Do You Ever Use Your Shopping Cart to Pretend You’re Someone Else?
03.30.17

Do you ever use your shopping cart to pretend you’re someone else? Sometimes I’ll pile in an expensive pencil skirt that I know I’ll never wear thinking that if it sits there long enough, it might actually become me. Or maybe it already is me, just a dreamed-up version that doesn’t actually exist. But could exist if I pushed hard enough. You know?

There’s a silk blouse I’d 100% wear with it if I didn’t know that I’ve never eaten without getting my top dirty (and that taking button-downs from my brother’s, or husband’s, closet is much $$cheaper$$). I’d wear sandals with patent-leather socks built into them, probably under any circumstance, but I’m also most likely not going to buy any of this stuff.

Instead I’d probably opt for an orange slip dress from Topshop. It’s got a dramatic slit down the front and would look so festive, in theme for a party called Life on a Boat, with these raffia mules. I’d add a monster brooch, which I’m really pushing on you lately, and sheer-lens sunglasses with black frames to make me feel like an art director. Yeah. I have to find a cheaper alternative to that brooch, which is so big it is practically a top.

And then there’s this look:

A trench suit! House slippers, but for outdoors! A little clutch with a lemon attached to it.

I probably won’t get any of it (except maybe those house slippers) and instead just cut my losses/stick to leggings. At least until the sun comes back out.

Collages by Maria Jia Ling Pitt.

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