I’m In a Pampering Phase and I’m Ready to Talk About It
01.18.18

There is a radiator pipe by the door of my walnut-sized bathroom that keeps it a tropical 80 degrees at all times and warms up my robe, just like at a fancy spa. The womb-like atmosphere has made hanging out in the bathroom such a delight, an idea I had previously found bizarre: I’m not a bath-taker; if I want to lie down, I use a bed. I never understood why people kept reading material near the toilet, either. What’s the point of a couch, then?

Because it’s been so cold outside and the regulation of my studio’s heat has been nothing short of a learning journey, I have started to spend more time in the bathroom, literally just hanging out. I light a candle, put on a podcast, catch up on calls. It’s also encouraged me to try new things in the world of products that pamper — and get back into two that I had stopped using, purely because this summer I was like, “I’m busy! It’s too hot in here! Who has time to rub her face for ten minutes each morning!”

So, for the sake of sharing recommendations among friends like a one-woman Yelp!, here are five things I’ve either discovered, or re-discovered, as a direct result of me and my bathroom’s newfound romance.

1. The Aquis Lisse Luxe Hair Turban

From the brand’s website: “Our Lisse Luxe Hair Turbans are made with AQUITEX, an innovative fabric woven from ultra-fine fibers to create a lightweight material with superior water-wicking capabilities that is gentle on your hair. Designed for fine, delicate, and/or thinning hair, and for all hair lengths, our Lisse Luxe Turbans quickly and gently dry strands to a damp stage, with less friction, to minimize frizz and damage – all hands-free.”

I did not buy this on my own accord; someone sent this to the office a year ago. I was suspicious because the towels I borrow from the gym then forget to return work well enough, OR SO I THOUGHT. Turns out I didn’t know proper “towel dried hair” until I tried this baby after a particularly luxurious hair conditioning treatment. It soaks up water, saves blow-drying time, does not break my neck nor pull out my hair like heavy (non-stolen) bath towels do and it’s certainly saved me from the immediate post-shower tangles that tend to attack my hair. I attribute its ease and lightness to the improved quality of my post-shower bathroom iPad reading hour.

2. The PedEgg

From the brand’s website: “Are you embarrassed by how your feet look and feel? Tired of dry and callused feet tearing your pantyhose? It’s time to take back control with PedEgg Power, the powerful solution in the palm of your hand! PedEgg Power easily buffs away callouses, dead skin, or dry and rough skin in seconds! Your feet will look years younger and feel baby smooth.”

If there’s one place in the world that I like to hang out in more than my bathroom, it’s the queue that leads up to the cash register at Bed Bath & Beyond. It is an enclave of discovery, a hub for all the things you thought were only purchasable on TV. It’s here that I first saw a Ped Egg in real life. I’d watched the commercials and almost threw up at them just like the next person but, because I am equally human, I was intrigued. Everyone enjoys soft feet! So I bought it, tried it, and it immediately became part of my self-spruce-up routine.

I forgot about the Ped Egg in recent years. Who knows why some loves fade? But I broke it out given my newfound pampering pound, and man am I happy to be back. My heels haven’t been this smooth in ages.

If you purchase this, two things:

1) With the classic PedEgg Ped Egg (the one shaped like an egg), your feet won’t feel like true velvet unless you buff after you skin-shave. (If you don’t know what I mean by skin-shave you should watch the video.) (If you have a strong stomach.) (It’s funny I promise.)

2) I have not tried the newest PedEgg product, the PedEgg Power (not shaped like an egg) but if anyone has, please let me know how it compares.

3. Herbivore’s Rose Quartz Face Roller

From the brand’s website: “Using the Rose Quartz Roller for a lymphatic massage as part of your skincare routine helps to eliminate toxins, reduce puffiness, and improve blood circulation to even out skin tone. Also, works great when combined with one of our facial oils as a way of working the oil more deeply into the skin for deeper penetration of nutrients and increased skin benefits.”

I have been pushing this thing on loved ones since 2016 when I first came across the jade version. Dedicated fan of Georgia Louise’s “Lift & Sculp” face massage that I was, I found myself using the excuse, “I don’t have time to rub my face for ten minutes twice a day” more often than I was comfortable with and realized I needed an equally satisfying solution for my lazier days.

These facial rollers are it. I keep one at the office in addition to the one in my bathroom because I like to roll it across my forehead whenever I realize I feel a frown line coming on. Because they’re made of stone, they’re always cold, which does wonders for the puffy stuff and also, hangovers. My favorite thing to do in the bathroom with my roller is, post-shower, put my Hair Turban on, apply a facial serum (when I’m being extra fancy/not following the routine prescribed by my dermatologist), turn on a relaxing song and roll this thing all over my face until the personal stylist who hangs out in my apartment a lot knocks on the door and asks to use the restroom, “please.”

4. A 10-Ounce Jar of St. Ives “Timeless Skin” Collagen Elastin Moisturizer

From the brand’s website: “See ya later scale-agator. Nourish your skin with the goodness of 100% natural moisturizers (Safflower seed oil). Infused with hard-working collagen and elastin this hydrating formula will help capture that fresh-faced glow we all love.”

Like the Hair Turban, this too was sent to me. And like Haley, I tend to be wary of trying new face products when my skin is in one of its “calm” periods. But I brought it home, largely because of my nostalgia for St. Ives, the scrub, and because I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if this $13 vat of face lotion that will last for an eternity was great?” Lo, it is indeed a wobbly, deliciously fat vat of indulgent-feeling, non-greasy cream that has lasted for months. My skin sucks it up like a milkshake and has yet to break out as a result.

Because it’s so hot in my bathroom, it’s like getting a steam facial every time you turn water on in that joint. What I like to do is shower, have a simultaneous pore steam, smear this all over my face, and use the roller over it. (I apply retinol before every other night. On these evenings, I let my face dry, apply retinol, let that dry, then spackle the St. Ives over it before bed in anticipation of waking up like Spongebob in that one episode where Sandy invites him over for the first time.) Full honesty, I can’t say it’s given me a so-called glow, but sometimes my thin is so thirsty that I’d rather hydrate first, worry about glow later. This is the only thing that makes it go, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

5. Christophe Robin Cleansing Purifying Scrub with Sea Salt

From the brand’s website: “The cleansing purifying scrub with sea salt is ideal as a detox treatment as it cleanses, purifies and restores balance to sensitive or oily scalps. It can also be used as a post-color treatment to soothe tingling and itching sensations.”

First of all, I hate the word scalp. Second of all, my scalp gets irritated and itchy easily, regardless of season, and I’m sure that all the consistent dye-jobs my roots require make it worse. This goopy, gloppy salt-packed scrub soothes the itch, gets rid of flakes and restores my scalp to a sense of calm. The sensation is odd at first: it feels as though I’m applying Instagram slime with chunky sand inside of it to my head, which surely can’t be right. But then I massage, and it begins to foam and the salt crystals start to do their thing, and by the time I rinse I feel like a new woman. (I need to condition immediately after, then add a hair mask to the ends because all the scrubbing inevitably adds tangles no matter how “correctly” I do it.)

Anytime I’m getting my hair involved in the shower, it’s a 30-minute ordeal at least. This scalp scrub adds on an extra 15 minutes, easy, but the results are worth it, and since I’m using my bathroom as the new hang-out spot in my apartment as-is, I think of this as an added bonus.

 

K now please tell me all the things you’re into so that I can get into them, too!

Collage by Emily Zirimis.

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