The Oxford American College Dictionary defines a “comeback” as “a return by a well-known person, especially an entertainer or sports player, to the activity in which they have formerly been successful.” I define a comeback as the return of literally anything that subsequently causes me to audibly wonder, “Yeah, whatever happened to ____?!” or “Wtf has _____ been doing this whole time!?,” to someone in my life who couldn’t care less.
Believe or not, this year has already given me enough comeback content to create a list (my new favorite past-time!). Below, some of the best comebacks of 2018 thus far, plus some I’d personally love to see as the year plays out. Add your own in the comments below so we can revisit this on a quarterly basis and marvel at our eerily accurate prediction skills.
Winona Ryder and Damaged Hair
Apparently Season 1 of Stranger Things and the existence of this glorious gif weren’t enough to qualify as a full-fledged comeback. Nay, it was the specific combination of the release of Stranger Things 2 at the tail-end of last year and this extremely weird L’Oreal commercial that aired during the Golden Globes that solidified not only Winona’s comeback, but the long-awaited comeback of damaged hair. I’m assuming damaged hair is coming back healthy and shiny which gives me pause re: what they’re saying about Winona, but exactly one generalization in this commercial is true: Everyone loves a good comeback!!!
I cannot tell you how many times I was also exposed to this trailer during my viewing of the Golden Globes. It has officially ruined Portugal. The Man’s “Feel It Still” for me and gives me the sudden urge to walk straight into a Carpool Karaoke YouTube hole, but the last time I recall thinking about Peter Rabbit was sometime in the early-to-mid ’90s thanks to repeated viewings of an animated VHS, so I’ll give Pete points for waiting this long to make a comeback.
When Roseanne Barr and John Goodman showed up as presenters at the Golden Globes (this is the last time I’ll mention the Golden Globes, I swear), the first thing I thought was, Wow, she brought her purse on stage, how fun!!! The second was, Oh shit, this Roseanne reboot is real!!! The new series with the same cast will air on March 27th and my favorite part is that Dan Conner (played by John Goodman) is back from THE DEAD which is the comeback to end all comebacks.
Unsure when I found time to go to school, take piano lessons and play AYSO soccer when most of my childhood memories revolve around me watching TRL, Gap commercials, Sailor Moon and good ol’ Trading Spaces. I’ve managed to avoid all other home improvement-based reality TV shows since Trading Spaces went off the air, so I’m just thrilled to hear that host Paige Davis and crew members Ty Pennington and Vern Yip are all coming back and I can pretend like nothing has changed except for how Ty totally rocketed to reality show stardom when he went to Extreme Home Makeover but, whatever, I’m sure there are no hard feelings and everything is fine.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
This is a double whammy for me because I was literally just asking my sister what she thought Sally Draper was up to these days! She never answered! I’m glad this reboot, based on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, will a.) be on Netflix and b.) be “darker” than the OG version, but what I really need to know is c.) what form Salem the cat will take. Real actor cat? Blatantly fake muppet? Peter Rabbit-status CGI?!?!
Now onto comebacks I’d like to request …
Since I can no longer identify any of the actors currently on the Disney Channel, I’d very much like early-aughts teen movie queen Julia Stiles to grace us with her presence and an impromptu (or totally promptu) dance scene of sorts. This short clip alone makes me want to watch both 10 Things I Hate About You AND Save The Last Dance, which I’m filing under “impressive.”
I somehow found myself at London’s “House Festival” last year and while I was losing my shit over Sean Paul’s appearance on the lineup, Craig David was slated as a headliner. My only immediate reference to him was and still is “7 Days,” and “What’s Your Flava,” the song that was used in the commercial for those creepy Mattel Flavas dolls, but the crowd was totally digging him and I’m all for elevating more people who have a first name as a last name. I think this comeback is already happening or may have already happened in the U.K. — will our friends across the pond please confirm or deny in the comments?
First of all, how funny would it be if they did covers of their ABBA covers?! Second of all, what if they came back as A*Tricenarians??! Who’s with me!?!?
A rockstar mom! Me constantly thinking “Fi” was a random name because I kept forgetting her name was Fiona! Erik von Detten! Gillian Anderson just announced that she’s done with The X-Files reboot, so I vote we give So Weird a go in its stead because I cannot wait to see what fonts they choose for the opening credits.
Muppets, in General
Just got done at work, see ya soon baby. pic.twitter.com/tFskWH8bVk
— Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) December 12, 2017
Now, I personally don’t think muppets have gone anywhere per se, but I think they’re poised for a full-on, 2018 takeover. Basically, I want people to stop looking at me like I’m a freak when I expound upon my love for the muppets and how they’re suddenly everywhere. My social feeds are chock full of Kermit memes, Abby Cadabby already reviewed spring 2018 trends in InStyle, that Sesame Street episode featuring Chance the Rapper has to air eventually… IT IS TIME.
Avril Lavigne or Michelle Branch
I don’t want to get greedy here; I’d be happy with either comeback on the singer-songwriter front. Both have solid YouTube music video black hole potential and both make pronouncing everyday words like “you” and “me” way more fun than they should be (see: “I’m With You” by Avril, and “Everywhere” by Michelle Branch, respectively). Last year, Branch released a studio album and Lavigne assured us new music was on the way, so 2018 is either’s game, provided Jewel doesn’t come out of the woodwork and do something crazy.
Feature photo by Maarten de Boer/Getty Images.