The Alpha Handbag

In the event you happen to have $485 laying around, can I please, please, pretty please suggest that you invest that hard, cold cash in this cylindrical wunderkind of a possession-container by the cylindrical wunderkind possession-container makers at Yazbukey?

Screen Shot 2014-04-09 at 4.09.45 PM

Allow me to justify your purchase with five very simple, numbered bullet points.

1. It says extra cool mint gum on it which can be misconstrued as cum, which will make for very, very funny conversational fodder if I may project myself.

2. The colors on the plastic emblem that is tethered to the rest of the white patent leather purse are such that nothing will be able to more accurately help you usher in summer and the implications of its joyous months.

3. How many circular hand bags do you have?

Live a little!

4. You can either wear it as a cross body that sits directly underneath your rib cage or as a shoulder bag that hits you at the apex of your hip making it, you know, very hip.

5. The size of a very big head or a very small globe of the world, the bag can be used as a frisbee in addition to its intended purpose. The awesome caveat there is that you can also pack it with goods so it is fairly solid transporter of very private documents should you choose to stuff it with private documents and what not.

So…what do you think?

[Extra Cool Mint cross-body via Matches Fashion]

  • Ok then, why not?

  • So is it swallow or sp-? Sorry, it is that gum cum fodder forcing me to … Sorry.
    But you are right: since Germany has introduced round tax returns, the bag would be ideal to transport all the relevant financial data to the revenue guys personally. I’m sure they get bored by lack of colors as much as I do!