A Note on Why (as Opposed to How) to Wear a Belt
08.25.15

To be added to the list of accessories thou shalt not leave home without: belts.

So to tally that up, we’ve got earrings pierced anywhere but the lobes.

Bags that look like books. Or picnic baskets.

Chokers for your neck.

Tassels for your arms.

Hair for your pits.

And temporary tattoos for everywhere else.

But why belts, why now? I’d like to argue this: they’re kind of like cinnamon. And in the event your outfit is an apple, everyone knows you haven’t lived until you’ve seasoned that fucker with a dose of the spice.

So, sure, you can wear a dress or a pair of jeans and a shirt without a belt because we’ve evolved past buying things that don’t fit us and thus require leather adjusters but do you want to? No! The answer to that is no — reason being you are a complex individual and your sartorial pairings should reflect that.

I invite you to consider the following option.

Man-Repeller-Belts-Style-Inspiration-1

Cool dress, right? Thanks! I like it too. I bought it from Club Monaco last summer and have maintained zero regrets since. It’s breezy, it marries navy and black and it allows for my jewelry to pop like a fragile woman’s kneecap riding dirty down a double black diamond ski slope. Great. Cool. See ya.

Now consider this:

Man-Repeller-Belts-Style-Inspiration-3

So much cooler it is palpable. You can see it on my lips. Indeed, the belt in question is more utilitarian than most — it maintains a pouch to both carry my things and my fupa — but do you see the added dimension positioned just between my belly button and legs, facilitated by the mere fastening of hole and metal rod? If I was comfortable before — again, the human equivalent of an apple — now I’m also kind of different. Not that kind of girl. I put cinnamon on produce, etc.

So now I invite you to consider the following recommendation: Utilize your belt loops. Put anything through them: string, chain, leather, whatever. See how it makes you feel. Let the above slideshow marinate. Appreciate the ease with which you are capable of urinating because it takes a second longer for your ass to meet the seat and then give yourself a round of applause because what’s the point of living if you don’t?

belt-man-pants

Get more Personal Style ?
  • Amelia Diamond

    I’ve never wanted a non-ironic fanny pack until right this moment

    • Leandra Medine

      Thanks Amelia, you’re my only friend

  • Abigail

    I enjoy that you two are the only comments thus far. I’ll contribute and say that my teenage brother wears a shoelace as a belt, I think as some sort of statement (potentially refusal to conform to normal belt practices) or maybe to practice shoe tying
    I also enjoy the idea that wearing a “leather adjuster” even though my clothes fit makes me a complex individual

  • “Appreciate the ease with which you are capable of urinating because it takes a second longer for your ass to meet the seat” was my favorite statement of this article. Is it wrong that when I’ve gone out for a night of romping around the town pouring whiskey down my throat, I’ve decided against the belt. Just for this very reason. I already know I’ll be waiting in line for a small eternity. The belt is only going to complicate things.

  • MISPAPELICOS

    I never leave the house without my belt. I feel naked. I have done for ever and I am glad that people are reconsidering it again, not that I care, jajjajaj ( Spanish laughter) I hate the little pouch thou. Horrid. Of with its head

  • Lucy

    I feel like an eCommerce failure because I can’t find those shoes.. or any like them.. and they haunt me.. I love them!

    PLEASE HELP.. where do I buy them?

  • BK

    yep good belts I’m all over it TELL ME ABOUT THOSE SANDALS I’ve spent (wasted?) days fruitlessly researching the perfect simple nude lace up flat sandal, got slightly sidetracked, the best I could manage was these which are great but objectively speaking do not fit the brief http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009T4L0CU/ref=asc_df_B009T4L0CU3856996?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&tag=polyvore006-20&linkCode=df0&creative=395093&creativeASIN=B009T4L0CU

    • Leandra Medine

      I had them made!!! Last weekend!!! At a shop in Southampton called Il Sandalo on Jobs Lane. The K Jacques ones are pretty solid too though: http://bit.ly/1Jus7uD

      • BK

        You’re a treasure

  • CAFK

    I like wearing belts above my boobs on top of something strapless. It confuses people which is half the fun.

    • Leandra Medine

      Can I please see a visual reference of this? Tx.

  • Umm who knew fanny packs could be so cool?

    xo,
    Melissa
    MissyOnMadison.com

  • Steph

    Where is the black choker from ?

    • Leandra Medine

      It is a rope I pulled off another belt
      SO MANY LAYERS!

  • Great post!

    Love it!

    http://bonaupetite.com

  • Lily

    Such a beautiful selection of dresses

    http://www.globalhandbag.com