Boobs Are Older Than We Are

Today in groundbreaking news to make being a woman even more fun than it already is (I am not kidding here): our boobs grow faster than we do. That is some seriously cool, aliens-only, plebeian men not welcome shit. Proof of concept? The incubators of all boob-related happenings, Jezebel, just published a story that shed light on a recently-released study via Science Daily. The anterior proved that our boobs get old before we do as evidenced by our breast tissue aging at a quicker pace.

That’s a paraphrased quote from the excerpt. I am not making this up.

This probably explains the beauty of sagging and color-changing nipples and all that fun stuff we have waiting for us at the other end of our respective youths. Cue magical bras coming in to save the day or conversely, Flapping Annies* flapping along on their merry way — being beautiful because you said they are.

Drops mic.

*Man Repeller mandate: Flapping Annies are boobs.

[Boobs Age Faster than The Rest of Your Body Because Nature is a Dick via Jezebel]

  • Quinn

    Being young with a larger-sized chest has its perks (pun more
    than intended). Sometimes I get a weird Facebook message from a guy in my class and sometimes I just want to wear a turtleneck so that eye contact is there in conversations. Nonetheless, I am really an open book and love to tell the story of that year when my chest went from A-D. The moral to that story is that it is always worth it to pay however much that great bra costs and so I believe no matter what your boobs look like (or the colour of your nipples) a great bra is all you need to give you and your girls a boost!

  • Does anyone else remember that Judy Blume book where the girl saves money all summer to buy that boob-growing kit she saw an ad for in a magazine? I knew the moral of that story was that you shouldn’t spend all your money on a boob-growing kit (more or less), but I still spent a lot of time hunting through all the magazines in our house for one of those ads.

  • In middle school, I thought if I did certain exercises my boobs would grow. I think one of them was literally just trying to twitch my boobs.

    Spoiler: it doesn’t work.

  • FLAPPING ANNIES, I LOVE! It could also be a pancake house in, like, Nebraska don’t you think? Flapjacks and mammary glands for all.

  • debiparna c