Aperol Spritz: Thursday’s Pick Me Up
08.11.16
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Pool floats killed rosé.

Sorry to drop such dramatic news on you like that without any sort of warning, but I promise this is less dire than it sounds and more in the vein of Sloane’s fake-late grandmother in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Which is to say: there’s a convertible outside waiting for you with good news. The terrible, bad-karma lie above simply got you out of school. Because Aperol Spritzes are trending, and they are the only late summer beverage you will every feel like ordering ever again.

The Aperol Spritz is similar to The Rosé in a few ways (should you be feeling trepidatious about the switch):

1) Both are something your grandmother in Tampa, Florida has been drinking forever. Way before they were cool and way before they were ironically cool, Tampa Grandma (with her lipstick stains on drinking glasses and your cheek) has known what was up.

2) Ice cubes — the more the merrier — are perfectly acceptable (see #1).

3) While you can drink them any season you want (this is not an alcoholic oligarchy), technically, spiritually and emotionally, they are most-definitely summer seasonal.

4) Both are the color of a heavily filtered sun.

The Aperol Spritz is superior to The Rosé because:

1) It’s a bubbly mixed drink, which makes the evening in which you drink it feel a little bit more celebratory, regardless of occasion.

2) It often comes with an orange wedge and I like any drink that comes with a snack.

3) It will never trick you by arriving in a stupid Appletini glass that sloshes and spills everywhere. Wine goblet or the occasional tumbler are its standard modes of transportation.

Here’s how to make one! (I literally just stole this from the Aperol website, and by stole I mean borrowed, just like Cameron did with his father’s car.)

You need:
-Prosecco
-Aperol
-Ice
-A non-shitty glass
-An orange slice
-Soda water
-Mint, maybe

Directions:

-Fill glass with ice and your orange slice.
-Add three parts Prosecco
-Add two parts Aperol (THAT IS THE POINT), but pour it in two circles, like a bartender. Don’t just dump like it’s ketchup.
-Then add one part soda water but don’t let it overflow. If it overflows, so be it.
-Garnish with a sprig of mint if you want to impress literally anyone, but it’s not necessary

Voila.

BUT WAIT. WHAT IF YOU HATE APEROL? That’s okay. You can substitute Campari for Aperol and keep the spritz, add the -er. (It’s a little less sweet.) Thank Verena with the cool apartment for this one.

Here’s how:

-Fill glass with ice and your orange slice.
– Add two parts Prosecco, one part Campari and a dash of seltzer. IDK about that swirly pouring shit.
– Top it off with one to two olives if you’re nasty
– Stir lightly

Call me and tell me all about your new favorite drink.

Or you know, leave words of Aperol wisdom in the comments section below.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis; creative direction by Emily Zirimis.

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