Chloë Sevigny’s Baby Is 6 Days Old and Already Cooler Than Me
05.08.20

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Finding out Chloë Sevigny was pregnant with her spaceman boyfriend, Sinisa Mačković, is maybe the best thing that’s happened in 2020. The second best thing that’s happened in 2020 was the actual birth of her son, Vanja Sevigny Mačković, on May 2. Here’s the full announcement, for the record:

The only concern I feel in this otherwise perfect family portrait is that this baby, only six days after his birth, is already cooler than I will ever be in my entire life. It near gives me a hernia, just thinking about how cool he is. Allow me to enumerate.

1. His name is Vanja. VANJA. How chic is that name? It’s like all other names have been zapped into nonexistence in my understanding of cool names and this is what’s left.

2. He has a Satellite Award, an Independent Spirit Award, and what should have been an Academy Award sitting in his house right now.

3. He was in a cool-as-fuck editorial while IN THE WOMB.

4. His dad is not actually a spaceman but runs a really cool galleryKarma Art Gallery–in the East Village that three people have told me to visit because it’s that Cool.

5. He will probably speak fluent Croatian.

6. He gets to watch Boys Don’t Cry, the music video to “Sugar Kane,” and Gummo someday and be like…. That’s my mom. THE RANGE. He probably won’t even be ick-ed out by the sexual content because his parents will raise him to understand sexuality is human and essential, even when it comes to your mom. Ugh.

7. He has probably touched Chloë’s golden baby hairs with his tiny baby hands.

8. His mom once wore this:

9. His mom also once wore this:

10. Did I mention that his mom wore this on the Simone Rocha runway?

11. This also seems worth mentioning. Watch him not call her “mom” because she insists he call her “Chloë”.

12. Does it feel like I’ve made my point?

13. I think I have.

14. Okay, Vanja. Get ready for the coolest life of all time, even though you were born into the weirdest world. I’m psyched for you.

Photos via Getty Images.