When the items on your feet beg the question: shoes or pants?

Two recent examples of high fashion shoepants include the shiny leather up-to-there pairs at Calvin Klein and Christian Dior.


Important to note is the ambiguous use of the word “there” in the above hyphenated word parfait. Where exactly is there?


Ah, but this is the crux of the shoepant.


Both Dior and Klein’s iterations were styled under skirts or tunics where hems covered up what could possibly be our answer — but designers Raf Simons and Francisco Costa know that a magician never reveals his secret.


Until it’s reached the floor of Barneys.


But even then, the responsibility falls to the wearer. She who purchases said shoepants should know that it’s up to her to keep the mystery alive.


Note: shoepants also occur when you’re wearing leather pants that match the same leather as your ankle boots, thus creating a seamless connection whereupon viewers cannot tell where the pants end and the shoe begins. The word is also tethered to instances where you wear your boots as pants. 


To use in a sentence:


A: Porshueyze, my friends and I are having a debate more intense than that of #thedress. Are the things upon your legs shoes? Or are they pants? We can’t tell because your crotch is covered and so for all we know, you’re wearing thigh highs.


B: They’re SHOEPANTS, Wanda. End of discussion.