carly rae jepsen man repeller
Carly Rae Jepsen Is My Favorite 32-Year-Old Teenager
11.16.18

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. How are you? Are you caught up on The Good Place?? Have you listened to PJ Morton’s new Christmas album??? Okay good. Please know that all is well with me as I am still fully engrossed and emotionally involved with “Party For One” by eternal teen Carly Rae Jepsen. I know it came out on 11/1/18 (gonna tattoo that on my body) but can we chat about it for a hot second?

You know how you and I spent a good part of our early twenties dancing/mourning to Robyn’s Dancing on My Own? I feel that that void in my life has now been filled thanks to CRJ! But it’s not as sad? It’s also about masturbation kind of? It’s a full on jam? She’s bouncing back with aplomb while still acknowledging her disappointment???? You know, I think that’s it. I appreciate a “yeah, okay, whatever” song that acknowledges that you can be fine and also a little bummed that things didn’t go as planned. Even if that thing is something casual.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why Carly Rae has struck a particular cultural nerve. She makes pure, unadulterated pop music, but maintains a sort of cult following that hints at a depth to her lyrics that really resonates with people. Have you seen all of those “give Carly Rae Jepsen a sword” memes? Clearly she’s tapping into something and possesses a unique power, because while I would lay down my life for Beyoncé, I have never once wanted to give her a sword.

I hate the phrase “the friendzone” and I know it presumes that people owe you something beyond friendship (they don’t!) but….CRJ has shone a light and made an art of meditating on finding oneself in the friendzone as a woman. Lusting after someone who doesn’t want you is the stuff hit songs are made of, but being right there for someone who just doesn’t see you like that if a key part of her oeuvre. Relatable, my good dude.

She’s 32. I’m almost 32. Being 32 is almost being 40. And while I think being a single lady in your thirties is not really a big deal, you don’t see many of us running around having crushes and riding our bikes past our crushes’ houses all chill and having actual “Boy Problems.” When I feel guilty about texting my friends old pictures of James Earl Jones or something — because adult women go on real life dates and not imaginary fantasy jaunts — I take comfort in the fact that Carly Rae Jepsen is very publicly out here getting giddy over crushes and stuff.

Okay but back to this new song and its accompanying video. It’s all about people alone doing some of the best alone things. It’s basically a catchy encouragement to eat in a tub! Dance like nobody’s watching! Cut your own bangs! Get yourself off! It’s a celebration.

In summation here are some very important life lessons I’ve learned from this pint-sized Canadian chanteuse:

I’m just going to the store to the store. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Photo by C Flanigan/WireImage via Getty Images.

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