Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Just Extended Cuffing Season
11.27.17

BREAKING: Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have officially extended the international phenomenon known as Cuffing Season by conveniently announcing their long-anticipated engagement the day after Thanksgiving weekend.

The newly betrothed couple held a photocall this morning at Kensington Palace to pose for their official engagement photos and answer a few questions. When asked when he knew Meghan was the one, Harry said, “The very first time we met.”

Meghan said she is “so happy.”

BOOM. CUFFED.

And what a cuffing it is! In addition to starring in USA Network’s legal drama, Suits, Meghan is a global ambassador for advocacy organization World Vision Canada. She’s a women’s rights activist for the United Nation’s Women’s Political Participation and Leadership program and is outspoken about issues surrounding gender equality and women’s empowerment. So, yeah, she’s probably a pretty discerning individual, including when it comes to sweatpants partners. Winter is quite long, and quite cold, after all. You can’t just cuff your stuff to any old scruff.

A quick refresher if you’re not familiar with the time-sensitive, romantic delight that is Cuffing Season: It’s a survival technique wherein men and women secure (sometimes temporary) mates to cuddle up with during the winter months and engage in a smattering of cuddly couple activities including but not limited to ordering pasta bolognese on Seamless, lying under a comforter and watching hours of (literal) Netflix.

Cuffing Season begins the first kinda-cold post-summer weekend when you’d really rather stay in and roll around in your own musk than entertain the idea of putting on pants and boots and lip balm and go out. Cuffing season ends when…well…there’s an ongoing debate about that.

Traditionalists believe that Cuffing Season ends right before Thanksgiving; if you’re not cuffed by the time the last bit of leftover turkey meat makes its way into someone’s sandwich, you’re screwed. Others operate under the slightly more forgiving sentiment that Cuffing Season ends right after the holidays (January 1st, if you’re being exact). Regardless, time is very much of the issue, and the sooner your wrist is metaphorically attached to another human’s, the better.

That’s where Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s big news comes in. Like a groundhog’s evasive shadow, their cuffing is auspicious enough to extend Cuffing Season for at least another six weeks, possibly longer. The proof is in New York’s weather report for the week ahead, which predicts sunny skies and temperatures above 50 degrees. What’s the rush?

There isn’t one.

Take your time. Stretch your hamstrings. Dip your toes into as many jacuzzis as you please. Cuff yourself! Meghan and Harry are keeping an eye on the thermostat.

Photo by Eddie Mulholland-WPA Pool/Getty Images.

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