Monocycle, Episode 63
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When I was nine years old, my dad told me that everyone has an interesting story if you are willing to listen to it. Over the past month, I have really enjoyed treating Monocycle like a bicycle, listening to the stories of particularly interesting people, some more public than others, and getting into the thick of what it means to be a person in the world, whether in the context of being a woman, owning your vanity or experiencing grief. But for old times’ sake (and because sometimes talking is more satisfying than writing), here’s an episode of Monocycle that features no one but me, my sound booth and that background music you probably wish never to hear again but that is probably not going anywhere any time soon. The choice topic is self-esteem, a human condition that has come up in so many of my conversations as of late because it seemingly impairs me, but see the thing is that I’ve been masquerading it as otherwise-titled experiences (self love, self respect, compassion and so on) for at least the last year. Sometimes it is so liberating to finally land on a spade and to be able to call it one even if you don’t have a next step, or solution in place.

We’re only running six minutes and 40 seconds long this week, so enjoy this episode while you take a coffee break, or sit on the toilet, or braid your pubic hair. Please don’t forget to come back and hit me ~up~ in the comments below because now you know I need validation, use self-deprecation to get it and ugh, just love talking to you. HAPPY FRIDAY! T-minus 10

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  • Paola

    You wouldn’t believe the impact this has on another soul who hasn’t crossed paths with self-esteem yet.

  • Julie May

    My first reaction to your podcast was one of sadness. If Leandra Medine has low self esteem then what is the hope for the rest of us??? However, I want to give you a message of hope. Leandra, the minute they put your two (yes two!) beautiful babies in your arms your entire world is going to change. You will see so clearly and all the things you worried about will disappear in an instant. You will have two people whose lives depend on you… who will see you as the smartest, most beautiful, kindest person in the world. Sure motherhood brings challenges and you will sometimes doubt yourself. But trust me, you’ll be so head over heels in love again that you’ll laugh that you ever worried about your self esteem.

    • Cassidie

      I agree, but also that was not situation. Some things became clear to me, while other strongly held beliefs went all over the place for me. One was my illusion of self esteem. Maybe it’s just an age thing and it coincided with becoming a Mom and you are having it because of your age and not situation? Anyway, I guess what I am saying is if you do go further into self hate, don’t feel guilty. Get or keep a good doctor and a strong support system and things get better at year one, at least for me.

  • S.M

    I have to speak about a certain point mentioned in this monocycle. I too suffer from the desperation of having people acceptance. for so long, I masked my true identity just to belong to this falsified so called society we live in. Often people say ohh be the odd one and stand out but hey do people do that anymore? specially at a younger age. But now I am happily self assured. Some day I am still the silly girl who seek acceptance and rely on it as if its air. Other days I really don’t give a two fuck.
    I guess it comes with age? The point is, we all struggle and we all are told what to do. But seemingly do people follow what comes out of their mouth? Its exactly the same as the girl who give her friends advice about their problem and when she deals with her problem she doesn’t know what to do.

  • Tatiana

    I wonder if it matters at all when one has talents like you. I too have minimal amounts of self-esteem and am normally disgusted with myself. At the end of the day though, would you rather have that quality which allows you to be proud of what you have done or the one that makes you constantly want more and never be happy with what you have. I know they shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, but sometimes it is a consolation to at least have one of them.