You know that “icebreaker” question where you’re asked which five people you’d invite to a hypothetical fantasy dinner party? I’ve always hated trying to answer that. Even after four different jobs, three different schools and two different sleepaway camp experiences (i.e. fertile ground for icebreakers), I have yet to perfect my hypothetical fantasy dinner party list.
Instead, I wish someone would ask me the names of five people whose closets I would like to hypothetically raid. That list has been perfected for years: Diana Ross, Patricia Field, Donna Summer, Miss Piggy and Jenny Lyons.
To clarify: these are the names of five people whose closets I would like to hypothetically raid in my wildest fantasies (which is why I included a muppet). Imagine my surprise, then, when I learned I could raid one of their closets FOR REAL.
Let that information sink in. Okay. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Trick question, because I’m thinking about two things and one of them is lunch, but I’m also thinking about how I need to approach this unprecedented opportunity with great strategy and care, especially since a ton of her stuff has already sold out and I’m fully panicking as a result. Below, please find the fruits of my diligence: an artfully curated list of the seven best things to shop from the proffered contents of her wardrobe, accompanied by Jenna Lyons-inspired outfit ideas to wear them with because WHEN IN ROME, you know?
To be worn with patterned trousers and a trench coat draped around your shoulders like a cape. None of that arms-in-sleeves business allowed.
To be worn with a feathered, floor-length ball skirt, naturally.
To be worn with a crisp white button down for ultimate day-to-night satisfaction.
To be worn with a neon orange crewneck t-shirt.
To be worn with a tuxedo shirt, a bow moonlighting as a bowtie and thick-rimmed glasses.
To be worn with a brooch-adorned cargo vest.
To be worn with metallic pants and a striped boat neck top.
Tell me what you’re eyeing, and then tell me the five people whose closets YOU would want to raid.
Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/GC Images via Getty Images.