I would say one of my true vices is being an internet creep. I can’t help it! I just want to know that everyone is as weird as I am, or has as many hang-ups, or feels the same way about Tony Shaloub’s new beard. Since it’s Vices Month, I just went ahead and leaned into my voyeuristic tendencies and asked MR readers to share their vices. Get your digital peeping-tom on below.
“I eat on my bed. Truthfully I think this is great and more people should do it, but it’s also really gross. I’m not having a lobster dinner in there or anything, but I’d say 85% of nights I eat at home I do it. I can’t kick it because I think there’s a lot to be said about eating a meal while in peak comfort, one less thing to distract you from your soup!”
“Pot! I know there will likely be some health repercussions down the line, but there is just nothing I enjoy more than smokin’, taking a warm bath and listening to my favorite podcast.”
“Diet Coke — can’t stop, won’t stop. It’s my favorite drink and I never-ever-ever get sick of it (despite the millions of terrible chemicals or whatever). I kind of hate the idea that we have to always do good and worthy things and give up all of our vices. I want to do some pleasurable, not good for me things in my life!”
“I can’t stop googling everything I think that is possibly symbolic in Sharp Objects. I think about this show probably 4-6 times a day.”
“Twitter. I know it’s toxic, I know it’s a bad way to get news, I know social media is a poison in a lot of ways. But I love the dumb jokes and seeing what my friends who live far away are up to.”
“Biting my nails. Such a bad habit but my irrational mind keeps telling me that it keeps me from getting sick because I’m exposed to more germs.”
“Cookies before bed. Particularly chocolate chip but I’ll take anything I can get my hands on. My dad didn’t keep a lot of junk food in the house—except for a stash of Tate’s Cookies. Every night after dinner, it was my little ritual to creep downstairs and eat exactly three cookies off of a paper plate, dunking each intermittently into a mug I’d filled with milk. Even as I’ve gotten older and become the kind of person who takes herbal supplements and actually enjoys eating greens, I still need my nightly cookies. Though, admittedly, one thing is different: the milk is now oat.”
“I canNOT stop watching and then viciously critiquing Instagram makeup videos. They lull me into a copacetic state until I can’t help but question why they did it that way, how they all use the same shapes and silhouettes, and why a heavy layer of foundation is needed. It’s like I watch them to ‘veg out’ but then shame myself for watching something I like — something that is inherently femme.”
“My work crush. I know it’s self-destructive and will never amount to anything but indulging in the idea is my absolute guiltiest pleasure. And I don’t plan to kick it anytime soon.”
“Smoking. It’s not every day, but sometimes it’s just something peaceful to do alone.”
“For me, my biggest vice is self-doubt. I don’t drink or do drugs, but no matter what I do I can’t kick the habit of finding faults in myself. Self-doubt withholds me from my goals. I question everything and often have panic attacks about where I’ll end up as an artist because of this doubt. Every year I make a resolution to believe in the good of the future but have found by the end of January I am back believing I’ll end up a starving artist.”
“Cheesy bread from a neighborhood pizza shop. I know I shouldn’t order it every week, but it’s a simple pleasure that I like to reward myself with. Work-life balance is hard and sometimes unpredictable, but my cheesy bread order is consistent and so satisfying.”
“Okay. My vice is honestly pop music. But not just top 40 like reallllly bad pop music. I am literally doing my MBA and have a respectable job in marketing lined up afterwards, and walk to school/work every day listening to One Direction. I have friends who always try to get me to listen to cool new indie bands and I ALWAYS give them a try, only to find myself craving a predictable beat and catchy lyrics, which can only be satiated by pop tunes.”
“Dramione fanfiction. It’s hilarious, and hot and my sweet escape from knowing I’m dating a Ron Weasley because it’s comfortable and sweet.”
“Bottling up emotions. I know the negative impact it has on me and those around me, but it’s my brain’s knee jerk reaction whenever I feel a negative emotion towards someone. Like a security blanket. The thoughts spiral but the words never find their way onto my lips.”
“Peanut butter M&Ms. I’ve vowed many times to just finish this bag so I can get rid of it and then start fresh the next day. It is only a matter of hours before I am in the nearest Rite Aid, scrounging through holiday candy to find the sweetest snack that ever was (and you can get 2 bags for $6 with a Wellness card).
“Skin care trends — I dig through comments on Into the Gloss and Insta influencers galore for the latest product, ingredient and its benefits. My skin is inflamed as a result but I just can’t quit it because maybe just maaaayybbee this new acid is the secret my skin’s been looking for ?? It’s a struggle. Please advise.”
“Buying beautiful clothes and thinking they will make me the person who would be bold/colorful/sexy/adventurous/head turning to wear them and then keeping them in my closet and wearing pilling leggings and fleeces instead.”
“Red pickled onions.”
“Starting, but not finishing. I’m always starting new things, but I never seem to complete them.”
-Sara Grace, 18
“Living in the future! I am constantly planning, choosing a next vacation spot, searching for the next pair of sneakers. Before Christmas I start planning how we should spend the next Christmas. I don’t know why I struggle so much with just enjoying the present. Maybe I’m scared to slow down?”
“Eating sprinkles with a spoon out of the bottle or sometimes straight out of the bottle. It reminds me of childhood, the colors make me happy and it’s better than eating a whole cake or ice cream covered in sprinkles.”
“Weeknight bootycalls. I love a weeknight up until 4 a.m. with a love. But once my alarm rings at 7 a.m. it’s instant regret, and instead of a cute breakfast we’re both grudgingly drinking coffee and leaving. It totally fucks up my morning, and their mornings. But sometimes you’re so busy that losing sleep for wild sex and intimacy is necessary.”
Beer! Despite its calories and regretful behavior inducing properties, it also makes me switch off. It turns me into a funny person and others into bearable ones. I will quit some day. But today is not that day.
Instagram stories. They’re too tempting.
– Murray 53
*Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
Photo by Mark Peterson via Getty Images.