Shoes That Are Now Cheaper than $500

I don’t know what gets you out of bed, or at least motivates you to lift your arm and pull your computer into bed with you when the sales start knocking, but for me (even in spite of a recent eponymous line that I am so proud of, I may as well glue the shoes to my feet), it is the multifarious shoes that become cheaper than they were before. This should not be confused with cheap, but I am a true sucker for the psychological thrill of feeling like you’re getting deal even when you’re not. I can’t explain why, but isn’t it enough that I know that about myself?

In the past, though, I’ve been greedy. I’ve purchased more than one pair when really, I didn’t need to. (Sue me! Shoes can change the course of an outfit, much like a positive attitude can change the course of your day, and they always fit you! No matter how many crepes you’ve eaten in the last 24 days.) So this year, I’m committing myself to a single sale purchase and matching whatever I pay for the sale item with a charitable contribution of still undetermined location.

And the forerunners are:

Red patent leather ballet flats that will be easy to walk in; blue cake shoes; Victorian-era heels made for a modern, empowered street walker; gold sandals that will look so cool with sparkly ass tights; or silver ones that will do the very same thing.

Clogs, bow sandals, a Pepto Bismol boot, the artist formerly known as construction shoe but here today to make hiking look cooler. A short, red metallic sandal.

A glitter platform? Sandal clogs for next summer? Mary Janes!

Sneakers, brogues, nah.

A bedroom sandal! Leopard Top-Siders (these say, I summer in Nantucket but work in fashion). How about a floral pump? Or…

Is it about this slide I’ve been trying so hard to socially own without actually owning? Should I just bite the bullet?

Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no!

I think I found them.


There she is! Done.

Well! That settles me (and puts me out $630; any recommendations re: donation?). But what about you?

Collages by Emily Zirimis.

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