It is not April Fools’ Day and I take you neither for a fool nor a cartoon character named April, but for this week’s edition of Express Lane Style Tips, I am either empowering you to take the matter of your big sleeves into your own hands or making you feel like I have wasted three minutes of your life. If you feel further aligned with the latter prospect by post end, all I’d ask is what you’d have done with these three minutes anyway. If it is truly worth getting the time back, I’ll figure out a way to outsource three of my minutes to you. That’s how much I care. But anyway, sleeves!
I posted a photo to this new photo-sharing app I recently downloaded called Instagram and so many of the comments were like, “We need a tutorial on how you shove those sleeves into a coat,” so I thought to myself, “Self, can you offer a tutorial on how to shove puff sleeves–a tried, true and ongoing frontier of the current fashion zeitgeist–into a coat?” And here we thought they were going to die! Here we were sure, in fact. Anyway, as I was thinking through the ins and outs of this very important tutorial it occurred to me that the solution is simple. All you have to do, effectively…
Is shove. (Pinch and press down the middle point of the sleeve, then fold the sides that form into each other.)
And shove. (While you try with just one hand to get your arm through sleeve no.1.)
Then keep on shoving. (Repeat on other side.)
You just take your big sleeves, and you force them to fit inside your littler coat sleeves. Of course, it helps if said sleeves are rendered on a flimsier fabric that promotes more swift mobility, but even in the event they are not, revel in the fact that you’ve earned yourself makeshift shoulder pads for the sum of time you spend wearing your coat.
A few things to note under the assumption your coat is wool/heavy (if it is a trench, none of this really matters, you’ve already mastered the shove): Thicker fabrics are better–the sleeves don’t wrinkle. If, however, the fabric of said sleeve is flimsy, that’s fine, you’ll just have to jooj a little when you exit your goat. I mean coat.
The longer the sleeve, the easier it will be to hold the ends with your fingertips while you place your arms through the sleeves. As you can see, mine are short, so I shoved from the top, which works too because ultimately, you know, the bottom line is this: if there’s a will, there’s a way. And when there’s a way, there is freedom. And when there is freedom, you give exactly no fucks what the people might say about your giant shoulders because you know that you did it.
You stuffed your big sleeves into a little coat. Congrats.
Photos by Beth Sacca.