Even though I am the rare millennial who knows nothing about my astrological sign, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in fate. What else could be responsible for magically healing a persistent zit on my face right before the one weekend I was supposed to see my crush in sixth grade? Or for putting me in the same apartment as a girl in college who turned to me one day and said, “Have you heard of this fashion blog Man Repeller? I think you’d like it.” Or, most recently, for prompting me to look in the mirror after getting dressed on a chilly winter morning and realizing I resembled a stick of humanity’s most beloved condiment, spread, ingredient, still life inspiration and table mainstay: butter.
Once I started thinking about dressing like a stick of butter, I couldn’t stop. I realized this approach conveniently unites four key factors of interest: a food that makes even the most mundane foods taste like edible nirvana (see: pasta, bread, eggs) and scores high marks on the wellness-industrial complex scale of interest (see: bulletproof coffee); a viable social media hashtag (search #stickofbutter and in you’re in for a treat); an incredibly easy formula (all you have to do is combine your favorite white, ivory, yellow and taupe clothes and poof!); and a reprieve from the doldrums of typical winter dressing (which often involve lots of utilitarian drabness).
With butter as my aesthetic muse, it’s impossible not to feel indulgent. Complex. Universally appealing. Worthy of being spread on a piece of toast and savored with primal enthusiasm. Calling something “buttery” has always been a particularly delightful kind of praise. Buttery skin. Buttery leather. Buttery popcorn. Buttery paint on the walls of a Nancy Meyers movie living room. The euphoria of having my entire outfit conjure this simultaneously rarefied but accessible reputation, one that charms each and every one of the five senses, is therefore wholly logical.
Much to my pleasure but not to my surprise, I wasn’t the only one who wanted to spend my days slathered in butter. Gradually, the idea of dressing like a #stickofbutter started to sizzle well beyond the confines of my own Instagram page, greasing the wheels for a bonafide social movement. (I would apologize for my buttery puns, but we’ve already established that buttery is nothing if not a compliment).
I’m a big fan of any and all winter style hacks — from colorful coats to après-ski — for their ability to makes the process of hoisting my cold toes out from underneath my warm duvet just a little bit easier, and maybe even a little bit exciting. Dressing like butter, despite its absurdity (or perhaps precisely because of it), does that in spades. It’s an instant, melt-in-your-mouth formula that makes you look good and feel good in a matter of minutes, the intrepid superhero to your seasonally depressed carbohydrate.
So what are you waiting for? The #stickofbutter gang awaits with open arms and well-greased hearts.
Feature image by Edith Young.