Are YOU an Instagram Husband? (Even if You’re Not a Man!)
12.10.15

We have a lot of thoughts on Instagram: the best time to post, how to write a caption, what makes a perfect account and whether or not Instagram is turning us into sociopaths. The latest Instagram news is here:

My friend’s boyfriend posted this video on her wall last night:

“I hate you,” she commented underneath.

“Did you just propose?!?!” is how I personally would have responded.

And then I watched as girls sent it to their manfriends and manfriends sent it their manfriends and I thought to myself, excuse me: if anyone can be a mom on a cruise, then anyone can be an Instagram husband.

Best friends are the immediate obvious alternative. (Especially best friends who automatically know that you like a full body shot, light on the left side and a right camera angle to catch your hip-akimbo pose.)

Family members are next. They are legally bound by blood to make sure you like the way your arm looks in a photo.

Pictures-only-acquaintances are third in line. These are people who frequent your daily life (neighbors, mailmen, office building security guards) who you aren’t technically friendly enough to get a drink with, but you’ve enough of a rapport established that you don’t feel weird asking them to take your picture.

Then there are the strangers, those unsuspecting few who, for whatever reason, have a face deemed so trustworthy by other strangers that they are asked all the time to take pictures for rando passersby. (This is me, by the way. I am the unofficial picture taker and direction giver of the West Village.)

In the age of doing things for the sole purpose of a social media post, accidentally making someone your Instagram Husband is unavoidable. There’s also a high chance that you are someone’s Instagram Husband.

So let us all take a moment of silence to appreciate he, she and we for their/our service.

It’s not god’s work, but it is blogs’ work. And it will not go unnoticed.

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  • Hmm, I would have to say that sometimes I make my brother my Instagram “Husband”. But in my defense, he gets more into directing how I pose/stand/sit/whatever than I do. Honestly, I’m probably my dogs Instagram Wife, but you know…he doesn’t ask for the selfies. Those are imposed. By me.

    • Stephanie

      My instagram is mostly my dog too! Too darn cute.

  • Quinn Halman

    One of my best friends will only do something if she can get an Instagram picture out the experience. She’s a genius in that way though, because as long as you look candid, you can get a pic. Even if it’s just breathing, I can get you in that corner with the good lighting. I’ve squatted on docks, ran into the middle of streets, and walked up and down the same dorm hallway in order to find the best piece of cinderblock background. I don’t complain too much because she’s responsible for, probably, 65% of my Facebook profile pictures and Instagram account

  • Jessica Peterson

    I AM SCREAMING AT THAT VIDEO BECAUSE THAT IS MY POOR, SWEET HUSBAND! bless him. bless all of the #instagramhusbands.

  • Can Instagram be added to wedding vows in the near future because some this can seriously make or break a relationship? “In sickness and in health, till your demanding need for Instagram perfection do us part…”

    • Lua Jane

      Wise suggestion!

  • oh yeah I’ve totally been that person that was directed to “take a picture of me gazing at the sunset” it gets a little annoying after take 3.

    • Ian Thompson

      Haha exactly, I usually want my buddy to get a pic of me wrenching on my car… He get sick of it pretty fast

  • Lua Jane

    My instagram “husband” is not any of my friends, it’s my dad. Shocking yes, but the man loves taking photos, is good at it and has a pretty good artsy eye, plus he enjoys doing it. Also he is immensely proud of the terrible, narcissistic she-monster he raised, so who better for the task than him. He doesn’t get the whole idea of “make sure my legs/collarbones/calves look thin” and couldn’t give a damn, but out of 10 pics he takes, five are instagram usable. Worst thing is, he isn’t there on 90% of occasions I’d like to have documented.

  • This video is so funny and fresh, i think it’s the time to be emancipated and let the husbands be free to support us for a change! 🙂 http://www.EllenVicius.com/news.

  • hahaha when he says “cuuuuute” If I had a dollar for every time I screamed at someone “UP AND ANGLE DOWN!!!” I would have enough money to just hire my own professional photographer.

    • lensman1122

      And don’t forget the sideways angle! 🙂

  • Tom collins

    I just love instrgamming personally.

  • Hahaha this makes me feel so bad for every time I’ve asked my boyfriend to take an instagram picture for me, but sometimes he’ll even suggest/offer to take a picture when I don’t want to. Not a bad husband I guess!

  • Aubrey Green

    This is hilarious.

  • Michelle Houghton

    Thanks for the write up! We like this one LOTS!

  • yup…sociopaths trying to visually outbrag their friends/followers about fake moments that are ruining their partners real lives. You nailed it.

    • Ian Thompson

      Partially yes, but I do it more for the art. Yes it’s a picture of my motorcycle but the backdrop is beautiful and it might inspire someone else to go for a ride. Same for my car projects, people are inspired by my modifications, and I show them how to do it.

  • Ian Thompson

    I’m totally that third guy, I love Instagram. I’m always trying to get pictures of my girlfriend and I, and always support her IG as well. And of course she has to stand around while I get that perfect shot of a car haha.

  • BK

    oh god the story behind the man behind the website behind the video is actually heartbreaking. He fell off a roof whilst taking photos of his wife?!?! What a hero.

  • HILARIOUS!

  • HAHA I have a lot of these….can’t even tell you the amount of arguments and I guess “fights” atarted because I didn’t like the angle of the photo and looked fat ? Ahhhh I’ll take a moment of scilence for the people who deal with me ❤️
    xx http://www.nuunablog.com

  • T.

    LOVE that video! My boyfriend needs to see this! He will only understand little of the English, but he will definitely understand what’s going on!