I’m fairly certain I suffer from the digital dementia experts are worried today’s reliance on the internet has created. If someone asks me what I did yesterday, ten times out of ten I have to think about it for a good five minutes, and nine times out of ten, I can’t really remember. I shudder at the thought of Lieutenant Olivia Benson ever asking me to recall my day in an attempt to hunt down a criminal; I’d be of a little use. But what I lack in helpful recall of my own life, I make up for in photographic memory of random shit that happened months ago that has literally nothing to do with me. In other words, I may not remember if I paid that bill, but I do know what Rihanna was posting on Instagram back in June!
So, as we reflect on the past year as December is prone to make us do, here are 50 weird/fun/random pop culture happenings that I remembered off the top of my head and documented below, just in case they help you piece together the highs and lows of the stuff that actually mattered in your very important life.
When everyone lost their shit over Salt Bae?
Including Diddy and French Montana in this heart-warming Ciroc commercial.
When Beyoncé posted this masterpiece of a pregnancy announcement?
A.k.a. the most liked Instagram of 2017, ladies and gentleman.
When Lady Gaga Spider-Man’d down into NRG Stadium in a shiny body suit and knee-high boots after singing “God Bless At America” at the Super Bowl?
And said “Hi” to her mom and dad!?
When everyone thought La La Land won Best Picture but Moonlight actually did?
When everyone realized Nicole Kidman doesn’t know how to clap?
When Rihanna casually wore a full Gucci crystal bodysuit to Coachella?
Face mask and everything.
When everyone started doing the #MaskOffChallenge with classical instruments?
I shoulda stuck with the damn clarinet.
The Great Kendall Jenner Pepsi Ad Debacle of 2017?
When Rihanna kept photoshopping the Queen of England’s head onto her body?
When Steve Harvey’s memo about everyone leaving him the eff alone leaked?
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) May 10, 2017
When that sea lion pulled that girl into the water?
When Rihanna showed up to the Met Gala looking like this?
When Jaden Smith showed up to the Met Gala with his severed locs as his date?
Willow wasn’t available.
The uncanny rise of the RompHim?
The uncanny rise of the fidget spinner?
When Drake performed IN the Bellagio fountains at the Billboard Music Awards which seems like it’d be really loud but is also kind of my dream?
When Rihanna and Kevin Durant randomly had a feud during the NBA Finals?
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) June 2, 2017
When Justin Bieber wore a cowboy hat?
He wore a lot of other things, too.
what in tarnacito pic.twitter.com/OIY5rhz7DK
— Four Pins (@Four_Pins) May 31, 2017
When Yoko Ono thanked me via Twitter for writing about her Twitter?
This was important.
— Yoko Ono (@yokoono) June 13, 2017
When Josh of Drake & Josh didn’t invite Drake of Drake & Josh to his wedding?
They’re cool now, though.
When Dua Lipa made us all love music videos again?
When Lorde admitted she was the person behind @onionringsworldwide, an Instagram account reviewing onion rings worldwide?
When people thought Taylor Swift was being carried around in a suitcase?
— SPIN 1038 (@spin1038) July 17, 2017
When Snapchat debuted that dancing hot dog guy?
When Lana Del Rey hexed Donald Trump?
When Drake Instagrammed his Degrassi royalty check for $8.25?
When Ed Sheeran was on Game of Thrones for some reason?
When Céline Dion was suddenly fetch again?
When 2 Chainz broke his leg?
And continued to perform in a pink wheelchair like a true hero.
When Sesame Street covered “Despacito”?
When Google searches for “my eyes hurt” spiked after the solar eclipse?
When all two minutes and 10 seconds of “Gucci Gang” were unleashed upon us all?
When Jack Antonoff ate a banana during Katy Perry’s cringey VMAs monologue?
When every single member of One Direction decided to have a solo career?
And Zayn shaved his head?
— Jack Wood 🐝 (@jackandwood) September 4, 2017
And added some ink!
When we started using this dude to express ourselves all the time?
His name is Drew!
When everyone realized not to fuck with Cher on Twitter?
Then keep your eyes open bitch
— Cher (@cher) September 5, 2017
When Kanye tried the Dad Bod trend?
He’s a dad! Let him live!
When Asahd Khaled got a $100,000 diamond watch for his first birthday party?
When Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka’oir had an insane wedding?
When MTV brought TRL back and I didn’t watch it?
When Sia tweeted her butt to spite the paparazzi?
When Britney Spears posted the painting Instagram video heard ’round the world?
That painting sold for $10,000, nbd.
When Trump met the Pineapple Pen guy for some reason?
When like four Kardashians were all rumored to be pregnant at the same damn time?
When the Pope got a new lambo?
lamborghini mercy 🙏 pic.twitter.com/KtED3I0pwR
— Genius (@Genius) November 15, 2017
When Selena and Justin got back together and then The Weeknd hung out with Bella Hadid because why the fuck not?
When Netflix shamed people for watching the Netflix original holiday movie, The Christmas Prince?
To the 53 people who’ve watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days: Who hurt you?
— Netflix “Mariah Carey’s Merriest Christmas” US (@netflix) December 11, 2017
When everyone started doing the Box Challenge and freaking me out?
Including J. Beibz.
When Meghan Markle and Prince Harry released their engagement photos just like every other Normal on your FB feed?
That’s only scratching the surface, I’m sure. Add your favorite moments down below before you forget! Promise I won’t, though.
Collage by Kelsey Lim.