Is Hillary Clinton’s Merch Better Than Justin Bieber’s?
08.08.16
Hilary-Clinton-Presidential-Swag-Man-Repeller-Feature

This isn’t our first time talking about merch

Vogue.com recently dropped a bold statement: that Justin Bieber and Kanye West have better merch than Drake.

But I have another name to add to the ballot: Hillary Clinton. Is it just me or is the Shop section of her website on fire right now? I’ve spent the last 30 minutes looking through it and have responded in the following ways: tears, laughter, a feeling of pride and unity, smiles of the knowing but also tender and joyful variety, a warmed heart. I’m a walking soap opera, but that’s potentially my own problem.

A real question I’d like to pose: has political swag ever been this good? I recall being delighted by the clean lines and designs of Obama’s over the years, and his current store proves he’s still got it. But — and maybe I didn’t look hard enough — I didn’t see any totes with puns on them. Or a single ironic cross-stich pillow. Or any rainbow flash tattoos. Or any compelling designer collabs. Trump’s store was even more disappointing, so I won’t trouble you with a link.

The clear and obvious answer to the aforementioned question: absolutely not. Presidential swag has never been this good. And, okay, swag isn’t actually a crucial part of the equation I’ll be considering when I cast my vote but, frankly, I need a notebook that says “Madam President” on it, like, yesterday.

Scrolly-polly on down to see my favorites, then tell me yours.

This fun-damental rights tote 

(Fun-damental Rights Tote)

…because it’s hilarious and wearing it will make you think of both Sarah Jessica Parker and progressive politics inside of one beautiful minute. Ideas on what to store inside: Thinx, The New York Timesan MR hat, birth control, flip flops???

This Presidenta shirt 

(Presidenta Tee)

…because even if you only took one semester of Spanish in high school you still know that one particular letter in that one particular word means enough to make you shed a mid-afternoon tear.

This feminist cross-stitch pillow

(Stitch by Stitch Throw Pillow)

…because sometimes you need to rest your head but you’d prefer to make a statement while doing so. Preferably a statement that makes men’s rights activists red in the eyes.

This trippy Altuzarra T

(Joseph Altuzarra Tee)

…because people will get hypnotized into discussing with you, at length, how much Hillary made them cry during her speech at the DNC.

This Madam President notebook 

(Madam President notebook)

…so you have a tidy and self-explanatory place in which to record your detailed plans for world domination. Also so you can lose it on purpose and ask around for a notebook that says “Madam President” on it. That’d be enough for me.

This throwback Hill tee 

(The Loud and Proud Tee)

…because the image of a young Hillary might inspire young women around you to imagine their smiling faces on a shirt one day accompanied by with the word “Yes” but with three a’s instead of an e (which means more). Also, I’ll take those cheekbones on my shirt if I can’t get them on my face.

The woman card 

(The Official 'Woman Card')

…so you can dole that shit out when necessary! (But then be like, “Okay, but can I get that back because I need it.”) My mom carries one around in her wallet and plays it freely. It’s inspiring.

This rainbow tee by Tory Burch 

(Tory Burch Tee)

…because women’s rights are human rights and rainbows signify other good ideas like the one where love is love. I’m also appreciating the low-key attitude via ellipsis.

This floral H tote

(Flower "H" Tote)

…because sometimes you just want your personal aesthetic to be colorful painted flowers and Hillary Clinton without a lick of cynicism. Bonus if your name starts with H. Ideas on what to store inside: actual flowers, rose-colored glasses, an MR hat, chocolate.

This poster

(The Love and Kindness Poster)

…because when it’s hanging on your wall it will not only inspire you to be an everyday hero, but it will remind all friends and enemies of the proper use of the expression “doing good.” Also, its color palette will make you want to eat Skittles.

BONUS. The error page on Hillary Clinton’s site is on point…

hillary-subway-card

DO YOU HAVE THAT, BIEBER? DIDN’T THINK SO.

All photographs via shop.hillaryclinton.com.

merch-hillary

Get more Pop Culture ?