if and when
All the Questions That Ran Through My Head Yesterday

Are we going to miss the best season in New York—spring—altogether?

Everything is cancelled. Which events will be rescheduled and which ones will never happen again or at all?

Are people going to get TV deals out of this outburst of Instagram Live content? Is Cat Cohen’s live show better on Instagram or in real life? (I haven’t seen it IRL yet.)

Everyone is going to feel like they need a vacation after this (especially if one they had planned was cancelled), but we’re also going to have an economic recession so no one’s going on vacation anytime soon. Even though this is a statement, it felt like a question?

Did they already shoot Succession season three or is production paused?

Is everyone going to be an extrovert for a year?

Is everyone going to forget how to behave around other people?

If we take before/after photos, how much older will we look by the end (fingers crossed) of this?

It’s been more than a week, so how come I can still only do five pushups?

Is my dentist still in the office? What if someone had a dental emergency? It must be so weird to be in a profession where you put your hands in people’s mouths right now?

What are Jack Handey’s deep thoughts at the moment?

Are music festivals a thing of the past? Are commencements a thing of the past?

Should I trim my hair or just take advantage of this opportunity to let it grow out, even if the ends are driving me a little nuts?

What is this doing for Facebook’s stock? Slack’s?

Is Cuomo going to run for president in 2024?

* muffled, indistinct existential questions too bleak to spell out here *

Is it masochistic to listen to one song on repeat?

What is my password to WordPress?

How many people who listen to Spotify in a “public session” listen to music performatively?

How much can we learn from history to help us? Where is even the best place to start?

Is this the… pivot to video?

Do I even dare to so much as look in the direction of Reddit right now?

Is it better if I divvy up the money I donate in a piecemeal way to different organizations and causes, or just send one significant sum to one cause? Where can I make the most impact?

What should I do with my 30-day unlimited MetroCard that I used once? (The answer is to send it here.)

How much “digital connection” is fulfilling and how much of it is a marketing tactic?

Is this person not responding to me because they’re trying not to look at their phone or because they’re sick?

Will we wish we never posted anything on social media during this time?

Should I reread The Argonauts or start a new book? Should I rewatch Ghost World or watch a new movie? Why do I have an unquenchable desire to read what I’ve already read?

How much will this experience factor into our process of decision-making in the future? Will we always weigh this when we consider how far we move away from our families, who we choose as roommates, where we decide to live? Building a lifestyle that operates on a walking distance, dating someone in your own borough?

Should I stop texting my friends and just start writing them e-mails?

If something makes me laugh hysterically, is it because it’s actually funny or I’m just very fried?

What’s the shelf life on a pair of pajama pants that you wear every day?

Can you hand-wash a towel? A bedsheet?

How much should I read to have a realistic sense of what’s going on? How little should I read to prevent myself from completely wigging out?

If and when (I wrote this down and then lost my train of thought but I actually think this is an entirely valid question on its own)?

If this pandemic “ends,” is it going to resurface again in a few months?

Will anything ever be the same? On a global level, a national level, a city-wide level, a neighborhood level, a personal level?

Is the first week the worst or is the eighth week the worst?

Are we just going to get used to it?

Graphics by Lorenza Centi.