Of all the true meltdowns I’ve ever had over clothes  — at age 4, when an outfit my mom wanted me to wear “didn’t match”; a very specific Halloween, where I was furious about the unwanted addition of a forced-upon-me turtleneck; one winter break as a college sophomore, when I found that none of my high school clothes fit (literally and metaphorically) — my dramatic hyperbolic rhetoric that “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR” was always tied to “I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM RIGHT NOW.”

As with most reflections, it’s much easier to recognize in hindsight what I was going through at the time: in these cases, a scramble from baby to kid-hood, a longing for just a taste of independence, a pivotal transition through uncharted young adult-ish territory. Of course, it wasn’t always so deep. Former Friday night struggles to find “going out outfits” I felt “hot” in were likely not manifestations of my inner desire to grab hold of the bounding journey beneath me, but it does make sense that for the stretches of days I felt the most like myself once dressed — those periods of time where putting on clothes felt blissfully effortless, I was in a more comfortable place.

With my 30th birthday on the imminent horizon, I have been able to identify, through an unprecedented lens of present-tense self-awareness, that I am very much changing — and therefore bits of my style must be changing, too. In fact, I anticipated this would happen (perhaps I felt a low rumbling, like a bird before an earthquake) and tried to get ahead of it by way of a few closet cleanings. It helped, but it also left me with holes in my wardrobe. I no longer have a shoe for every dress, a pair of pants for every boot. There were mornings this sent me into momentary tailspins, where I trashed my room with clothes because I couldn’t find the solution to make an outfit in my head come to on-body fruition. (On those days, it was my room rather than my outfit that told the story of how I felt.)

To stay organized through the chaos, I took photos of my outfits over the course of a month, from Paris Fashion Week to this otherwise unremarkable Friday, to start keeping track of outfits that didn’t send me spiraling.

When I finished, I realized that what I had in front of me was a book of best-practices for the me I think I’m becoming. On days where I had more time, those holes I mentioned encouraged me to think more creatively in terms of how I put things together. They encouraged me to take more risks, and removed the feeling of defeat I used to experience when an experimental combination of shapes or colors didn’t work. The exercise as a whole made me think more thoughtfully about what I actually want to wear. I started to ask myself questions like, Do I actually feel good in this shirt, or was it hanging in a convenient location? Do I really like these shoes, or are they trendy? Does this coat flatter me, or was it a label-blind impulse buy at a sample sale? I already know what my style is; the core pieces are there. Starting to answer these questions has helped me get more and more clear on what pieces contribute to the overall picture.

As with any existential crisis, none of this was ultimately about the things — the shoes, the pants, the coats. It was about the person wearing them. I’m still figuring out what all of this says about what’s “me,” and who I am right now, but I think I’m closer than I’ve ever been. That feels new.

Photos via Amelia Diamond.

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  • I love Day 19!! That coat!!

  • Adrianna

    Day 7 – now I know how to wear a similar striped blouse that was gifted to me but fits a little funny

  • grace

    i have to say amelia, if your clothes say anthing about who you are, it’s that you most definitely no longer identify with the state of california

    • Amelia Diamond

      I identify with the state of California internally!! But re: all the cable knits + plaids, even while growing up in SF (apart from my punk wannabe phase) my style leaned (or wanted to lean) in that New England-as-an-aesthetic direction.

      • Adrianna

        I was shook when I found out you were not from New England

    • Kimberley Boehm

      Once a Californian always a Californian. Amelia, it’s in the way you are elegantly practical. I’m third generation Californian and I spent 30 years on the East Coast—most recently in Brooklyn. Cedric Charlier is that sort of elegant and practical. My favorite new designer. And of course, those boots. Loved this piece.

      • Amelia Diamond

        where in CA!!

  • Kay

    Day 25, I fully thought that was a pleated scarf at first glance- there needs to be pleated scarves!!!! Has anyone seen these anywhere?

  • Stephanie

    Great visual diary of your month! I’ve done something similar, and go back treating it as a virtual closet sometimes when I’m uninspired. Also, I’m sure you hear this all the time but you have amazing hair!

  • Kathleen FitzPatrick

    Very nice series of outfits.

  • ByeBeckz

    You look straight out of Ralph Lauren ad in most of these outfits- so great. Also haven’t been to gap since I was maybe 10- but that jacket on Day 19 looked like a heavenly cloud?!

  • Caroline Christianson

    The Gap coat is so you wowowowow

  • there are 2 types of Blog Readers:
    1. those that read the photo captions,
    2. those that do not.

    I’m proud to be #1. Also, ‘who actually wears a sweater like that?’
    hahahaha yesssssss

    • Brit

      I used to read the captions before the new slideshow format! 🙁 Hopefully it’s fixed soon so I can go back to being a #1!

      • Amelia Diamond

        we are fixing it!!

  • Allison Russo

    that green blazer, i die

  • M

    Looooong time reader, first time commenter: I might be the only one left (though I have a sneaking suspicion probably not), but I canNOT with the new slideshow format. I want to read the caption and see the full photo but it is a struggle and a half on both my iPhone7 and my computer. I get to the point where the caption won’t slide back down no matter where I tap/click and I give up completely. So sad. Would rather scroll through a really long post than fuss with the slideshow mess. That said, I love this site dearly and am only leaving this grouchy comment because I want to soak up every ounce of the fab content. Xx.

    • ByeBeckz

      Yes! This slideshow took a solid 20 mins to get through just like every single one in this new format has. It’s also SO UNAESTHETICALLY PLEASING. Reminds me of the internet in the early days of blogging/any old website- but same, I still suffer through it for now bc MR <3

      • Haley Nahman

        Bless you, it’s being fixed!

        • ByeBeckz

          Thank you for responding!

    • Serious question: how do you get the caption to minimize once you’ve read it? I keep clicking the X but it exits me out of the whole damn thing! Must. See. Every. Outfit!!!!

      • Haley Nahman

        To hide the caption, you click the same “read more” arrow you clicked to reveal the caption.

        • OMG thank you! I don’t know how I didn’t see that before…
          Friday brain amirite?

        • Andrea

          Yes, but the arrow disappears on my phone so I can’t click it to tuck it away again!

    • Haley Nahman

      I’m so sorry it’s getting fixed, will be changed by next week!

    • Kayla Soufer

      I was thinking the same thing when reading this. The slideshow option makes the photos so small I find myself always zooming into the photos!

      • Jana Nysten

        Did not have that problem at all?! Maybe update your software. Cause I remember having that in the past. Do you have the latest iOS?! For me that made the trick..

    • Becky McNamara

      It doesn’t work for me either! I’m on Chrome x

  • Username

    how tall is amelia?

  • Kiks

    Day 3 (including the coat) is my personal absolute dream outfit. I died when you posted that on Insta.

    Love the sweater and plaid skirt combos. This is how I want to be dressed every single day of spring and fall. I’m so jealous of all your chunky knits. Might have to go buy the clearance one I was eyeing up this morning!

    There is nothing better than an outfit that feels perfectly you. I’ve been cleaning out my closet for the last few months and it feels so good to clear out the things that I no longer (or never really did) connect with.

  • Valerie Barahona

    Amelia love you where are your shelves from?

    • Amelia Diamond

      they’re they elfa (elva?) from The Container Store!

  • Hannah Betts

    Pictures not working on my iPhone, alas. Got stuck on 1. Now stuck on 2 indefinitely.

    • Amelia Diamond

      oof 2 is not a fun one to be stuck on indefinitely. cool hallway though!

  • Hil

    day 3 what a dream! ugh if only i lived a life where i could look like that every day

  • Jasmin

    Day 21 is so good!!

  • Nancy

    You wear a lot of pants (as we all do in this day and age and especially when it’s cold/gross out), but you seem to be happiest and most content with your outfit when it’s based on a skirt (or those Katharine Hepburn wide leg pants that you deemed “UES grandma”). Something I noticed that might make it easier to hack a pleasingly dressed up outfit.

    • Amelia Diamond

      I am very sick of JEANS, for sure. But also it’s the “easiest” :/ Excited for summer where I can give everything on my legs a full break!

  • Sarah

    I didn’t want this slideshow to end!!!

  • Owiredua

    I love this Aunt Gail, who seems lovely and clearly has the best taste in blazers!

  • Jana Nysten

    Recently, discussion over lunch with the girls…

    „So who‘s your Fav?“

    „Well… I love Haley for her brains… but she‘s deep shit“

    „I can tell, she‘s like you!!!“

    „Hm, what does that say about me?“

    „We love you girl, so you‘re alright…“

    „But clotheswise… I‘m team Amelia?!“

    „Like who is not?! Cause in real life – like not fashion blogger life – you cant just go with tons of color, tons of accessories, tons of earrings, wrist bands, bandanas, funky colored coats and mini bags, oversized and undersized – you get the point?“

    „So you say Amelia is boring?! Dare you!“

    „I’m not! I’m saying… Amelia‘s outfit kinda … is that thing that you pin and that you actually can replicate with the stuff you have… and dont feel awkward wearing it as it is agreeable to your boss and your girlfriends“ (Note that today‘s outfit is pretty much the jeans kitten heels and rose sweater ensemble… right?!)

    „Hm… agree… and she loves striped shirts… but so does Haley! And I! And I love the new In your cart conversations… did you ever think Harling would be so conservative?! But then again no…“

    „Ok, this is being a whole different story. Focus.“

    „Can’t.“

    „Ok, then learn from this article you‘re commenting on… PLAID is a thing. Looks great on Amelia. And the serious heavy knit person you are… get some! – and fast – cause maybe there will be spring… – and don’t feel bad about them jeans…“

    (Conversation taken pretty much from real life. Lunch provided by Allens Breakfast Club, including avocado, toast and a lot of eggs.(

    • Amelia Diamond

      haahah i love this conversation and would love to eat that lunch with you all at Allens!!

  • The last outfit’s blend of neutrals is 👌👌

  • Basil

    Day 24 is very Cher Horowitz, in the best way
    I think I may do the same thing. I’m in a very weird post partum dressing phase and don’t really feel like myself. I think capturing my outfits for a week or so (and the associated emotions) night he’ll

    • Amelia Diamond

      try it maybe? it was a bit like journaling

    • Olivia Lauren Hawk Moore

      When I was just starting my struggle with depression, I took photos (and some little notes) for a full month just to see how my outfits affected how I was feeling and it was really very helpful.

  • Kasey

    Cowboys boots again!

  • Lizlemon

    This could have gone on for another 25! I’ve pinned quite a bit to get me out of my own existential crisis.

  • Emmie

    disagree with you re. the baggy sweater in photo 9 – you look v. effing cool in it, but if you’re still not convinced i am more than happy to take it off your hands x

  • NikNak

    I love all of your skirt lewks! You look so comfy, but still put together.

  • Sundae

    I had an epiphany when I had to dress ‘defensively’ regularly. Networking events as a lawyer, without wanting to feel too corporate drone. I realised that my happy place clothing wise is elegant-chic. The elegant part is the silhouette and cut. Timeless but not boring or tired. Womanly. Generally my taste skews minimal. The chic part is the thing that elevates it and make it sharp and personal. Fabric, color, accessories, shoes – whatever.
    The formula is not groundbreaking I know, but when recalling my greatest hits when dressing for security, there was continuity, and awareness and relief!

  • “As with any existential crisis, none of this was ultimately about the things — the shoes, the pants, the coats. It was about the person wearing them” — okay this is such good advice!! I have a meltdown over my clothes at least once a year, sometimes twice, and it’s because I’ve been changing so much throughout my past four years at college. I guess I haven’t really thought about it like that, in the sense that my clothes are reflecting my changes as a person, but now this is the only way I want to think about it! For some reason I think it’s going to make me feel more comfortable getting dressed as I learn how to put more of myself into outfits, and mixing pieces of old and new style together.

  • Sarah

    WOW. I am in the same boat currently at 22. I can FEEL the change in my style… I am being more picky, I am trying to find a consistent style, and it doesn’t seem to exist currently. I have the constant urge to clean out the closet. I love this article & I may do this experiment myself. Thanks, Amelia!

  • Debika

    I don’t comment often as I’d like but my god I love all of these outfits.

  • Yasmin

    quick tip for look number 9, since i just fell in love with a similar combination: try a tinier belt, maybe even hide it under the sweater (puff it up above?) so it changes the silouette/ adds more structure? love your outfit, loved mine (should have taken a photo, didn’t, so here’s a crappy boomerang-screenshot since i just love this print (its’s an h&m dress) so comfy yet put together!
    greetings from Germany!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d13d59713809b6401a85005953da9f31d3b25a70ead13ed013f56252bbf0950.png