Welcome to MR’s Sunday Scaries Diaries, where we chronicle our post-weekend nerves in an effort to make all of us feel a little less alone as we procrastinate Monday. Below, the Sunday Scaries Diary of MR’s Market Assistant, Elizabeth Tamkin.
My Sunday Scaries began on Thursday at 4:30 p.m. They arrived right after a meeting that forecasted a hectic week ahead. I love my job — you could say it’s a part of me — which is why I think Sunday Scaries hit me so hard. I see the work week as a time for me to prove the sort of work ethic I pride myself on, finish everything I set out to do, and further underline my identity and purpose through my job. My fear of failure drives me. That’s a lot of pressure, I know. I was like this in art school, too, so I’ve been doing this Sunday Scaries business for years. That being said, I am no pro.
I wake up to the overcast glare coming through my curtains. I didn’t go out last night but instead binge-watched the show Maniac on Netflix. I am on episode six, but I’m still not even sure I like it! I woke up several times in the night with a sore throat which happens to me when I’m stressed out or haven’t drunk enough water. Can confirm both.
My boyfriend Mikey makes me tea and my throat is feeling better, thanks for asking. We’re waiting for the Arsenal football game to start — it is on at 11 a.m. Our next door neighbor, who is a baker, is baking something that smells like cinnamon and melted butter. I love “over-smelling” what the baker next door or the chef across the hall are making. It’s one of my favorite parts of living in an apartment and always has been.
I’ve been laying on the couch doing nothing but drinking tea. I hate wasting my precious Sunday. I realized I’m feeling inexplicably angry? I am snapping at Mikey and haven’t lifted myself up to go make breakfast. My therapist and I talk about how my physical and mental stress (sore throat, Sunday Scaries) often puts me in impatient moods. It makes me feel weak and it’s probably better I keep to myself during these moments. Too bad, because my dad’s birthday dinner is tonight! Maybe I’ll kick this mood before then.
I’m up! I’m going to make myself eggs. But first, I walk my dog Bow and get coffee from the lobby (there’s a K-cup machine down there! It’s more used than my oven) and add some HAZELNUT MILK to it. We got a variety of nut (and one brown rice) milks sent to the office last week. I’d seen this brand at Whole Foods but wasn’t sure whether or not to buy it. IT IS SO, SO GOOD. Tastes like Nutella.
I add a few last minute outfit credits and a shopping bar to two Man Repeller stories. Shopping bars enable readers to “shop the story” more quickly and visually than they could if they had to click out to another site. I try to add different options of most pieces featured in a variety of fits and prices so the bar is relevant to everyone. Both stories I am working on are really good: one is by Pandora Sykes and discusses the misconceptions about “mom dressing” and the other is team MR’s First Day of School outfits in 2018. That story was fun to participate in and features some great new faces of our team. I personally loved Emma’s outfit. I need her pants.
It’s halftime. The game is 0-0 which doesn’t bode well for a pleasant Sunday (we are Arsenal fans and appreciate a big win). I put my jersey on.
I am drooling over a necklace by @timeless.pearly that popped up on my Instagram feed yesterday. I’ve been wanting a rainbow pearl necklace and this one is similar but has star beads which is so much more fun. Now I’m going to fall into an Instagram hole and add a bunch into the @MRInMyCart queue. GOOD THINGS COMING TO YOUR FEED !
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Sports are so weird and I get why fans participate in the hysteria. We (and by that, I mean Arsenal) just scored two goals within minutes after halftime and my Sunday Scaries have completely disappeared for a moment. I’m also highly caffeinated. I feel real happiness, a sense of pride and excitement. Maybe I’ll go shopping later and reward myself for a win I took absolutely no part in other than with hope and my jersey!
I’m going to the gym to lift weights with Mikey, who likes to train me. He goes every day. I go never, but working out does lift one’s mood, so let’s see how this goes.
There is no cellular service at the gym. Just weights, equipment, patience and my intense craving for waffles.
After showering I decide to do a sheet mask. The Chillhouse team does a “Sunday Self-Care” series on their Instagram and the people featured always seem quite literally chill. I want to be chill! I open my drawer of lotions and potions — mostly one-off samples I’ve received — and choose Kiehl’s Instant Renewal Concentrate Mask. It’s a rubbery, mustard colored sheet mask and it gives me a cool refreshing sensation. It’s only a 10-minute mask, which is great because I don’t have the patience for anything longer. What if I want a snack? You can’t each a snack with these things on. By the way, I have dry skin prone to random breakouts if anyone has amazing skincare recommendations!
My friend Ellie and I text and plan to chat in 15 minutes. I never have phone conversations because I get distracted. She moved to L.A. earlier in the summer and we try to talk once a week. It’s like a therapy session. I put on Bow’s leash and we head out to Domino Park (a new park by my apartment on the east river in Williamsburg, Brooklyn) so that I can talk while we walk and not be distracted by a piece of dust on the floor.
Ellie and I chat for an hour which is how long we usually talk. I talk about every aspect of my life that’s bothering me. In the show I mentioned, Maniac, the characters confront their darkest memories. It’s how therapy works or how talking with Ellie is. I confront things I try not to think about and wind up usually feeling refreshed and slightly less worked up. Talking to your best friend is also really relieving. You realize you have someone there who wants to be there. It makes you feel loved and accepted. I’m really tired now.
I go to Duane Reade for no reason. I call these my “Fake Errands” which I do when I want to keep busy.
I’m getting ready to go to my dad’s birthday dinner. Maybe I’ll do my hair? It’s still kind of wet. I never do my hair anymore. I used to do it every day, but it stopped being enjoyable, so I stopped.
We’re going to Galli in Soho and my sister who lives in D.C. is coming. My family is really close, but she and I are in particular. We weren’t close growing up — after the Barbie stage, we grew apart with different interests, but now I fancy her my advisor. I sure do have great women in my life.
It took me longer than expected to get ready. I changed my top nine times and seven of said tops were different camisoles. I decided upon a sheer Hanro cami, wide leg Eckhaus Latta pants, a vintage Gucci blazer from my grandma and white Aldo cowboy boots. My throat is very scratchy again and I didn’t have time to make tea. It feels so strange to be out of the house past 6 p.m. on a Sunday. Mikey and I usually go to the store around 4 p.m., get stuff to make dinner and then he tries to be zen while I worry that I didn’t do something for Monday. Here we are though, and I think I feel fine? Maybe departing from my safe routine will be good.
I forgot my dad’s gift and card. I’m the worst daughter. I’m here on the J at 6:42 p.m. on a Sunday having a nervous hot flash. Now I’m starting to worry if I locked the door to the balcony and imagine my dog getting stuck outside in the forecasted rain which is my go-to panic ever since we stopped using a crate.
I haven’t had a drink in weeks in an effort to be more energized, but I have a sip of wine and feel my body relax. My family is beautiful and I feel safe and warm.
We split a warm brownie for dessert and laughed and had a fun and care-free time. It felt like the trips we used to take as a family. With empty wine glasses and clear plates, it’s now Sunday way-late.
I made each family member take a photo with me outside the restaurant which was embarrassing for everyone as a giant party of well-dressed 20 or 30-somethings strolled in in their crystal encrusted pumps and blazers. I didn’t care! This was a really fun happy night with good food and good laughs. I could not be fuller and will hop into bed the second I am home.
I may have to record my Sundays from here on out.
Until next time!