What’s a Weird Thing That Turns You On?
11.08.17

I’m not positive this is unconventional, but things really locked in for me, attraction-wise, when my boyfriend recited the quadratic equation by memory. I also fell deeper in love with him when I learned he was a mathlete in high school. He had to get up at 6 a.m. for it! That’s math dedication!

It would be dishonest to call this a one-off. A boy I dated in high school, who I’m pretty sure was just my good friend and not my boyfriend despite us titling ourselves otherwise, once drew me on his graphing calculator. It was very romantic and a genuinely good portrait. I’m livid I don’t have it framed in my living room.

Both of these guys, now that I think of it, went against the “math nerd” stereotype and are also very artistic. I wonder if I’ve been waiting my whole life to date a mathletic artist. I can’t even say that with irony; I’m genuinely turned on by that combination. I also like beards and glasses, but that feels unrelated, and also pretty whatever.

Attraction is a curious thing. Despite what Cosmo-of-the-90s would have us believe, entire genders are not “driven wild” by the same things. Everyone I know has massively different predilections; that’s part of what makes gossiping about dates and relationships endlessly interesting. The clichés about what men and women like are so boring and, more dangerously, often wrong. I present my late research on spooning as Exhibit A.

I think the shape of our attraction ought to be considered as complex as the shape of our personalities, which is why I’d like to request you consider the below comments section Exhibit B: a safe space for sharing what unconventional qualities attract you. Let’s paint this picture as colorfully as possible. And while we’re at it, maybe let’s discuss conventional ones, too, because I’m still processing being turned on by Avi drilling something into a wall the other day and I need someone to talk me through it.

Feature photo by Daily Mirror/Mirrorpix via Getty Images.

Get more Postmodern Love ?
  • Kelly Nash

    I am weirdly turned on by my boyfriend’s armpit hair, as strange as that sounds. I have no idea why, but it really intrigues me and its fun to play with!

    • Zoë

      I love the smell of my boyfriends body odor MIXED with the smell of his deodorant. It’s intoxicating.

      • gracesface

        hahahaha same here.

      • YES.

  • Alexandra

    Red socks! Wearing them, that is. And on guys, very specific combination of brown pants/shorts and black socks/shoes. Not sure what it is!

    • libs

      I love the specificity of this!

  • Myfanwy

    Hands! Hands do everything for me. A guy who ticks all my boxes BUT has weird claw-hands? Nope. An absolute Viking of a human who I want to carry me downriver to his longboat, BUT who has stumpy little fingers? Nope. A guy who otherwise I wouldn’t even have noticed, but who has well-proportioned, strong hands and nice straight fingers? GIMME.

    • Hayley

      I was coming down here to say the exact same thing!

    • Alexa M

      Also good forearms (?), despite the fact that I couldn’t even tell you what constitutes a ‘good forearm’ in my mind

      • Hayley

        Yessss that too. Strong but not super bulky, kind of veiny (but not too veiny)…

        • Myfanwy

          I 100% agree and yet somehow the word veiny here is making me shudder. What’s with that?

          • Hayley

            Because it turned you on?!

      • Helen

        Forearms everytime, a rested forearm, an active forearm. Forearms in every position. I’m a bit flustered now

        • Myfanwy

          OMG I can’t believe I didn’t even get past the wrist in my imaginings. Forearms too. Yes yes yes.

        • Paula Martin

          I like watching my boyfriend brush his teeth, and I just realized it’s because of his forearms. So veiny in all the right places 😍!

        • Aleda Johnson

          Yes! But I prefer lightly veined forearms, know what I’m saying?

          • Hudson Berry

            this. especially if he codes or types a lot. OR plays a sport like lacrosse where the musculature becomes toned/defined

        • Amelia

          SAME SAME SAME FOREVER

        • Beatriz Medeiros

          Girl, FOREARMS!
          Once, a guy a hooked up with changed his profile picture for one in wich only his forearms appeared – well defined, tattooed, golden tanned.
          I still show that picture to make a point when I mention forearms are my thing.

        • I am SUCH a forearm girl but could never put it into words without sounding absurd!

        • Catherine S

          Honestly anytime my boyfriend’s arms/hands/shoulders to anything vaguely muscle-y I am a goner. basically any movement that proves he indeed has functioning muscles.

      • Saskia

        YES!!

      • L

        YES! FOREARMS. Veiny, a little hairy, tapering to good wrists connecting to strong, big but elegant, hands with long fingers…. esp paired with a button-down shirt sleeves rolled up midway. Plus if shirt is “banker blue”
        Also a man in a beautiful, Chuck-bass-esque suit.
        Also military uniforms, the ceremonial kind Prince-William-wedding kind, not the combat kind.
        Also if he is a serious coder. For some reason this drives me nuts. Not like “oh I can make a website from squarespace,” but like serious serious nerdy coder who could hack something major (if he wanted) and build anything he wanted with his laptop.
        I realize these things are a bit incongruous, but there you have it

        • Olivia Lauren Hawk Moore

          FORE. ARMS. Good lord yes

          • Olivia Lauren Hawk Moore

            Like preferably muscular like when lifting things. I swear I drool everytime I watch my husband move furniture

          • Yes to lifting heavy things!

          • Chloe Edmonds

            I like guys with four arms.

          • Hayley

            Laughing at my desk thank you

      • Jaime Gelpi

        agree 100% but i will add that my boyfriend has only one forearm/hand but quality over quantity right

      • breathlss79

        I like dark hair on the forearm. Drives me wild.

      • Y’all I get turned on by my own forearms, what is it about those lil muscles

      • Reese Ferguson

        There it is. Was waiting this who.e thread for “the thing.” There it is.

    • But hands are not a weird things, many women love men’s hands. And I agree with you, a guy with ugly hands… no, I couldn’t even think of being touched by him.

    • Danielle Cardona Graff

      TOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY!!!!!

    • Bo

      LOVE a good set of hands. I have tiny inconsequential hands so he really needs to carry the bulk of the hand-weight in any partnership involving me

    • Rachel

      Even better, the ideal hand with a nice, perfectly nerdy watch. Gets me every time

    • molly_maureen

      Yes!! Never knew I was into hands until I met my husband’s lovely, perfectly-proportioned hands

    • Rosie Rachel Rosiecki

      I’m always checking to make sure they don’t have those super short super wide thumbs 😳 it’s terrible but beautiful man hands with some pull up bar calluses go a long way

  • Julie

    Tall, but like, a specific type of tall. Like soccer player build (aka not muscle-y but strong). Shoulders are important to me too – straight out, not too sloped. Those are the physical things that draw me in but they really reel me in if they do something “crafty” or work in a field where they are hands-on. I base that on the fact that my dad is a carpenter so it’s just been passed down to me as an honorable kind of job/hobby.

    • Abby

      Carpenters are so damn sexy, I die.

  • jolene73

    I am slightly obsessed with funny nerds, specifically Richard Ayoade, the writer/comedian/actor/sex god who wears short corduroy suits like Wes Anderson and has an amazing afro. Luckily my husband is also a funny nerd although I concur with Haley about being handy with power tools: he once put some cupboards together in our spare room and it really did it for me (and him).

    • kay

      richard ayoade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am a giggling puddle for that man

      • jolene73

        He lives near me. Not that I moved to be near him, you understand 👀. Can confirm his all round hotness and understated lovely demeanour in the flesh.

        • gracesface

          whaaaaaaaaat omg i am so jealous. i can watch his travel/technology/game show all.day.long. I’ll still go back and rewatch old Big Fat Quiz of the Year eps just for his funny self!! He’s AMAAAZING.

          • jolene73

            He’s the best thing in any programme he happens to be in. My husband just sighs when he sees his name in the TV listings. But he gets Lauren Laverne so it’s a very democratic system * she says, trying to excuse her addiction *

    • Abby

      Married to a funny nerd over here! He’s a funny confident short nerd, which is even better.

  • Amanda Faerber

    I really like a man who knows how to drive. He knows where he’s going and is aggressive, not in a dangerous way, in a confident way.

    • Haley Nahman

      I feel this but mostly because I hate driving and just want to look out the window

      • nelgracev

        Lol ME

    • shannon

      oh yes, i dated a guy who would freak out in traffic & get so stressed if he didn’t know where he was to the point i would have to drive. such a turnoff!

    • lippoldthaus

      Yes, if only because that’s how I drive. The way my husband drives (slow, overly cautious, a little directionally challenged) is one of his few less-appealing qualities lol

    • L

      I have this too!! I can totally not see anything in a guy, but then if we drive together and he is v calm and masterful and like “one with his car”, I find myself weirdly attracted to him, before I snap out of it and realize this is just the “driving goggles.” Wonder if this is some kind of metaphor for feeling protected and accompanied by someone who knows where they are going on the “road of life,” or if this is just internalized from years of mcconaughey-style driving commercials?

      • Lauren252

        Lol “driving goggles” – I agree!

  • Alexa M

    I find it really attractive when a guy is secure in his masculinity/sexuality rather than constantly trying to prove his manliness and refusing to use moisturiser because ‘it’s for girls’. I was neighbours with a guy who was a really smart, good looking rugby player and he was never more attractive to me than when he was talking about his love for the Great British Bake Off

    • Haley Nahman

      Love a man in a face mask

      • Danielle Cardona Graff

        hahahaha and hand moisturizer.

      • Erin Bushey

        Yes!!!

    • Erica

      yes! my boyfriend and i got pedicures together (no polish for him tho) but it was so nice that he didn’t put up a fight about it being a “girl activity” – he loves being pampered too!

    • Julie

      oh, totally. A guy I dated a couple of years ago was super aware that a lot of people assumed he was gay based on his love of theater and some mannerisms and it didn’t bother him one bit and he didn’t treat it like this big, horrendous thing like so many insecure straight dudes would.

    • Madeline C

      YES. Before I started dating my current BF I was always super attracted to the fact that he only found it flattering when other men hit on him. No weirdness, no awkwardness, no need to prove to anyone that he wasn’t.

      On an unrelated note about turn ons: he obsessed with his asshole/sweet/chaos creater cat because he loves how fluffy it is and for whatever reason, when he is holding it, I always want to jump him. TBD on if the cat thing and the security in his masculinity are related behaviors.

      • Caro A

        I thought my boyfriend was gay for the first month we dated. I told him a year later and he was flattered because he thinks gay culture is avant garde and ahead of everyone.

    • TinySoprano

      There used to be a guy I saw around the uni food co-op who wore blue eyeshadow and I swear it was the sexiest thing ever.

    • belle

      Yep. And when they are willing to hold a purse or carry a child’s bag or something else similarly “emasculating.” If someone were concerned about something so trivial it would be a dealbreaker for me…

      • Teresa

        The dad with the tiny princess backpack slung over one shoulder

    • Catherine S

      I once saw two straight dudes (my friend and I intensely evaluated the situation and came to the determination that they were not gay/dating, or related) eating together in a restaurant. It was just the two of them at a fairly nice sit-down restaurant. They shared an appetizer and let their hands graze each other if they happen to reach at the same time. It was the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

    • Kate Snyder

      Abbbsolutely the biggest turn-off for me as a card-holding vegetarian is when guys feel the need to broadcast that they MUST HAVE meat at EVERY meal for their apparently ever-waning muscles that must be constantly sustained. Love me a man who is down to chow on a hearty salad and ain’t afraid to like it.

      • THIS. I went on a blind date set up and written about by the Washington Post, and mentioned to my date that I was a vegetarian. He never gave any inclination of wanting to order meat (which would obviously have been fine – the newspaper is paying, get what you want!) but spent almost the entire article write-up talking about how he was thinking about the bison steak the whole time, disliked “all the plants and seeds and nuts and berries” (wtf) and left hungry and ordered a turkey leg at home. Short of my confusion regarding where one procures a turkey leg at 10:30 PM on a Wednesday in DC, this was the hugest turn off. Bye Felipe.

        • Alli

          This is??? So weird??

    • Lovisa

      Yes!! I fall deeper in love with my boyfriend every time he goes against typical masculine stereotypes. He uses moisturizer and face masks and loves Bake Off, and he wears my old pajama pants with kittens on them – not just in the house, mind you, but when he goes to get groceries. Something like a fifth of his closet is clothes he’s inherited from his little sister. The other week, he told me that people often mistake him for a girl because of his shoulder-length hair and short stature. All of this could make a more insecure man tremble with “no homo” fright, but he’s so darn comfortable with his choices that he just doesn’t care. He’s happy the way he is and damn, if that isn’t sexy.

    • Senka

      Rugby player part sounded pretty great too.

  • libs

    the other week I was in the car with a guy who I have a little crush on, and when he casually mentioned that he’d built part of the electronics in his car, it stepped up to full blown crush. Most erotic thing I’ve ever heard a man say!!!

    • Haley Nahman

      hahaha

  • jdo719

    Conventional: my boyfriend changing a flat tire on the side of the highway. I come from a family of proud AAA devotees, so it just did. not. compute. that one would choose/be able to handle their own roadside crisis. It was super hot. Also a major turn-on: when he dotes on my (now our) dog. Whatever works!

    • Haley Nahman

      same re: doting on pets!

  • Halina

    Anyone who has read the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

    • Haley Nahman

      hahaha <3

    • Kaylan Waterman

      just found out my boy has not and was legitimately, and to him, hilariously, DISAPPOINTED!
      so yes, with you on this.

    • Charlie

      LOTR forever!

  • Liz B

    Man eating packed lunch on lap come at me. That or a defined tricep. Rarely find both

    • Kristi Ellis

      The specificity of this and the mental image is making me giggle so much. But I agree, there is something endearing about watching someone enjoy their meager lunch.

    • Haley Nahman

      I lol’d

      • Liz B

        Feeling so heard from my desk in London. Moving to NYC in spring so more community events please!

        • Liz B

          Ps think the packed lunch thing is something about the vulnerability. Not sure what that says about me.

    • Kaylan Waterman

      packed. lunch. girl you are ONTO it.

    • sq

      I used to admire my BF eating his packed lunch (hummus and cucumber sandwiches wrapped in tinfoil) on his lap before we got together.

    • Sarah

      also it means probably makes decent food and hopefully won’t ask you to make him a sandwich

  • Not even considering putting chores and tasks into HIS and HERS boxes, but rather trying to find out who’s good at what and simply doing it, gender be danged
    Being good at including basic maths and other sciences into our hours-long discussions about life and all the fish. Dislike and avoid (vile) gossip. Being able to invent or contribute to inventing stories from the scratch. Laughing all the time.

  • what turns me on about guys: When they laugh really easily / un-self-consciously. When they have really great vocabulary. Tenderness toward animals. Hands and forearms do it for me too.

    what turns me on about women: Sleepy eyes. Creative swearing.

    • sleepy eyes zomg

    • Haley Nahman

      VOCABULARY! And laughing easily. Agree!

      • Sarah Katherine

        Vocabulary. Big words. Mastery of the English language. Yes.

    • Kelsey

      Yup, women who wield words well can have me anytime!!

    • TinySoprano

      And you just described my girlfriend. Plus the way she likes to hold my hand while we fall asleep. Swoon!

    • Rebecca

      omg animals!! yes yes yes

    • Abby

      When they laugh and grab their left pec without noticing!! See: Chris Evans

    • Lauren

      Lately I’ve heard a lot of women use an enthusiastic “Amazing” as a one word response to another woman’s statement. It’s… amazing.

    • Lindsey

      Omg, I TOTALLY notice when women have sleepy eyes. It is extremely sexy.

  • tmm16

    Physically, chest hair. And this is strange because I used to be turned off by it, but in the last year, maybe biology hit me hard and now super masculine men are very hot to me. Non-physically (is this a word), I adore men who read consistently and often and have opinions on subjects that are important to me (i.e. women’s rights, sexual assault, etc.) If we can have a deep convo on a subject, I’m swooning.

    I’d say I’m a low-key sapiosexual.

    • Haley Nahman

      LOVE INFORMED OPINIONS

    • Abby

      Is it weird that I really enjoy stroking my husband’s chest hair?

      • Kattigans

        I stroke my bf’s armpit hair and he specifically requests it because he says it tickles in a nice way. So no not weird

    • I like some body hair too. I’m pretty hairy myself so it’s reassuring to know that we’re both hairy. I have some coworkers who pride themselves on having practically hairless boyfriends/husbands, but I think I’d be embarrassed being more hairy than my guy.

    • Kattigans

      Chest hair for sure. It has to be the right amount but omg a little bit peaking through a v-neck shirt. OMG

  • Svenja

    Guys who weren’t that interesting to me in the beginning can very suddenly become very attractive when I learn that they can sing or play an instrument really well. Other talents have the same effect, just seeing someone doing something beautiful or being very dedicated.
    Stupid example: When Grey’s Anatomy’s Dr Owen Hunt started singing in the musical episode! 😉 Ever since then I consider him much more attractive than before.

  • Aleda Johnson

    I have a thing for lanky guys with ridiculously angular faces, almost androgynous looking (think Andy Biersack or Jaime Campbell Bower). My boyfriend manages to accomplish it and still make me feel small because he’s 6’6″ with HUGE hands and a super deep voice. He’s the only guy I’ve seen in real life who actually, no lie made me weak in the knees. I’m never letting him go haha

    • Jessica

      Oh yes I love angular faces too! My friends all think it’s really odd but I have always dated guys with really distinctive bone structure.

    • Emily M

      agreeeeeeee ridiculously angular faces for sure

  • Emily

    pearly whites/straight teeth and when people whisper in my ear. Most embarrassing case of “oh jeez why am i turned on right now” was when an old boyfriend whispered nickelback lyrics in my ear as a joke… how are you supposed to follow up on that???

    • my boyfriend and i have a joke where we sexily whisper the names of condiments in each other’s ear. i have no idea why that became a thing. at all. but it always makes me laugh a lot/gives me warm fuzzies when he wraps his arms around me and whispers, “tahini…”

      • Charlie

        O this type of romance proves that it’s worth waiting! Condiment turn on!

      • nelgracev

        Reminds me of the funny/tender-insults/pranks of the (lovable/toxic) Seth Rogan/Michelle Williams couple “I want to scoop out your eyes with a melon baller” LOL

        • nelgracev

          *Take This Waltz

        • omg YES. i loved that and totally forgot about it till now. thank you for the reminder!

    • Haley Nahman

      amazing

  • Lexie

    My bf took my car to pick up take out for us both and put gas in it without me asking. 😭😭 That’s a chore I hate so it was ridiculously thoughtful and is that not the biggest turn on of all?

    • Hilary

      Same, but w/ getting the car washed just to be thoughtful!!

  • Camila Restrepo

    Turtlenecks. My roommates made fun of me when we were lived abroad but I get so turn on when I see a good looking man wearing a turtleneck (so yay for France and Italy for fitting that quota). Black turtleneck with black blazer/leather jacket and maybe some scruff and I’ll start drooling like a dog. So yeah, weird turn on.
    And lately, tattoos. Really turned on by sleeves, half sleeves- you name it.

    • belle

      YEP YUP YEAH TURTLENECKS I HAVE A WHOLE PINTEREST BOARD OF THIS

      • Charlie

        Guess we need your Pinterest!

        • Camila Restrepo

          Yea Belle, where is this pinterest at? We need it!

    • Liz

      Rory Cochran in Empire Records, anyone?

  • fmallorieee

    A guy that can tell quirky-yet-not-so-great jokes very often and to no one in particular. Even if he never gets laughs he doesn’t let it prevent him from telling another.
    Example: *an EDM version of R. Kelly’s Ignition (Remix) plays in the background* and he says (mostly to himself) “Ha, the remix to the remix”
    A stellar vocab also drives me bananas.

  • I have something I call “Native-Nashvilian Syndrome,” NSS for short.

    NSS presents an inverted attraction to the musician type due to overexposure.

    By the time I made it to any quad, I’d already experienced a long list of long-haired men singing and strumming their way through Wonder Wall. They were everywhere. Pouring my coffee. Pumping my gas. Serving me beer when I was (maybe, probably) a little too young. The second man who ever broke my heart was in a “noise” band and had longer (albeit greasier) blonde hair than I did.

    You know what really turns me on? Spreadsheets. Outlook. Your 401k. Know how to use Excel? Let’s talk about it. Nah, I don’t want to see your band play The Metro. But damn boy, I’d love to hear about that 9 AM client regroup.

    • Haley Nahman

      lolll

    • Sarah

      ahahaha YES. Having a good job is so much more attractive than being in a band and having no job (but bonus points if he has both)

      • RT to bonus points if he has both. I don’t even necessarily think they are mutually exclusive. Just put on those ALDO dress shoes and let me fantasize about filling our home with items from an LL Bean catalog. You know?

    • @_Royar

      You’re onto something here

    • Hayley

      I have been on the same wavelength BUT then i found a man who does BOTH. Works at a financial center for a corporate job by day, clean cut and in suits MHM. Then band lead singer at night with messy hair and skinnies with his tats showing. Bless.

    • Melissa

      There was a guy in my old work team who was meh kinda cute but not like noticeable but then one day I needed to use V Lookup and didn’t know a single thing and he showed me from scratch and I’d never loved anyone as much as him at that very moment.

  • Cassandra

    Crows feet. Like seriously deep and pronounced ones. Instantly makes me swoon.

    • Cassandra

      Oh and when someone can easily tackle a seemingly hard (to me) task, like effortlessly installing shelves.

    • actually, yes

  • Jess

    Literally in the last week I have realised that I am attracted to men with big noses. I love them. Also, yaknow, lovely personalities and watching a guy (anyone really) speak passionately about something. Maybe part of the attraction is hearing someone speak passionately about something I had never thought to assign the word ‘passion’ to in the first place? I dunno, hot though.

    • +1 on the noses! And on the surprising passion, for sure.

    • Haley Nahman

      agree!

    • Lola

      100% on the big nose train. I often look at a guy and think “you would would be attractive if only you had as a slightly bigger nose”.

      • breathlss79

        A very lovely but little-nosed man who liked me figured out that bigger noses were my thing. Then I liked him a little for his insight. But it didn’t grow him a nose.

    • silla

      YASSSS.

    • breathlss79

      NOSES

    • Helen

      I am a veritable puddle for a broke nose. The wonkier the better!

      • Jess

        Urgh yes

    • Louise Rhodes

      Oh my god I love a big nose on a man. It’s so……I don’t know. But it really is. Grrrrrrr.

  • Emily

    Hearing my boyfriend speak about something he’s knowledgeable in. We both studied art history and his thesis presentation was so sexy to me. In a similar vein, going to museums with him, and sharing that experience that we both love individually together. also, his emails! he is very direct and to the point, but writes little love notes to me at the end of them. always always give me butterflies

    • Haley Nahman

      that’s adorable (the emails)

    • Kaylan Waterman

      museummsssss <3 <3

      • Emily

        i actually work in a museum so it’s an extra sexy one for me! haha.

  • Elli

    Men crying. Or when guys are in love and they try to hide it, but that lurky smile shines through. The two guys in the movie “Weekend”: Secretely in love AND crying! I guess it´s the hidden vulnerability. It just makes me want to hold them tight, kiss them, fuck them and thus rescue them.

    • Haley Nahman

      into crying

    • Lexie H.

      Yes to crying, but feel guilty about it… Like I shouldn’t enjoy someone’s sadness.

  • Emma Connelly

    Good dancer // enthusiastic or willing to try!

    • Haley Nahman

      100%

    • Kaylan Waterman

      huge.

    • gracesface

      first date with my husband was to the tiki bar (70s night) and he just walked in there and started dancing like john travolta in saturday night fever – swooooon!

  • Lucy

    A guy’s shoulders in a well-fitted dress shirt/rolled up sleeves (a nod to everyone on the forearm train). Also, yes to the working with tools/fixing things turn-on….I love DIY projects and working around the house, but it’s so sexy when my boyfriend can fix something I haven’t been able to.

    But mainly – if someone can really make me laugh and do it in an understated sort of self-deprecating way – swoon.

    • kaley

      Rolled up sleeves, yes! That’s the best.

  • I love baldies!! I don’t know what it is, but a man with a shaved head (and wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up) is just… *italian chef kiss*

    • Camila Restrepo

      I’ve dated a German baldy and he was definitely sexy. I also love when baldies are super confident in their shaved head and they own it.

      • Totally!! The confidence is key. Not just any baldy can rustle my jimmies.

    • Annie O’Brien

      Add some glasses to the mix and I’m done.

    • Abby

      My husband was kind of self conscious when he got really bald and had to start shaving his head but I was like NO I LOVE IT YESSSS

      • Same with my boyfriend! When we first started dating he still had hair but it had been thinning for awhile so I finally convinced him to pull the trigger on shaving and he looks SO DARN CUTE.

    • Basil

      Ah yes. Bald men – for me it all started with a friend of a friend (and I still don’t know how real name – I just know him as “the captain”). He was so sweet, and bald and had great forearms.
      I think this explains my Stanley Tucci obsession which only increased after I found out that he had published a book of his grandma’s recipes * swoon *

  • Sarah Bauer

    When my boyfriend asks the server, “Do you have any gluten free options?” on my behalf. It is SO SEXY!

    • Haley Nahman

      just read this aloud to the office

    • Julie

      YES!! I’m gluten free (I have Celiac Disease) and it is such a turn-on when a guy takes charge, stands up, and is like “LET’S LEAVE” when a waiter doesn’t know what is gluten free on the menu.

    • Hilary

      My fiancé does this for me too!!! It is so sweet gahhhh

    • Vero Smith

      Ditto vegetarian options! My husband does this for me!

    • Emily

      my boyfriend does this for me too, with my mushroom allergy. he’ll ask every time we order to make sure it doesn’t have it, and if he orders something with mushrooms, he waits to get home and brush his teeth before he kisses me. 🙂

  • Haley Nahman

    Did I mention being a good cuddler

    • Sarah Azulay

      Being a good cuddler but also being good to cuddle against. The gap above my husbands collar bone is weirdly the perfect shape to nuzzle my face into. I knew I was going to marry him when I realized that.

  • Ben Pechey

    When he actually appreciates the effort I put into my appearance whether it be time or financial. A small compliment about my earring choice here, a small amount of applause for a well chosen boot there. Basically any guy who doesn’t wrinkle his nose at my choices, especially my fashion.
    I’m attracted to a guy that *maybe* might not exist 🤦🏼‍♂️…

  • Utsa

    when a guy is driving in reverse and puts his hand behind the passenger seat headrest and looks over his right shoulder. chills

    • Velo

      i was just going to comment this!!!!

    • Josephine

      That is such a good one!!!

    • Krusty the Kat

      Also, man driving a manual transmission. Really shifts my gears.

      • Utsa

        wow yes

      • A car.

        A homeless man driving without a muffler oddly fast and annoying other people. Fun. Also turning the key and revving the engine really gets me going.

      • Jay

        Haha, move to Europe…

    • Bo

      In australia our cars have right hand drive so they’re looking over the left shoulder instead but I’m willing to wager we’re feeling the exact same emotion

    • gracesface

      ahhh you’re so right! i find it so sexy that my husband can back the car up straight or in any combination while I can barely do a straight line!!

    • Diana McNeill

      I didn’t know this was my thing until you wrote it.

    • Lola

      You are so so right why the fuck is this so sexy??

    • Rebecca Sherouse

      How did you know?!?!!

    • Teresa

      RIP to this feeling with the advent of back-up cameras

      • No, some men keep doing it!

    • Oh that’s true! Men can do sexy things when they drive, like when they move the wheel with the flat hand, sooo sexy

      • Gene Day

        You might enjoy a farmer masterfully steering a tractor and wagon while completely cock-sure it’s going exactly where he wants it.

      • Lindsey

        OMG YES!!! Why is that?!

        • I don’t know! I’ve never seen a woman do that but gosh, I love it. Do you know the video of “I drove all night” by Roy Orbison with Jennifer Connelly and Jason Priestly? Well, he drove a lot (obviously) and he does that. I’ve always liked that video, I guess also for the fact that you can see a man driving in a sexy way

    • Priyanka Raveendran

      Oooooh!

    • Clairebear

      And a man that can parallel park in a tight spot on the first try? That gives me the warms.

    • I didn’t even know this about myself until I read it here. What kind of dark magic are they pulling?

  • Celina

    Men with strong brows — not bushy per se, but dark and thicker. Also, smile creases. Also, squarish-roundish jawlines — defined but not too angular.

  • LONG CURLY HAIR. My bf grew his hair out for a while and had the most GORGEOUS locks. Since last year he’s chopped it all off, still very sexy but I miss the curls. Also, I love it when he dresses up. I’m one of those people. Whether it’s a uniform, costume, or simply a “nicer” outfit than usual. He is FINE. And legs. Love his legs. More short shorts for men, please. (Says the track/cross country runner in me)

    • Haley Nahman

      love short shorts

      • bananarama

        ok this might b the California girl in me but I actually love those solid colored Chubbies shorts on a guy w nice tanned legs

  • corny @$$ jokes. not to be confused with dad jokes, cause that just sounds creepy. tons of puns. cool hobbies/passions outside of sports, i mean sports are cool too but anything outside the “regular dude” stuff. thinking i’m funny. knowing how to coooook. making my friends laugh. HAWT HAWT HAWTTTT. thick head of hair or completely bald with a beard and cool hat. ohhhh and obviously confidence but specifically in a restaurant where lots o dates take place – like ordering drinks, meals, asking for the check, making way to the bar, getting the bartenders attention without being rude and without awkwardness.

    • Lindsey

      Ugh, it is SUCH a turnoff when a guy does not know how to confidently approach a bar and get the bartender’s attention.

  • H Kennedy

    I went on a first date recently, and the guy told me about how he keeps a ranked list of the coffees he drinks. Potentially (for me) the most attractive thing anyone has ever told me…

  • Lee Taylor-Penn

    a handsome man in a well-fitted suit with a skinny tie! I die. (e.g. the male models in the wedding section of the j.crew catalog)

  • kaley

    Nice shoes! Good fashion is always a plus, but taking time to even buy nice shoes shows a real level of dedication to lookin’ fine 👌

    Also gingers. So I guess a ginger in some suave leather shoes is my ideal man lol.

  • Zoë

    If I hear skateboard wheels against the pavement, I get the chills. Sometimes this gets awkward because I’ll whip my head around and it’s a 12 yr old.

    • Utsa

      guilty

      • Annie O’Brien

        Or worse it’s a rolling backpack.

    • Aydan

      12 yr old on a scooter….

  • Allison Richman Craycraft

    Its funny, this has changed so much over the years. 20YO me was like “hello, bad boy lanky bassists” and 33YO me is like “OMG he is a dad and a feminist! So hot!”

    • Sarah

      relatable

  • Elsa M

    Eventhough I’ll never smoke cigarettes, I find it inexplicably attractive when a guy smokes. Even more if they do it with a little unintended attitude. Man oh man.

    • Mon Valdés

      OMG Me too! I don’t smoke, and I actually hate the smell of cigarettes, but seeing a guy smoking like he has no care in the world is very sexy. I can just picture the guy seating on a chair, leaning forward, with his forearms on his kness and dangling a cig on his hand… ovaries exploding

  • Autumn

    A guy with a baby/small child. So endearing and sexy. But not in a “take me, daddy” sort of way. More like, a cartoon heart eyes way. And I really appreciate the way guys thighs look in fitted jeans for some reason.

  • Josephine

    So many good ones in the comment section! Shoulders, rolled up sleeves, forearms, good teeth, whispering condiments. The MR comment section never fails to impress! Didn’t come across long legs. Is that a weird one? O and deep voice!

    What I’m sure is weird is the attraction to some of the men in film versions of Victorian fiction – I mean a smouldering BBC Thornton (referring to Gaskell’s 1845 novel). Apparently, top hats and cravats are attractive hahaha!

    • Nope: I adore long and athletic legs.

    • Kaylan Waterman

      THORNTONNNNN, yes! such a babe in the film adaptation.
      dark & foreboding in the book. agreed!

      • Mottisjandra Mercado

        I think we all need a Richard Armitage in our lives <3

    • Kaylan Waterman

      also, a huge yes for long legs.

    • Haley Nahman

      I objectify my boyfriend’s ankles regularly and apologize afterward

  • Amelia

    Thank u everyone on this thread for solving my “wait wat why am I attracted to this guy” problem I have when walking down the street. it’s ALWAYS a combination of all of the below things…

  • Megan

    I love it when a guy explains something to me. Not in a condescending way, but in that “this is a thing I love and think is awesome and I just want to share it with another person” way. Like an earnest excitement about the world.

    Also, reading anything out loud to me, making something with your hands, and having a beard. All good things.

    • Kelsey

      Yes to explaining something and to reading aloud. My wife works in fitness and she always explains exercises to me with such intensity- I love it.

    • Jasmin Sander

      Earnest excitement about the world! Yes so into this!

    • Megan Cunningham

      100% agree!! With all of the things you said, but especially explaining things they love and reading aloud.

  • Velo

    watching my very tall bf cooking for me in his tiny kitchen

    • Kaylan Waterman

      GIRL. THIS ALL DAY.

  • Kaylan Waterman

    When someone remembers what I like and don’t like without being reminded. Ie: picks the raisins out of every damn muffin that thought raisins would somehow make it better, just for me.
    Shoulders.
    LIKES SWEETS. I have an immediate distrust for people who don’t like sweets.
    Honest about vices.
    A solid, non-serious argument when you’re just meeting someone. I’m pretty confident so it’s kind of a turn on when someone steps to me in public for some mental gymnastics.
    Likes dancing, but doesn’t do it super well. Kind of proves he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Or loves music so much he can’t help himself. Which are both turn on’s for me. (RHYTHM a huge plus).
    Quiet, non-pushy confidence. Quiet strength just shouts louder for me than overstated aggression.
    Makes the bed. When I walk by my room when he’s over and the bed is just suddenly made, I kind of die a little.

    • Abigail Thacher

      Remembers what foods you hate!!! I can’t stomach dill and my BF will always caution me if something has it.

      • Kaylan Waterman

        love that! <3

  • emily moran

    When my dude either A. Shows concern/care for my plants or B. Mentions future daughters and how rad it would be if they were interested in stem (we’re both artists). Also, not into super cut dudes but when guys wear a soft tee shirt and you can see their natural bicep from the view point of the inner arm. Dear lord.

  • Blythe

    My husband is a very quiet + reserved dude, so when he has to be stern with the internet/phone/water/electric people on the phone I SWOOOOON SO HARD

  • L

    I really wonder what the guy equivalent of this is! What totally normal things are we doing all day that are making men’s hearts beat faster???

  • Maria Teresa Sousa

    I think I have a thing for guys who I think they’re gay. Basically when I realise they’re not, the only thing I discover is that they feel good with themselves, they don’t have any preconceptions and most of them like to take ootd selfies. This happened with my current boyfriend and I still can’t believe he’s real, because he’s like my stylist and the most “woman empowerment” fanboy I know.

  • Meghan Johnson

    Hair just starting to go gray.

    • Kaylan Waterman

      YES! no has mentioned this yet! Silvering foxes all the way.

  • Sasha

    In the last year I have developed massive hots for comedians mainly Jason Mantzoukas, Nick Kroll, and Taika Waititi. Comedians were NEVER my thing, like going to I think it has to do with the fact that comedians have to have insanely large egos, but have to make complete fools of themselves in order to get the job done.

    • Inaat

      Yes!! to Jason mantzoukas, also kinda love his voice

  • Caroline Tribe

    When I see a man carrying a book-bag I hyperventilate and get weak in the knees. READ ALL THE BOOKS TO ME.

  • Laura Omodt

    When texts me to ask for a face cleanser recommendation. Or when he gets all giddy upon asking if I want to do a crossword puzzle with him. Couldn’t choose between the two.

  • Abigail Thacher

    Bilingualism! (or trilingualism) Love hearing my BF speak his mother tongue

    • Imaiya Ravichandran

      this is such a good one.

    • Camila Restrepo

      YES! I totally agree! I’m actually really turned on when I hear German (yes, yes, I know) and I used to hate the sound of it, but now I find it weirdly attractive and sexy. I once asked a Swiss German guy to talk in German to me (cue Jason Derulo song) and it was soo sexy.
      I know the more convential “attractive” languages will be Spanish, French, Italian etc, but I speak those so maybe that’s why I been finding German appealing.

      • Livmarie

        You are not alone on the German thing!

  • Kaylan Waterman

    WAIT. Can we talk about hiking boots???
    Lives in city, loves the outdoors is HOT. If he owns a pair + camping gear, love that a LOT.
    I once dated an ex-dairy farmer turned academic who’d hiked the AT and it was a pretty good combo.

    • nelgracev

      OHhhhh eff me

    • Alli

      I’m screaming, “ex-dairy farmer turned academic who’d hiked the AT” is everything

  • Beatriz Medeiros

    Beard + hair on the same height, when they are kind of a smooth frame made by nature.

  • Beatriz Medeiros

    Beard + hair on the same height, when they are kind of a smooth frame made by nature.
    Also, my bf is a great music producer and video maker, i love to listen to talking about complicated stuff (like sound waves, beats and the physics behind it) and to see thw stuff he makes – basically, seeing how talented and passionate he is.

  • Lindsey Hook

    I had a guy friend in college who I didn’t find attractive until I saw him very expertly cut and light a cigar. My best friend was standing there too and I literally saw her jaw drop, the hotness took us so off-guard. I guess just the confidence of it?

  • Jordan Masters.

    Butt chins. I don’t know if it’s a Clark Kent fetish or what, but my boyfriend has the most beautiful butt chin in the world and covers it up with a BEARD. Unsure if he’s just trying to keep me hooked through the whole play hard to get thing but real into the beauty that is the small butt on his face.

  • hailey thompson

    Intellectual comedians.

    The ones who wear stained clothing not because they think it’s cool, because they genuinely don’t know which way is up when is comes to getting dressed.

    The ones who can roll a joint better than me.

  • Eliza

    I’m really, REALLY into a guys who give off the appearance of an outdoorsy slacker (I love guys who fish/ski and own way too many flannels etc.), but they wear glasses, so I instantly take them more seriously. Glasses are a very serious plus in my book. Speaking of the outdoors, building a fire is a huge big turn on as well.

    Should I move to the woods? LMK.

  • Danielle Cardona Graff

    I love hands and forearms, and the hair on the back of a man’s hands going up the wrist…more hair than less hair, but definitely not TOO MUCH hair! I also love men that know how to cook and eat well, or rather, I tend not to be attracted to those who don’t.

  • Elin

    This is very off topic but I feel like we need a piece on Harry Styles’ music video that came out today because cute kids in AMAZING suits that I need in my life (and size).

  • Olivia Lauren Hawk Moore

    Like genuinely confident (not cocky) in ANYTHING. My now husband got me to go on a date with him because he so confidently stepped to the center of a dance floor and rapped every.single.word to Yeah! by Usher.

    Doesn’t have to be a practical skill, just be proud of yourself for doing it, you sexy thang.

    • Alli

      YEAH! IS AN ANTHEM I CAN RAP THE WHOLE THING TOO BLESS YOUR HUSBAND

  • Imaiya Ravichandran

    when he pulls u up to kiss u after a [redacted]

  • Ashley Minyard

    I find men getting into music but doing it terribly to be really attractive and endearing. Like, singing karaoke badly and forgetting the words but having a good time and getting into it anyway, or dancing in a really goofy way but for his own entertainment.

  • Emily

    If I can see a little ankle showing between a perfectly rolled pant cuff, and a sneaker, loafer, boatshoe – no thongs (flip flops) – I’m home and hosed.

    • Ashley Minyard

      Ugh YES. Especially skinny little ankles going up the stairs of the subway.

    • emma

      YES! The only thing better than a cuffed pant is when they get them tailored so they stop right before the ankle – wow.

  • Caroline

    Young dads. Give me an early 30s dad saddling up his kid with a back pack and I am undone.

    • Rachel Hardin

      PRAISE BE TO THAT.

    • Michelle

      I once saw a young dad having dinner with his 5 year old daughter (who was dressed up as Snow White, in the middle of summer) at Whole Foods. Swoon.

      • Caroline

        gorgeous

  • Julia

    My fiance is a farmer and for some reason seeing him driving a tractor, semi truck, or some other giant piece of machinery turns me on. It is very sexy.

  • Annie O’Brien

    Backpacks. Every man I’ve ever fallen for has entered my consciousness as “that guy who showed up quietly to the party wearing a backpack”. It’s taken me a decade to unpack (!) this turn-on, but it boils down to the fact that I imagine the man in question likely gets around by bike or skateboard or public transportation, and needs to carry more than just a wallet and phone. In my fantasy, they’re opposed to cars for political and environmental reasons, and carry sketchbooks and interesting snacks. In reality, they’re usually weed dealers that somehow can’t afford cars, but either way, I’m a sucker for a worn in Jansport.

  • Bo

    Lightly greying hair on the temples. Also if the time comes when they decide to grow facial hair, if there’s some grey flecks in the resulting beard or whatever I’d be really satisfied with that

  • I should just stop reading the comments now. Am getting WAY too excited for my age and my marital status. So much sexiness should come with warnings!

  • Eliza Jackson

    When a guy rolls up with a canvas tote bag I pass away a little <3

  • Alison Weinreb

    I love when my boyfriend is super into watching Real Housewives with me and gets riled up during the episodes about how much he likes/ dislikes a character! It cracks me up and makes me so happy that we share the same guilty pleasure of watching garbage TV. Also I love when he folds laundry and asks if certain things should be hung to dry or can be put in the dryer.

  • Daniel Szilagyi

    Haha i love the comments here, such a good time 🙂

  • Inaat

    When a man is secure in himself and who he is. A man that lets me have my own life. Good work ethics. Love good forearms and hands with some veins, maybe tattoos. Oh, and tall!

  • Madeline C

    Ambition.

  • Lily

    ok banjo players. I am a bluegrass fiddler by trade (and have dated banjoists) and I gotta say, excellent banjo playing is at the top of my list of weird attributes that turn me on.

  • Louise

    A man with a surfboard under one arm and a wetsuit with the top part taken off and folded down low on his waist. Wetsuit position mandatory.

  • s

    hearing my bf speak fluent french (we’re not french)

  • Molly Messner

    Very attracted to observational comments. It’s nice for someone to say that you have nice eyes, or that you’re beautiful or whatever.

    But I love it when a man (or in general, any person) can make a comment about what they like about you, that’s about something you like. Or about something you’re interested in. Or something that they could only comment on if they’ve paid attention to you. Less surface level i suppose, and shows they’re trying to figure you out. Also going hand in hand, is when someone uses your name. Ik it’s a cheesey networking trick to get people to like you, but damn idk what it is but I love how intentional something can sound when your name is used.

    • Lindsey

      Yes! Even as a married person, I realize we never really say each other’s names anymore. It’s mostly like, “hey babe”. But when he says my name, either to me or to someone else I’m like, damn, my name sounds good in your mouth…

  • M. Taylor

    Calves. Gimme dem bulky, sinewy, skier calves that can barely be stuffed into the pant legs of skinny jeans. I would also 100% like to jump in on the good vocabulary bandwagon, and add that if a fella can hold up his end of a conversation (witty banter makes me weak in the knees) I am 110% more likely to try and jump his bones.

    I also feel that butts have been underrepresented in this commentary. Who doesn’t love a perky lil Greek statue bum? Amazing.

    • nelgracev

      Lol YES to all this

    • Kattigans

      My BF has the calves and cute behind to boot. He also has chest hair that I love

  • Kam

    I like a man with good nails, the shape specifically. Wide and clean but not perfectly manicured. Also, I’m here for a dude rereads classic literature and has a dry, like desert air, sense of humor. Love it.

  • Emily M

    when a guy with long wavy hair just runs his hand through it and flips it to the other side, or throws it up in a messy bun…dang. only brunettes though and preferably paired with scruff.
    when a guy is super sweet to his little sister or brother.
    also a weird thing happened in the grocery store yesterday where I watched a guy pull a reusable produce sack (+1000 for sustainability!!) out of his pocket and fill it up with freaking fresh herbs and I wanted to follow him out of the store.
    last one is a specific guy – Bon Appetit has been posting videos on Facebook of their test kitchen manager, Brad Leone, cooking and cracking jokes and omgggg he is amazing. I’m not the only one who thinks so, the comments are almost always from drooling women hahah

    • Abbey

      +1000 to Brad Leone. Pretty much everything about him is my type.

      Unintended consequence is that I now am weirdly into the way he pronounces “water.”

      • Emily M

        YES “wourder” I love it

  • Jeanne

    I love when a man crosses his legs over one another! Talking knees stacked, not ankle to knee. Something about it! It looks very european and not macho whatsoever. Turnoff: any man in practicing man spreading.

    • Eliza

      omg yeeessssssssssss

    • My bf does this and I agree!

  • Molly Schulte

    men wearing cardigans and drinking tropical cocktails. i’ve never met someone doing both at the same time, but i’d probably like it if they did.

  • Alexandra Queiroz

    There’s this guy from work who smells sooooo goooood! Like someone who’s just got out of the shower, which I suppose is the case. I’m very particular about smells and his is just perfection. Anyway, we work together so I keep things professional. But the other day I was having coffee and he asked me what kind of music I like. Anyway, we talked about bands and he mentioned he plays the guitar and he used to be in a band. Well, I was never really super into musicians, until two days ago HE SENT ME A VIDEO OF HIM PLAYING THE GUITAR – OMG! Super normal video, just him, at home, playing. Foo Fighters, one of my favorite songs, and he actually plays really well. That just makes me want to sniff him even more – which I haven’t!
    Anyway, I’ve been out of the office this week but I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll probably see him. If that’s not a real life romcom in the making, I don’t know what is!

  • Diana McNeill

    When I catch my boyfriend playing with my nephew (or any small child) in a really sweet way. Also, when he holds a baby. I think I want a baby.

    • meme

      Ovaries explotion

  • Chloe

    My boyfriend has amazing hands and forearms but then he has these tiny little bony wrists that I’m OBSESSED with for some reason. He’s so self conscious about them but they’re lowkey the cutest part of him.

    • Alli

      Yooo I feel this

  • Caro A

    One time my bf told me about a former FWB he had and the fact that both of them were super upfront and didn’t want a relationship and were so honest with each other and no one had hurt feelings or left heartbroken lit me UP. It was like, yeah! You GO being honest with your intentions! So, basically, honesty and being clear w your intentions turn me on.

  • Sophie

    My best friend loves an injury, like a man limping after a football game or bruised or a cut lip, or broken bone. I think she fantasises that they kiss her and want to be with her through the pain. It is definitely not a maternal instinct, she doesn’t want to care for them. She loves that “just shrug it off” attitude and the sort of delicate and careful treatment of injuries juxtaposed to frantic passion. It now also includes her own injuries, like a bruise that is pressed and he is careful with it … but maybe teases it. SO RESPECT THIS ATTRACTION.

    • Sophie

      As for me, I like a bit of extra weight round the middle, a lil soft tum. For the warmth in the winter and also that ‘heavy’ feeling when we cuddle or if he’s on top of me.

  • Maddafakka

    Dog owners. End of discussion.

  • Anna

    My fiancé and I (both bisexual) both have the same “type” in a guy, funnily enough: basically Seth Cohen. Similarly, give the both of us someone who looks like Seth Rollins any day. Apparently we have things for sexy guys named Seth, as well as sexy guys named Ryan. Get yourself a guy whose type is also your type, it’s great! 😂

    • Charlie

      Seth Cohen forever and ever! I still need annabiotics to get over him. (Also a little bit weird so it fits this list… Sandy Cohen is incredibly attractive too)

  • I’m scrolling through these comments and cackling at the things that people find attractive in men!!! For me, I just love when a girl has a unique laugh. But that probably isn’t so weird? I honestly can’t think of anything super particularly odd or specific… I fall in love with half the girls I meet tbh…

  • Ok, actually, I came up with something. I love a girl with a big nose. Big noses are SO CUTE.

  • Alexandra Queiroz

    Beard and manly hands, definitely always. Also, a nerd who likes basketball (yeah, I know…) A guy who does something meaningful to help others, either because it’s his day job or some kind of volunteer work.

  • Megan

    Gap between two front teeth like (Obama’s) Jon Favreau

  • Marta

    When he wears red hoodies! Good forearms a big plus

  • shananana

    freckles! My husband has freckles AND a front tooth gap, that I find so uniquely him and vv swoonworthy <3

  • When my partner pours everyone else a drink with one hand –with his sleeves rolled up and in an apron– before pouring one for himself whilst chatting away nonchalantly my panties metaphorically drop

  • Kate Faehnle

    When he RECYCLES.

    DAAAYYYYUM

  • When he tells me he believes in me. And speaks French. Oh, and wears black tees with jeans. Swoon!

    http://www.shessobright.com

    • Erin Bushey

      Black t-shirt with jeans is the best!

  • Erin Bushey

    When he puts his hand on the small of my back in public – more relatably, his touch in general. Touch is my love language and any time we are sitting or walking or laying, when he brushes his hand over my arm or leg or back or anywhere, it’s just bliss.

  • Meghan

    Honestly, butts.
    A nice butt in a well fitting pair of Chinos… woofda.
    Come to mama.

  • Natalie Prusich

    Crossing his legs while sitting. If he’s sitting on a low back chair or couch and both of his arms are resting over top, even better.

  • Kattigans

    Any man with really nice calves, also a really good jawline. I also have a thing for guys wearing henley shirts. Something about a guy in a henley. It reminds me of an old American Eagle ad. Idk..also any guy in a suit like ever.

    I also have a thing for names. Certain names are so sexy to me

  • Natalie Prusich

    Crossing his legs while sitting. If he’s sitting on a low back chair or couch and both of his arms are resting over top, even better.

  • Jessica

    Scars! Tough-looking face (esp eyebrow) scars are the best. See: Tommy Flanagan, Jason Momoa, Mads Mikkelsen in Casion Royale. Oh my days, be still my beating heart.

    • Yael

      YES to scars! Or burns, or cuts, or scratches. My boyfriend currently works as a barista and I’m ashamed to admit that I’m dreading the day he gets an “adult” job where he wont come home with a new work-related-injury weekly.

    • Camila Restrepo

      Mads Mikkelsen—–SWOON! Yess! People also think I’m weird for finding him attractive but that man…. *hear shaped eyes*.

  • Kelsey

    First time I saw my future boyfriend he was in my office wearing slim fitting chinos and I had to get up and walk away from my desk……something about biz clothes and a nice waist gives me major hearts for eyes. Then a few months later he added glasses to the mix and I almost died!

  • Sarah

    Men who more interested in having a discussion with me than telling me how great they think they are.

    I’ve been on so many bad dates where guys talked about themselves the entire time about mundane parts of their lives rather than letting me get a peep in – the worst was the time I went out with a barista and he explained FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES how he makes lattes.

  • NikNak

    When men or women love chocolate or sweets…like can’t wait to go home to eat this together kinda person.

  • LaurenG

    A BEARD!
    I fear the day my BF (whom I have never seen without his beard) will surprise me by shaving everything! Haha

    But at the same time, I’d be curious for once to be able to kiss him without having to battle with his upper-lid beard hair getting into my nose……

  • Phoebe

    Someone who actually can dance by themselves. Always.

  • melanie knox

    I love an exposed male ankle. One time a former lover hadn’t done laundry so he went commando(?) in his shoes and I lost it. I bought him 3 packs of no-show socks the next day.

  • Mershane

    When a guy has serious control over his dog.

  • Hudson Berry

    i love a guy who knows his way around a grocery store. meaning, as soon as he passes through the automatic sliding doors, it’s ON. i love to watch a focused man execute his grocery list while politely interacting with strangers. sigh

  • LT

    I found it inexplicably sexy when a boyfriend taught me how to use excel. It took all of my strength not to sit on his lap while he explained how the tab key worked.

  • mlc

    the back of a guy’s neck, as the hair starts growing thicker as it goes up. so sexy

  • Anna

    Thighs!! Huge meaty thighs.. more specifically, QUADS. Nothing turns me on more than a hard flexed muscular quad.

  • Alex

    Love it when my guys voice gets deeper when he’s on the phone with someone or when I get a glance of him being ‘serious’ at work. OH and when he all the sudden knew how to play bass? God damn. Also that tiny moment when they clench their jaw. Also laugh lines/crows feet and a little salt and pepper.

  • Sugar Bones

    Y’all! I was hanging here reading these awesome comments, trying to identify the *thing* that does it for me… and my dude comes home with surprise chicken fingers for me. Thing = identified.

    • Sugar Bones

      But for real, when a person is really doing something they are passionate about, I swoon.

  • Talia

    When a guy has really close friends who he tells everything to and isn’t afraid to show that he loves them.
    Also when they have tattoos and tell me the story of each one

  • Molly

    I always tell my husband I wish I could see him dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror! Hairy and legs that are to die for! In lingerie! Omg!

  • Coco

    When I got in the car on our first date, the man who is now my husband, had been listening to jazz, and that was the most surprisingly sexiest thing to myself at the age of 28. I had never liked jazz, but the fact that when he turned his car on and it came on it just made me feel like he was so mature in a cool way and still makes me woozy.

  • Rachel karp

    Really nice phalanges and finger joints. Also a really good pair of raw denim.

  • Julia Ruiz

    I love when a man drinks his coffee black.

  • Malfunction

    rrththtyhythr

  • Eweeze

    Recently had a date involving pool. Billiards. Call it what you want. Attraction went from 0-100.

  • Jojo

    My first experience that gave me sexual chills was when my friend came over and used my pens without asking. This continued on throughout high school. It turned me on when they drew into my books with my pens to a point where I couldnt use them properly anymore. I am still trying to figure out what it is that makes this so attractive but I guess it’s the boldness and self confidence. Gosh I am so weird hahaha

  • Basil

    When I was in my twenties, it was watching a guy roll a joint and then licking the paper to close it. Oh man, it still makes me swoon
    Now I’m in my 30s, married with kids – it’s things like fathers with young kids taking them to the park (particularly if the mother isn’t there because chances are – it means he’s taken the kid so she can have a lie in), pretty much whenever my husband does anything with our son, like when they read together or he tickles him, or when he ended up eating really bland food for months because I had bad morning sickness and couldn’t stomach anything else. Also – men in suit trousers and shirts. The other week I was near my husband’s work (we work quite far from each other), and I unexpectedly ran into him while I was going for coffee and he was going out with a colleague for lunch – I see him every day dressed like that, but unexpectedly just made me swoon

  • Gabriela

    I love feeling needed and when a guy shows some vulnerability. My ex would fall asleep on my chest while I stroked his hair and it drove me crazy.

  • When I’m driving and my boyfriend puts his hand on my thigh, amazing.

  • Andy

    theres just something about guys who wear suede shoes with a rounded toe (mostly brogues) that is just *100%* yummy!

  • Viivi

    SPEECH PROBLEMS/DEFECTS – my ex boyfriend stuttered – I loved him so much because of it, any dispute would end in me loving him more when he started to stutter. And all my boyfriends actually had something – stuttering, doing that french “r” while not being french, or, ultimately, foreign accents.

    Actually, as I think of it, also any weird physical traits keep me going and make me feel comfortable, because they make the guys “human”.

  • tiabarbara

    any guy who puts effort into their wardrobe is instantly attractive to me. and it doesn’t even have to be suits or designer clothes, just a guy who knows his way around a wardrobe and makes sure he’s presentable and put together well is so attractive.

    ironically, my two ex-boyfriends had zero sense of style. my last one once tried to go out in public with a water bladder – as in the flat bottles designed for camping backpacks – clipped onto the belt loop of his cargo shorts. i refused to be seen with him looking like that, it was SO embarrassing.

  • Any girls here for an adam’s apple avec stubble?

  • My bf is very gentle and caring with animals, and really into learning about them with documentaries etc. And it’s made even better by the fact that he’s this really tall super masculine looking guy with a beard being so careful with a little kitten/puppy/whatever. So attractive and he has no idea.

  • meme

    DEEP VOICES, specially singing.

  • Erin

    my husband’s collar bone…sigh. And white track pants/white t shirt.

  • molly_maureen

    when my husband does yard work and gets grass clippings and dirt all over him and his hair is messed up and he’s sweaty but like in a hot way… I don’t understand it, but this turns me on so much. also, he doesn’t wear glasses (yet) but he has a fake pair from a Halloween costume and it gets me all kinds of hot and bothered when he wears them. glasses + beard = 🤤(drooling)

  • hannah

    adorable glasses on a very masculine and structured face

  • Priyanka Raveendran

    When a guy pushes his glasses upwards on the bridge of his nose – done deal!

  • Layla

    I have recently developed an attractiveness to moustaches.
    Also, plaid unbuttoned shirts (cliché, but still).

  • Anna Elling

    I’m 73 and it still gets me going when my boyfriend is doing some rebuilding. More so when I have to keep the ladder steady and I’m very near to him.

  • sarah

    Hip hop dance skillz. I can’t dance myself – I’m as coordinated and smooth as the tin man – but I could watch matt steffanina (check his insta) all day long. Also see: Nick Offerman popping and locking on Jimmy Fallon. WHAT.

  • Rachel

    imma just gonna leave this here:

    https://www.instagram.com/hotdudesreading/?hl=en

    • mia |-/

      yes READING

  • mia |-/

    I was wandering nolita the other day with a friend and found a group of bikers in a park playing like… bike hockey? It was super intense and this one guy was kind of lanky with a lot of tattoos and glasses and a serious mustache and he kept doing crazy bike tricks and I literally couldn’t finish a sentence I was mesmerized.

    • oh my god DO NOT even get me started on the cyclist + tattoos + facial hair combo i cannot.

  • Maayan

    squinty eyes (think channing tatum, ezra miller. etc.) but not because of some cliche idea of sexiness. i find it much more desirable, to have a guy look at me through a sort of halfway eyelid curtain. makes me feel safe and unexposed. don’t like big round eyes, nope. those aren’t for me.

  • Jay

    This is a bad one to admit. But I have this thing for guys who are really self-confident, up to the point of really full of themselves. I like it when they make decisions themselves. Take the lead on things. And treat me in a protective way. Not that I am a bad feminist, not at all. And I do – and this is the weird thing – I oppose to it, and I love opposing to it… Well basically I love strong characters who can compete with my strong character.

  • Jay

    And Haley, I relate to being into a certain degree of nerdiness. Like when they are super enthusiastic about something. And tell you all over again. So you are annoyed. But it is kinda cute…

    Is that weird?

  • Jay

    Oh, and when it comes to looks: Something dark. Something intriguing. Something saying „you cant read my mind“. Cause that triggers the „hell, yeah I can“ in me.

    (Super competitive me…)

  • Miranda Babbitt

    Dancing. Fa sha. When a guy can bust some serious moves, my knees buckle.

  • Leonarda Komen

    crows feet, smiling without showing teeth… everything that could remind you of a young Heath Ledger. also sun tan, or that rosy cheeks when you come in from the cold.

    also on a ski trip, went out to the balcony to have a cigarette, there was a guy on the next balcony in ski tights and helmet, nothing else on. quite hot.

    also, eating. I don’t know what it is, but if a guy eats in a nice way I love it!

    but, babes, sense of humor beats it ALL.

  • Alli

    REALLY PRONOUNCED SMILE LINES always get me! Aaaaaaaaa. Also when a guy is both intellectual and artistic, especially musical. I am a SUCKER for a classical musician and/or a warm bass voice. Little things: enjoys wearing color, has a big sweet tooth (and affirms mine!), kinda lanky arms with nice hands, longish smooth/curly hair (bonus points if you can actually tell he takes care of it helllllloooo), square glasses, nice lips, snuggly, appreciates cats, soccer player bod

    • Alli

      omg also a man drinking tea will always do it for me. esp if there’s a nice thicc mug involved and he’s holding it with both hands

      • Alli

        oh and COOL NAMES

  • Sam Stanley
  • kb

    Left handed-ness

  • one time i woke up, checked instagram, and two comments about the commoditization of meat popped out to me underneath a post by a chef i follow, written by my own boyfriend. i’m in academia and write about communicating climate change, and he’s not super up front about his opinions on contentious issues all the time. seeing him write a beautifully articulate response to a dumb and insulting comment about something i care deeply about made me want to run over to his apartment and jump his bones.

  • Lauren Thompson

    This one might be odd… but Hopper dancing in Stranger Things. TOO MUCH FOR ME.

    • Lindsey

      Right there with you. Hopper is a dream man.

  • Lauren

    My boyfriend designs and builds custom furniture, and I get turned on imagining the kitchen we will have one day.

  • Hannah

    Shared deep thoughts, emotional breakdowns, big hands, lanky mofos, beards x100000000.

  • Kary Wayson

    why so hetero?????? i really love a woman’s pantylines.

  • Senka

    Biggish, burly, bearded and into food. Also when a big guy wears a nice well fitted suit jacket. Confidence but without being arogant. Earnest, genuine laughter. Strong forearms.
    When a guy can keep conversation and has various interests. Some body hair is nice too. Darkish.

  • When I see someone do stuff confidently, and determinedly, which could be anything, really. He’s just about to make a dang good omelette? Wow. He’s got his concentration face while typing away on his computer in a speed that’s dangerously close to Usain Bolt’s PB? So hot. He’s carrying a bag full of this week’s groceries? ‘So what do you think about marriage?’

  • Aistė Bakutytė

    when a guy can play an instrument ahhh…

  • sara_math

    i’m honestly just attracted to men who don’t have an aggressive male energy to them? beards and style and silky skin, are cool for sure. but, really, if you are comfortable with yourself [like…unconcerned with being “cool” and unafraid of being vulnerable] and laugh and riff jokes with me then i’m pretty much sold.

    oh, but no thin lips though.

  • Lindsey

    Reasons I was (and still am) incredibly attracted to my now-husband:

    1. His voice. The first time I saw him, I actually heard him first, speaking up in a class we were in. His voice was soooo sexy. Kind of soft, but strong at the same time? AND he was super eloquent. Major turn on.
    2. His forearms/hands. Strong, but delicate (long fingers).
    3. HE LOVES POETRY MORE THAN ANYTHING.
    4. Total artist in all the ways, but can change a tire, fix the clogged kitchen sink, etc etc. He’s an Eagle Scout! But also a musician, writer, editor, and paper-enthusiast.
    5. He has so many smile lines around his mouth and eyes. Deeeeep, crows feet. His eyes are just so crinkly! I call them turtle eyes, because honestly they remind me of the sweet wisdom I imagine when I look at sea turtles. I LOVE THEM.
    6. He is a caretaker to the nth degree. He loves to look after me, and I love it.
    7. HIS BUTT. It’s like an apricot. Small and tight and so freakin perfect.

    Honestly, I could go on. But like, those are things I find attractive about almost any man. I’ve just never found that full combination in one person before, so I married him when I found it.

    • Alli

      hi I just wanna say I am SO happy that you have found this man he sounds marvelous and I hope yall treasure each other forever

  • Madison Morris

    Guys concentrating on things. When I’m sitting at a desk or a table with a guy and he leans in and furrows his brows to try to understand something. I don’t know it just gets me going.

  • Luisa

    Men who wear double monk strap shoes with funky socks. Also, men wearing woolen sweaters. The bigger the better.

  • Megan Cunningham

    This may not be that unconventional, but my 29-year-old fiance has a natural, fairly prominent gray streak in the very front of his hair that I LOVE. He’s fairly young-looking, but the stripe makes him look so distinguished and I just melt

  • The display on my microwave is broken so my boyfriend wrote out a math equation for how to heat up his fave Trader Joe’s frozen meal that requires heating it a couple times at different heat levels. He put it on a little sticky note and put it over the display. Idk why that turned me on so much?

  • Allegra

    straight noses turn me on. it’s ridiculous but that side profile does something to me idk. also hands. and juicy lips. and that clean- grungy kind of look, like skater boys or hikers or farmers that are always a little dirty and on the rough side but it’s a good clean dirt….

  • I have no idea why, but every time my boyfriend reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, I find it SO VERY SEXY. And no, I don’t find the wallet/money aspect hot, I find the actual physical act of him getting out his wallet irresistible, maybe because his forearm flexes? And because he’s kind of touching his butt? But really? I have no idea.

  • Sarah

    I was reading this a couple of days ago and could not figure out the weirdly erotic things that get the hairs on my neck to stand up. And then today, whilst shopping for toothpaste the epiphany came – I love watching a man clean his teeth. The more thorough, the better and extra points if he flosses as well. Smoking cigarettes? Meh. Good dental hygiene? Yas please.

  • Maria

    Watching a guy do mental math. I had to do a stats project with a boy in college and he was so smart and quick I nearly fell in love with him

  • B.

    Left handed people. I’ve always found it fascinating, dont ask me why.
    Also I am attracted to any artistic skills, from drawing to writing to playing instruments, I just melt.

  • KiloHelen

    This is truly bizarre even to me who experienced it, but my ex had feet that were barely longer than mine and he spent most weekends reading and writing (grad student) in boxer briefs and birkensocks. There was just something about those hobbit feet in slouchy, two-tone knit socks that was irresistibly cute and comforting, like he was perfectly-proportioned to me and his low-ceilinged apartment.

    It wasn’t an “oh my god, yes, soooo hot” sort of feeling, but intensely comforting and sweet. I guess maybe my real turn-on was domesticity all along.

  • Kristina Cheng

    In high school I tested out of an entire grade level of math because the boy I liked was two years ahead and I wanted to have that in common with him. I probably would have done it on my own anyway but those math skills really drew me in… and 10 years later we’re still together!