you are, let’s date

      • leighwhit

        Even if I’m wearing a fedora?

  • GapToothedGirl

    I can’t taste it… it’s too much for my body!
    Come visit my home at http://www.gaptoothedgirl.com
    Love, Gap.

  • Rebeka Osborne

    Julia Adult. I like it! Ha! Also, blending the kale with the liquid before adding other ingredients changed my life. It’s such a genius tip. I’m glad it’s getting widespread acknowledgement.

  • Jon

    Julia Adult is pretty amazing. Kale smoothies rule!

    • Leandra Medine

      ladies n gents: her husband.

      • Julia

        Hahaha and he tried to be so incognito! “Jon”

  • Ariel

    looks awesome!!!

  • Amelia Diamond


  • Kale is sooo good! Love this smoothie recipe already!

  • sarah

    over consumption of raw kale can mess with your thyroid function, remedied by steaming it first,just a heads up.

  • BethanyBeach

    Made this smoothie for my mom for mother’s day and it’s DELICIOUS. (And Amelia’s snarkiness is appreciated as usual)

  • G

    Just made this morning for my girls but I swapped spinach for the kale (thats all I had). I also added 2 tbs MCT oil and 1 avocado. Came out amazing. I made lots so I put the extra in popsicle molds for my kids later. I will let you know if my picky eater munchkin 5 yr old approves! My 6 yr old loves it and so do I.
    Thanks for the idea:)

  • LiberalGilt


  • Okay, okay. Ever since my family got a vitamix and I graduated from college and roam under their roof I have been making smoothies EVERYDAY: purple nurple: 1 cup of frozen blue berries, 2/4 an apple, half a banana, about 5 strawberries, a slice of lemon, almond mylk, a drizzle of agave and a shit load of kale. For an actually green colored smoothie just take the blueberries out. Boom! And then I snapchat it everyday and pretend I’m Hannah Bronfman.