Welcome to September’s Repell-o-Scopes! Also, welcome to me! For those of you who didn’t notice the change in byline, Amelia is taking a horoscope break. Upsetting, I know! But this is a better time than usual to introduce myself as her successor, since I am a Libra, and Libra season is ALMOST HERE! Pretty much all you need to know about me is that I’m Singaporean-American raised in China, own a super old dog named Grampa (actually he owns me) and have a weekly newsletter on true crime in Asia.

Also, I love bubble tea.

September is generally going to be a busy but fun time for all of you. We’ll have our Virgo half of the month, which is setting up the future to come, and the Libra half, which is for reaping the rewards! No surprise that the full moon in Aries on the 24th is called the Harvest Moon (also the name of a great video game).

Really hope you’ll love my interpretation of the skies. If you’re curious, I used this super cool interactive chart to figure out which way the planets were moving.

Aries

Isn’t it weird how sheep are known for going “mehhh” but Aries are known for being bombastic af? I guess that’s how you distinguish earth sheep from space sheep! Usually I recommend that people cuddle with any fluffy farm animals they might come across, but I fear for the life of anyone who gets in your way this September!

That’s right, sheeplets! This month’s skies are gonna be electric for you. So let’s start big picture: September is the end of Virgo season and the start of Libra season. Virgo season is all about getting your shit together, and Libra season is all about having that together-shit play out.

BONUS POINTS: Your ruling planet, Mars, went out of retrograde on August 27th. We can all finally move forward with our lives!

Since you guys are so wham! bam! about everything, you will have the actual energy to go through with reupholstering life. BUT! There are some things you need to be aware of: September 6th – 10th is gonna make you feel weird. The moon starts off opposing Mars while also being void-of-course (an astrology term that would take too long to explain so you’ll have to just trust me), which means you’ll feel torn and flip-floppy about some kind of project or plan. The 10th is when the moon hits a better angle with Mars (that’s a trine, for astro-nerds!) so you’ll be more settled then.

It’s still a bad idea to start a long-term thing (be it romantic, professional, etc.) until maybe late September. For now, I recommend working on very small tasks in succession. The 10th is also when Mars moves into Aquarius! Which is gonna feel like a video game power-up for you.

On September 24th, the full moon will be in Aries. This is when your deepest emotions will start to rev up. Usually I would be wary of suggesting people pursue romance when this happens, in case they come on toooooo strong…but Libra season could have the effect of making your romantic appeals more balanced and charming!

Is the world ready for you? Who cares! It’s time to knock any obstacles out of the way with your ginormous pointy horns. Unless the obstacles are people. I do not condone violence. Just sort of gently push the living, breathing obstacles to the side.

Taurus

MOO are gonna love September (get it?). Scanning the skies on your behalf, my personal prediction is that you have a very introspective month ahead. Add some chill stuff to your schedule. Want to learn how to meditate? Paint? Do aerial yoga? Time to hit up Groupon!

Come to think of it, learning aerial yoga is not a bad idea for the second half of September — Libra is an air sign, after all! But writhing around in ribbons while suspended in space is not what September should be about for you (although if it is, no disrespect).

On the surface, it seems like pretty smooth sailing. Your very grounded self complements the rest of Virgo season (that’s until the 23rd of September). Tauruses and Virgos are both extremely practical, so you may find yourself effectively reorganizing your work life.

Butt you need to keep Uranus in mind (I’m 12). Uranus — which has been in Taurus since May! — turned retrograde in August. So that whole reorganizing thing may not feel comfortable. In fact, Uranus in retrograde is the unstoppable force meeting your immovable object: You will continue to be forced to stare deeeep inside yourself, the way you do after you insist on still eating Chipotle during another E. coli outbreak, get sick and then look at yourself in the mirror and think, I need to reassess my priorities.

If you’ve been unsure about a daily routine, change it up. Could be something as small as working out at night versus during the day; could be as big as starting Whole 30 (which would be life-altering for me personally).

But what of Libra season, you ask? Well, both you and Libra share Venus as a ruling planet. Plan some social engagements for September 23rd onward, and you’re going to be a sparkling star at whatever party you attend. Plus, Venus will be entering Scorpio on September 9th, which is going to add some spice to your love life. You might feel more frisky than usual, Taurus. If that thing you’re thinking of changing is in the bedroom…well, Uranus made you do it.

Gemini

OMG — twinning! At least, I wish I could be twinning with you this September, because you are going to be a BEAST in your social and work life.

As we know, September is the end of Virgo season and beginning of Libra season. You’re lucky enough that Mercury — your ruling planet — is going to match that transition to some extent. Mercury is entering Virgo on September 9th and entering Libra on September 21st.

But that’s just words! What does it mean? Well — it kinda does mean words. See, Mercury is known as THE MESSENGER. It’s why you’re so dope at chatting people up (in every sense — not just flirting!). Mercury, a.k.a. YOU, will be super-powered in communication skills this month.

The ideal time to ask for a raise is right after September 29th, IMO. That’s when the moon enters Gemini, which is good for demonstrating your multi-tasking abilities. This is different from the full moon, by the way, which is on the 24th in Aries. That is about short-term decisions, so…if you want a bonus instead, maybe do it then?

Seeing as Virgo season is about fixer-upper-ing your universe, you’ll find that your personal overhauling will come easier than you anticipated. You might actually have a little toooo much energy up until Mercury moves into Libra on the 21st? Virgo can be kind of a perfectionist, so try to be aware that you’re not tipping too far in that direction.

Maybe put a post-it on your laptop and scribble “CHILL OUT” on it. It’ll remind you to take a moment to collect yourself. Libra, of course, is about ensuring whatever happens in Virgo will stay on track. So you’ll probs be fine after that.

If you’ve been taking a break from the disaster that is the dating scene in your city (I don’t need the stars to predict that it’s a disaster for everyone), you can probably muster up the strength to start hitting the apps again. Virgo might make you picky, but it’s better to have standards than not! The sun enters Libra on September 23rd, so it should be easier to meet people IRL after that. You’re gonna charm the pants off everyone. Business as usual, am I right?

Cancer

Hello my sensitive little Cancer babies! No need to click your pincers in frustration this September. No need to scuttle anywhere in fear! There are zero planets transiting your sign this month, which makes your chart a lot easier to manage. Generally, all we need to do is monitor what the moon — your ruling “planet” — is doing. I know you guys get easily overwhelmed by the waves of life, and finally! It’s one thing at a time!

The moon is going to pop into your sign from September 4th to 6th. The moon in Cancer indicates home life stuff, so I recommend whipping out the good ol’ dustpan during these two days. Sounds kinda boring on paper, but Cancers deal with so much emotionally that this physical activity is probably a relief!

It’s kind of perfect, too, because this is happening during Virgo season. And we all know that that’s about cleaning absolutely everything up — physically and mentally.

Virgo Time = Your Inner Life Is Getting A Wipe-Down Time! Put all those frustrations with yourself into the trash. Use your mental vacuum to suck up how mad your boss makes you. Recycle your leftover feelings for your ex and craft them into organic, fair-trade, ethically sourced L-O-V-E for someone or something else.

The sun enters Libra on September 23rd, which is about finding balance in the aftermath of your Virgo changes. But this doesn’t mean you should hit snooze on life. September 24th is when the full moon enters Aries. A full moon in Aries says we should be a little reckless.

Some suggestions: You’ve done amazing at work and cleared up your schedule cause you’re a boss. TAKE A SPONTANEOUS WEEKEND TRIP! SNEAK INTO A HOTEL POOL AND ORDER THE OVERPRICED DRINKS FROM THE SWIM-UP BAR!

That’s my sincere, astrologer advice.

Leo

RAWR. In Lion, that means SEIZE THE FREAKING DAY. September is starting off with a bang for you, because Mercury is going to be in your sign until September 5th.

Yeah, you have FIVE DAYS with the energy for going full throttle. I mean, it’s not like you guys have a problem with being super outgoing to begin with, but Mercury — the Chatty Cathy of the planets — will give you supernatural abilities in communication skills. Flirt up a storm! Make it rain! Can’t think of any other weather-related activities re: Mercury! Ahh!

Having said all that, your ruling planet is the SUN (okay, I know it’s not a planet, it’s just called that in astrology, do NOT @ me). This means that you feel whatever season it is in Extreme Mode. September has two signs you’ll feel most intensely: Virgo until September 23rd and Libra from then onward.

During Virgo’s reign, you Leos need to stomp ahead with whatever plans you had. You’ll feel an extra determination to get it DONE! Virgo can bring out the perfectionist in us, so I have no doubt that whatever you bring to the table — whether it’s werk related or lurve related — will be on point.

You’re going to be so damn good at planning dates this month, I’ll need all of you to slide into my DMs. Before Libra, you’ll be able to plan very extra romantic days — like taking someone to a park, then a haunted house, then skydiving, then landing in a field with flowers that spell out “Marry Me!” But after Libra, you’ll be able to intensely charm anyone with something as simple as…IDK, getting halal from a cart? Buying someone a fudge sundae from McDonald’s? Sitting across from someone on a couch and making intense eye contact? All are romantic in their own ways if you ask me.

The only date I’d tell you to be super aware of is September 24th, which is the Aries Full Moon. Aries Full Moon wants us to take on short-term stuff, be passionate, pounce onto things.

You’re a lion, though. That should be pretty easy for you.

Virgo

Oh hi there, Virgo! It is your time to shine. The next few weeks are all about YOU. You get a double dose of the energy that you already find present in yourself, so make sure that you don’t go overboard: Don’t set your standards too high, don’t be too rigid in your organizing, don’t be too helpful to everyone else at risk of neglecting yourself. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm!

I think the key dates for you to pay attention to in September are the 9th and the 10th. This is the most “complicated” your chart gets, in my opinion. You have the Sun in your sign (duh), but also the moon and Mercury. These are the only two days of September that the moon is in your sign AND it just so happens that it’s a new moon.

The new moon isn’t just a book in the Twilight series, the new moon in Virgo is asking you to start something and actually commit to it. Is there a side project you want to work on? A work goal you’ve been dying to hit? The 9th and 10th are the days you should begin your journey in doing so.

And what’s the Mercury thing about? Well, Mercury officially comes into Virgo on September 5th, and it’s gonna stay there until September 21st. Mercury is also your ruling planet, which means that this time it’s going to give you a triple-ish dosage of that Virgo goodness. So yeah, the 9th and 10th are gonna be intensely YOU.

It happens that Virgo rules the 6th House, which can indicate health and personal wellbeing. So, back to the 9th and 10th again, that’s a really good time to try new recipes or finally give therapy a try.

It’ll be better for you to deal with lovey-dovey stuff once Libra season starts on the 23rd, if only because the amount of concentrated Virgo energy beforehand might make you too inflexible when it comes to dating. Libra should balance that out and also give you more social oomph!

Libra

Greetings, fellow Libras! We may be the token inanimate objects of the zodiac, but that doesn’t mean that we’re not full of life. The opposite, actually — we’re known for being fun as hell to hang out with.

And, yes, September 23rd is when the sun comes to our door, says hi to our parents, gives us a corsage, and takes us to prom. And we will be crowned Prom King and Queen.

We won’t just be seen during Libra season; we have some great stuff going on in Virgo season as well! Venus is going to be in our sign until September 9th, which means we have the opportunity to be more charming than usual (you can’t tell I’m biased, right?). Especially when it comes to romance, so schedule all your September dates before the 9th.

The moon will be in Libra from the 11th to the 12th, which shoooould be a good time for you to count all the chicken eggs you want to incubate in Virgo before you let them hatch in Libra. If that makes sense. A.k.a., start a bullet journal. Prompt yourself to get it together.

Now, it isn’t a bad idea to schedule romantic dates after the 21st. But since that’s when Mercury comes into Libra — the prince of communication — you would also do well to schedule networking dates, or maybe conversations with friends you haven’t seen in a while. The words will flow out of your mouth like the rain that plagued New York City the last two months. Seriously, thank GOD it’s dry again.

Now, the full moon is happening in Aries while the sun is in Libra. This is also known as the Harvest Moon. It takes place on the fall equinox, which signals our transition from summer into, you guessed it, fall. The Harvest Moon wants us to get the results of what we’ve been working on in the past, but since Aries is a sign that wants us to try new things, I wouldn’t be surprised if the fruits of our labor take us directly into Phase 2 of our Master Plan.

What’s the Libran Master Plan, you ask? IDK, probably world domination.

Scorpio

I happen to think that scorpions are very cute animals, and screw anyone who thinks otherwise. I freaking love Scorpios! You are the fiery, passionate icons of the zodiac. Anyone knows that time spent with you is going to be a ride.

You’re going to have a rollicking time this September. Venus, the planet of love, being a fashionista and having dope makeup, is going to enter Scorpio on September 9th. You guys are infamous for your prowess in rrromance (I am rolling my “r”), and Venus is going to give you an edge in that department. I mean, not like you need one. But STILL.

Friends and lovers — new and old — are going to be crawling over each other to get to you. It is going to be like that scene in World War Z where all the zombies are trying to jump over a wall. But instead of going to murder Brad Pitt, they just wanna grab cocktails or bubble tea. This is especially the case during Libra’s bit of September, which is from the 23rd onward. Venus rules Libra!

Scorpio can have a hard time with Virgo energy, which is what starts off September for you. This is because Virgo is a bit more organized and perfectionist. I don’t think you should find it limiting, though! Use this chance to make your insane energy work for the practical parts of your life.

Aaaaand finally, you’ll obviously want to know what’s up with the full moon in Aries. You and Aries share Mars as a ruling planet, so I’m guessing you’ll feel this moon stronger than the other signs might. It encourages us to stay strong in the face of new challenges. So get your poison tails ready to defend against whatever September 24th throws your way!

Sagittarius

Why does it always take me three tries to spell Sagittarius right? I can never remember where the double letter goes…but I’m sure you won’t hold that against me, since Sags are the happy-go-lucky delights of the zodiac.

If we were at a boring wedding, you guys would be the child who runs into the middle of the aisle and starts pretending they’re a plane. And no one cares because everyone likes being around you. And also everyone wishes they could do that at a wedding and not get in trouble.

You guys are of the 9th House. What’s that, you ask? The House that represents all the brainy stuff in life. Not like calculus — more like ethics, philosophy, etc. Astrology? 👀

People might approach you this Virgo season for thoughts and advice. They’re all trying to clean up their acts! But don’t forget to let yourself do work for you, too. This is a perfect opportunity to focus on details. You often have your head in the clouds, and Virgo is here to bring. you. down. to. EARTH.

You must resist the fact that your ruling planet, Jupiter, is going to be in Scorpio. Scorpio has that wild energy, which is going to make you feel a little stir crazy. You’ll want to be outside! Wander lonely as a cloud like Wordsworth! Read Keats and Yeats (which don’t rhyme, by the way) and charge $1 to write poetry on a typewriter for passersbys in Central Park.

BUT TRY TO STAY FOCUSED. This Virgo period is a unique chance for you to put all your adorable fluffy ducklings in a row, before we move on to Libra on September 23rd. That’s when you can go back to more intellectual, artsy, air-sign-y pursuits!

Capricorn

Time to put on your thinking Cap (lol) this month, cuties. There is a lot happening in your chart.

You have THREE planets that are hanging out in your vicinity this September. Lurking like a dude you went on a date with years ago but is for some reason still popping up in your “Viewed by” on Instagram stories. That’s Saturn, Pluto and Mars. So we have a lot to cover.

First of all, Mars is only going to be in Capricorn until September 10th. Mars is about aggressive energy, which can be both good and bad! Since it’s appearing during Virgo season, I would recommend taking the time in this first week of September to harness that Mars-power and put it into being a lil’ worker bee. September 17th is when the moon enters Virgo, so that will be a good day to show people what you can do at the office. Unless what you can do is burp the alphabet or something, which might not be what you want to showcase in a work environment…

Saturn is going to be retrograde in your sign until September 5th, when it will become a kind of circus ringmaster for you. It has rings, so literally as well as figuratively! It’s going to demand that you have discipline, which I think should help you with the whole Virgo-is-a-pragmatic-perfectionist stuff. Just be careful not to be toooo rigid!

Pluto is, alas, retrograde until September 29th. I say alas because most people fear retrogrades, but honestly, don’t fear anything! Capricorns are pretty damn good at introspection, and this is exactly what Pluto is asking you to do. Libra season starts on September 23rd, which is a more social time compared to Virgo. So September 30th might be a good time to spread your wings and show people how you have transformed into a beautiful butterfly-goat!

For all my Capricorns in lurve and looking for lurve, I’m gonna have to ask you to lower your standards juuuuust a smidge while Virgo is doing her thing. You’re super serious about relationships, which I adore about you, but don’t forget that you’re supposed to have fun too!

Aquarius

Water-bearers, have you noticed a trembling in your arms? Droplets of metaphorical liquid spilling everywhere? Your cup runneth-ing over, but in the bad way?

That’s because Mars has been in Aquarius from May up until August 12th, when it moved its ass over to Capricorn. Mars is a planet that’s energetic and masculine, and it being in retrograde means it likely clashed with your whimsical nature. It’s possible that you bossed it out and harnessed those weird vibrations to charge full steam ahead, but don’t fret if you found the last few months anxiety-inducing.

I actually got my senior dog reiki, because he is an Aquarius and seemed jittery and kept slapping me in the face with his drooly toys in the middle of night. Yes, pet reiki is a thing. I recommend Esther.

But here’s where it gets weird — Mars is coming BACK to you from Capricorn on September 10th. As the philosopher Missy Elliot might say, the planet is flipping it and reversing it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Well, it means that the Mars energy is probably going to give you an extra spark of electricity. Let’s take a moment to figure out where the energy is gonna go in Virgo and Libra season.

Aquarius is partnered with the Eleventh House, which is considered the Haus of BFFs, the Haus of Ur Peeps, the Haus of Collective Action. Virgo is all about cleansing and getting organized. It’ll be good to focus on work stuff then, so perhaps you should…who knows, start a union at your office?

The Aries full moon is arriving just as Libra is (September 23rd to 24th), which suggests that you should see a change in your social life. Do you need to break away from a toxic friend group? Have you been a monster to a close friend and need to check yourself? Us Air Signs can blow as warm as the 100-degree 4/5/6 platform in Union Square (WTF?!) or as cold as the air conditioning in a male-dominated office.

Pisces

Hi fishies! Good news! You are halfway through Neptune’s cycle in your sign. It’ll be out by 2026! Actually, it’s not really good or bad news. All it means is that you’ve had to be more spiritual, introspective and curious than you already are.

Neptune is your ruling planet. It’s all about transition for the next eight years (omg). I mean, if you aren’t a super grounded person to begin with, I can only imagine your life’s recent emotional Whiplash (dir. Damien Chazelle, 2014). But it doesn’t have to be this way! See, Neptune is in retrograde in your sign this September. I know retrogrades sound scary, but Neptune’s version of it is about looking for hidden messages, secrets and different ways to interpret situations.

Basically, you need to Nancy Drew your life right now. Inner, outer, whatever! The first half of September is the realm of Virgo, which makes me think you should ask yourself if there’s a method of fixing something in your life that you haven’t tried before. Virgo is the Excel spreadsheet of the zodiac, so maybe you want to try a different way to take notes at school. Maybe tell your supervisor at work that NO, goddamnit, THIS IS A BETTER WAY TO FILE PAPERS. Except less aggressive.

The second half of September belongs to Libra, which is more focused on aesthetics and relationships. GET OFF TINDER AND DOWNLOAD SOME OTHER APP. OR DELETE THE APP YOU USE AND GET BACK ON TINDER. OR MEET PEOPLE IRL. I’ll stop shouting now.

Is there something you’ve been trying to figure out about your friendships or family dynamic? I guarantee that you will be able to get to the bottom of this mystery.

My very final note for you all is to be wary of September 25th. Not only is it MY BIRTHDAY — which, wait, you don’t have to be wary of that, it’s awesome — but you might feel really lethargic! This is because Chiron (an asteroid) is in retrograde in your sign. When it spins backwards, it makes you even more in-yourself than usual.

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej. 

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