My Instagram Habits Are More Revealing Than My Diary
04.23.18

Centuries from now, when my bookmarks folder on Instagram is inevitably unearthed in an archaeological dig of cyberspace, I wonder what exactly it will convey about me. That I had a career in fashion? Perhaps. That I love bright colors and patterns more than I love my own earlobes? Maybe. That I have a fascination with bathtubs and buttocks? Ding ding ding!

I’m not even a little bit kidding. Strap on your goggles, fasten your belt buckles, step into your waterproof boots and wade with me into the kiddie pool of various things I’ve “saved” on Instagram that may or may not be a window into my soul. Once you’ve finished scrolling, please do feel free to leave behind a comment telling me whether I’m normal or weird or both.

Outfits I Want to Copy

I never considered the otherworldly magic of matching your trousers to your button-down to your bucket hat until I saw this photo from an editorial in i-D Spain. I don’t think I can responsibly recreate the outfit before finding shoes with orange toe caps, though, so let me know if you’ve seen any.

Telling @_gabrizelle how to style 💅🏻

A post shared by becca haeger (@beccahaeger) on

I discovered Becca’s Instagram through the MARS account because she models their accessories a lot, and I promptly spent an hour rabbit-holing through her various postings. She’s one of those Instagram users who conveys an air of completely captivating authenticity wherein even her unpolished or slightly blurry photos (see above) are utterly aesthetically pleasing. I fell particularly in lust with this outfit because it’s not overly complex and yet says so much about personal style.

Seeberger Brothers 1930 // #currentmood

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High-waist, belted Bermuda shorts rendered in couch-print fabric and paired with a matching duster coat and bikini top are truly all I want to wear once the weather starts consistently hovering about 70 degrees. Also her shoes!! I didn’t realize I could love a combination of clog and Mary Jane so dang much.

Either And is a content creation studio that puts out shopable editorials featuring stuff from cool independent designers, and its Instagram feed is basically endless inspiration for my eyeballs. I’ve taken a particular fancy to this outfit because it’s singlehandedly convinced me I need to acquire a strapless, ankle-length khaki dress and belt it with a pearl buckle as soon as possible.

White Blouses Worth Their Weight in Summer Daydreams

#currentmood //

A post shared by C H O O H A (@momoochoo) on

Thanks to visionaries like Maison Cleo and Courtyard L.A., white blouse mania is still going strong. I bookmarked this one because it encapsulates the version of myself I want to portray this summer so perfectly.

^A dramatically sheer white blouse layered over a glitter bandeau and lacy underwear is the perfect black tie ensemble for a hot summer night. Agree or disagree?

Albany ! has ! good ! ramen ! 🍜

A post shared by imani (@champagnemani) on

Hey look! It’s Man Repeller Editorial Intern Imani Randolph sporting a chic and crinkly white blouse! (I’m pretending to be surprised so I don’t seem like a creep but to be honest I stalk her Instagram for style inspiration all the time OKAY I CONFESS.)

Isabelle Adjani in Nosferatu, 1979

A post shared by Vintage Inspiration (@wardrobedept) on

THIS BLOUSE IS PERFECT AND IF I CAN’T FIND ONE LIKE IT I WILL SEW IT MYSELF.

Bathtub Escapes For the Bathtub-Deprived

Sting’s bath tub @theofficialsting

A post shared by Miles Redd (@milesredd) on

I’m a bath person through and through, and climbing in a large basin filled with hot water is one of my most preferred simple luxuries in life. For the past two-and-a-half years I’ve lived in apartments where I cannot partake in this activity, and I think the deprivation is starting to have a powerful effect on my brain because I can’t stop bookmarking photos of bathtubs on Instagram — like this one, which happens to belong to Sting.

Pink onyx bath via @johannestorpestudios @carawoodhouseinteriors April 2018 💕

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And this one! Which looks like an incredibly chic opportunity to re-enter the womb.

💕 V @dream_casa

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I would spend hours in this one, with or without rose petals, having imaginary conversations with all my fellow naked ladies.

C'est joli chez vous #3615MaisonNue

A post shared by Maison Nue (@maisonnue) on

In case you were wondering what the inside of my brain would look like in bathroom form…

Girls Eating (and Not Eating) Ice Cream

#summer come back! 🍦

A post shared by PAMPLEMOUSSE New York (@pamplemousseny) on

I didn’t start collecting photos of girls eating ice cream on purpose, but one day I looked in my bookmarks folder and noticed I had accumulated quite a substantial number of them. The scoop pictured above looks like vanilla, but I’m equally interested in the orange sherbet dress.

I think I ate that in less than 7 minutes

A post shared by SALEM (@salemmitchell) on

A very important double scoop moment courtesy of Salem Mitchell, whom I follow for more reasons than just ice cream as she is a cool teen through and through (even though I think she recently turned 20).

Shooting day with this little squirrel ⭐️

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Oh, to be in possession of a perfectly-sized serving of raspberry sorbet whilst wearing a corduroy skirt and gazing into a store window.

Isabelle Huppert in The Lacemaker is late sept mood ☺️😋

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I’ve never seen The Lacemaker but I love this photo of Isabelle Huppert juggling cones.

34 degrees and counting .. #meltinginmilan

A post shared by Alexandra Carl (@alexcarl) on

And last but not least, a fun new spa treatment.

The Aforementioned Buttocks, as Promised

I’ve had a running joke with Haley that my new aesthetic is “adult baby cowboy,” which is why I ethically had to bookmark the above photo. What’s more “adult baby cowboy” than a cotton tank, cowboy boots and a bare bum??

Petites fesses mignonnes 🍀 #sachavandorssen rg @zanzaneyewear #3615MaisonNue

A post shared by Maison Nue (@maisonnue) on

If you stare at a butt for too long, it will slowly but surely start to look like a lovely and unformed lump of clay. This photo taught me that.

Last day of July! #summerofme

A post shared by Maria Echeverri (@misinga) on

I doubt this is what happens on most nude beaches, but it’s a nice fantasy huh?

Fantastic Frizz and Dramatic Curls

#Obsessed with Young Nicole Kidman #bold #curly #glowup #wow

A post shared by Sarah Ramos (@saraheramos) on

Like Sarah Ramos, I am also #obsessed with Young Nicole Kidman, specifically the mop of tightly-coiled ringlets she sported once upon a time. I’ve recently noticed the frequency with which I bookmark photos of women crowned in a significant accumulation of frizz, probably because for much of my life I hated my very frizz-prone curls and only in the last few years have I come to not only accept them but embrace them. Seeing other women doing the same has played no small role in that mental evolution.

@jackie_nickerson for dazed magazine cover in @mowalola

A post shared by Solange (@saintrecords) on

Solange changes up her hair a lot, and this bleach-blonde halo is her latest ‘do. She is a living testament to the fact that hair is just as powerful of an accessory as a shoe or a statement earring. I’ve bookmarked the entirety of her new editorial in Dazed for that reason alone.

Sarah, Provincetown, Massachusetts, 1981.

A post shared by Joel Meyerowitz (@joel_meyerowitz) on

Joel Meyerowitz is famous for his street photography, capturing jubilant tableaux of bustling passersby and sun-drenched sidewalks, but I have a particular fondness for the intimate, up-close portraits he’s taken of people at the beach like this one. It makes me want to brush out my curls and part them down the middle immediately.

Happy Birthday @dianaross 🎂🎊🎁🎉🎈

A post shared by Blacc Girl Daily (@blaccgirldaily) on

Diana Ross’s dramatic mane never ceases to make me wish mine was two feet longer. I also wouldn’t mind acquiring a sateen leotard and leggings.

I love this photo because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen of Kate Moss with frizzy hair. If there are others out there I don’t know about, please alert me posthaste.

So what’s your verdict on my soul? Are your eyes hungry for ice cream? Let’s discuss.

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