August was a month full of events for Man Repeller. There was at least one shindig per week and, as per usual, it was a treat and a half to see so many community members in the flesh. But our party-heavy summer nights weren’t the only place to find mood-making community interaction; once again the comment section was hotter than a July sidewalk at 2 p.m. Folks were funny, insightful, and most delightfully, totally game to go all in on Mistakes Month.
Here are but a few highlights from the comment section this month!
This pro-Tinder meet cute from “You’re Almost Definitely Going to Meet-ur-Cute Online”
“My bf and I have been missing each other our whole lives – up until meeting on Tinder. We both lived on the same base in Hawaii as kids, moved to the same town in Arizona years later, went to the same middle school (he was two grades ahead of me), knew some of the same people in high school and revolved in the same social scene – but never met! We matched last year after I re-downloaded Tinder in a Lyft after attending a wedding – best decision I’ve ever made!”—Aarian
Ding Ding Ding from “Do Trends Matter Anymore? Leandra and Harling Discuss”
“It seems to me that there are both quick surface cycles (e.g. ankle bows) and deeper, longer-term cycles (e.g. wide-legged, cropped pants), and the former may never make it to your average non-fashion-conscious consumer while the latter spreads until it includes everyone because no other style of pants is available to buy. People will participate in or avoid either of these levels depending on whether they prefer to fit in or stand out—and who they’re trying to fit in with/stand out from. When it comes to getting dressed for your everyday life (including social media!), we always do it with the people around us in mind, so we can never avoid the motion of trends (sartorial memes). Even people actively trying to avoid the trends just create an equal but opposite reverse trend. For the mathematically-minded, a paper on the ‘hipster effect.'” —Anna
The comment that prompted Haley to reply “You just wrote my essay much more efficiently” on “Unconventional Life Hack: Stop Cancelling Plans”
“I would wager a fair amount of avoidant behavior is disguised as ‘self-care.’ A lot of times for me (certainly more often than doing a face mask in the bath), self-care is powering through the inner voice screaming ‘I don’t wannnaaaaaa!!!!’ and getting it done—whether it be meeting a friend after a long day or working out. There’s a lot to be said for holding yourself to commitments—then you don’t get to beat yourself up over how flaky you are the next time you’re feeling down. That’s some real self-care.”—Ev
A very relatable comment from “Ask MR: I’m Scared I Will Never Make New Adult Friends”
“It took me a while before I realized that I was going to burn through some ‘friends’ in my attempts to find new friends as an adult; some people just don’t work out. I’m in a good place now, but my friend circle is disjointed, so I’ll likely never have that sort of ‘Girl’s Trip’ or ‘Bridesmaids’ friend circle. I think I’m okay with that, though.”—SouperCrackers
A refreshingly honest admission on “Astrology Doesn’t Have to Be Real to Be Helpful”
“Thank you for this, this has helped me a lot in my ‘maybe it’s NOT cool to be a huge science jerk about it all the time’ journey.”—Elisaaa
A peek behind the publishing curtain on “Let Us Luxuriate in the Next-Level Media Blitz for a Very Good Book”
“I work in book publishing and tbh I am amazed and so so pleased to see how much marketing and publicity [Jia Tolentino’s] getting for this book. It’s really not often that a young women of color, especially a millennial, is given this much publicity in the media for a book. As someone who thinks the publishing industry is not moving fast enough with the times, it’s refreshing to see a media blitz like this that is catering to a younger, more diverse crowd.
Most likely, Jia also has the help of a publicist or publicity team, but her exposure and success as a writer still helps pave the other younger POC writers to get the same kind of exposure and backing from media outlets or publishing houses. Most publishing houses have less than 30% POC authors, and sometimes less than that for women.
Also, as an author doing publicity, it can get really boring to go to the same kinds of media outlets and talk about your book in the same context over and over and over. A book tour can last several months to a year, so it’s cool to see her media blitz is diversified and showing her as someone who can relate to a bunch of different communities.
Sorry for the rant but from a book publishing/book marketing perspective, she is such a success story and very inspiring!!”—SF
This comment that made my whole dang day on “My Favorite Secret Single Behaviors, in No Particular Order “
“I wake up with a sore lower back because I am old now. Sleeping in the nude is not uncommon for me as I’ve been known to dramatically rip my clothes off in my sleep. Upon waking I up, I am usually too lazy to put any garments on before rolling my back out on the foam roller. So I guess I’d say my SSB is foam rolling naked, sleeping naked, and you know… coming home from a work out starving, throwing off my clothes, and eating store bought roasted chicken over the sink in the nude. AM I A MONSTER? Most likely. Someone better wife me down quick—I may be doomed.”—Julia
I can’t pick just one of these mistakes so here are three from “20 Times I ‘Did Something That Scared Me’ and It Didn’t Work Out”
“When I thought my internship coordinator genuinely wanted feedback on her management style so I spent ten minutes tearing apart the program and her leadership and was shocked when she told me not to come back the next day. -Age 20″—Lyla
“Not my mistake, but I was affected for years. Every Christmas my [mother-in-law] makes her grandmother’s steamed plum pudding. It was awful, dense and flavourless. Then she actually looked with fresh eyes at the recipe and read 2 tablespoons of breadcrumbs. We had been suffering through 2 CUPS of breadcrumbs for years. Now it’s a lovely rich decadent treat.”—Gene Day
“When I was going through a huge dry spell in college that I met up with a guy from Grindr (whose photos were v misleading) and he proceeded to rub a crystal ball on my arm in an effort to ‘ease my tension’ and tell me that if u play music at a certain frequency it actually causes you to win money at a casino, all while in the passenger seat of my car within 5 mins of meeting him”—winston nguyen
A reminder that reality is wrinkly on “Office Apropos: 30 Summer Outfits We Wore Last Week”
“Was highly soothing to me to see some wrinkles in these images – even the most stylish crew doesn’t alllwayyys pull out the iron. I breathed a little easier today ;)”—Natalie
Some very good love advice on “Believing in Soulmates Might Hurt Your Chances at Finding Love”
“Soulmates still require effort!! I know dating tends to be a game of who is the most apathetic but this will not work if you want a serious life partner.
I wasn’t looking for anything serious at all when I met my husband and it was like instant, insane, want to be around this person all the time chemistry. We have the same world views and put in the work with each other. But when we were first dating we also both texted each other back promptly, told each other what’s on our mind, told each other when we wanted to say ‘I love you’ but felt crazy because it had only been a month, etc etc. We recognized we had something special but that was only part 1–part 2 was taking care of what we had to make it something substantial. We overly-communicated our feelings in the beginning. If I had treated him like the guys I was dating at the time, the waiting to text back, the feigning indifference, the fear of seeming too needy, the only showing the best of myself, it wouldn’t have allowed us to really be together.
The idea that the perfect person for you is out there is real, but when they come into your life you can’t play games and you can’t be someone you’re not. And if the person you love can’t or won’t reciprocate how you feel, they’re not your person.”—montrima
A truly bonkers series of events on “A Public Cheating Accusation, and Other Tales of Mistaken Identity”
“A couple of days after the girl licking the blue bell ice cream story went viral, some lady went to the guest services counter at the store I work at to tell them that I looked like that girl.
1. I don’t (pretty sure it was a white woman that thinks we all look alike)
2. Not sure what she was expecting to get out of telling them that
3. I guess she wanted me removed off the premises??????!!!!???
Idk, that was weird.”—
So there you have it, just a few sterling sentences from a sea of gold! Also, there was a fair amount of healthy debate this month and it felt odd to pull out thoughts and highlight them out of context so take a look at Two Years Ago You All Hated My Money Diary. Here’s How I’m Spending Now and All the Street Style You Could Want Courtesy of MR X Klarna’s Summer Soirée.
Feature graphic by Dasha Faires.