When puberty set up camp shortly after my 11th birthday, it arrived with a fanny pack full of fun, duty-free souvenirs. Highlights included: curly hair, pimples, a crush on my science teacher, child-bearing hips and oily skin.
While I learned to live with and even embrace most of these new additions over the years, my oily skin has been a constant source of frustration. I’ve tried different mattifying lotions and oil-blotting sheets, but my shine has a distasteful degree of reflective stamina. Like John Travolta’s hair in Grease. Or a Pandora charm bracelet.
I want to grab my sebaceous glands by their slippery collars and give them a stern shake, because apparently they’ve missed the memo that I am no longer a pimply teenager. I’m an adult woman. I pay taxes and wear real bras. I eat salad.
Luckily, I’ve finally stumbled upon a more effective form of rebuke. It’s called BECCA Ever-Matte Poreless Priming Perfecter, and I don’t even remember how I found it. I think it popped up in one of those creepily intuitive ads on the side of my internet browser, probably because I frequently type things like, “how can I stop my face from looking like a McGriddle spatula” into Google search.
But I digress — the primer! It’s pretty much the only product that has ever successfully controlled my oily skin all day during the summer. I pat it on every morning after washing my face, and I can literally feel it sealing and tightening and mattifying as it dries — like a tactile manifestation of that schooooooop sound a vacuum cleaner makes if you place it against your skin.
My face looks completely matte post-application, which means I can customize my glow — a revelation for anyone with a history of oily skin. Perhaps a touch of highlighter on my brow bones? Or a swoop of shimmery bronzer across my cheeks! The world is my oyster, and I am its not-so-pearly pearl.
If you, like me, produce enough shine to guide ships through fog, go buy this shit. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Let’s keep our grease where we want it this summer. (On top of pizza. And maybe the occasional corn dog.)
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.