Monocycle, Episode 58
Finding Your Purpose
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Welcome back to Fridays with Monocycle. I could spend about 50 words apologizing for deceiving you when I made it sound like I was back with a vengeance in August (only to have since uploaded exactly two episodes), but it’s almost November, and November is the month of giving thanks and therefore, inadvertently, also the month of forgiveness, so let’s let bygones be what they are (bygones) and plunge forward, shall we? Such a sentiment actually fits in perfectly with the theme of today’s episode, so this is a well-timed segue, not to be confused with Segway, which could get you from point A to point B faster than a Geico-insured car.

Purpose! It’s about purpose. It’s 10 unadulterated minutes of me talking about purpose. I’ve done it before, but this time it’s different.

Here is the rundown: How to identify it (that thing that gets you out of bed in the morning and keeps you energized no matter what a day throws at you), why it’s important (it literally drives us), how you know when you’ve lost it (subjective answer, but for me, it manifested as anxiety-cum-depression), what to do when you want to find it (chill out and make it, stop trying to take it; sorry, this isn’t a real answer, I don’t actually know what to tell you to do when you want to find your purpose other than to be patient, because eventually, it does find you again), and how to nurture it when it’s back. I tried something different for this episode and wrote it out before I spoke it, so if I sound like I’m reading off a teleprompter that’s because I am. If you want to read the transcript, I can definitely arrange that (perhaps via newsletter), but for now, here’s what we’re working with.

And you know what I always say: no topic is off limits for intellectual dissection, so hit me up in the comments below.

Photo by Horst P. Horst/Conde Nast via Getty Images.

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  • Alexandra Hayes

    “You don’t get to make new purpose from old purpose, that’s just not how it works.” This line had me feeling all the feels. It’s real and honest and was everything I needed to hear tonight. Thank you

  • Claudia Garcia

    Writing on this discussion board or comments thread is already something I would not normally do – on any given day. But I felt compelled to share – after listening to this episode – that I’ve been following you/ManRepeller probably since 2013 or 2014. Back when you’d style yourself in your own apartment (I’m assuming) and you’d take what you’d call a “sexy” outfit and successfully “unsexify” it by adding all kinds of layers of interesting wardrobe components.

    With that, I must say that, if there were a cult I’d follow, it would be ManRepeller. I have followed along silently and seen the growth – ALWAYS compelled by your VOICE. It’s amazing to see how this has evolved and I even rep my ManRepeller hat all the time. I live in Miami and people get really confused by it (i’m not surprised).

    Sometimes I troll through the website and always feel renewed/inspired by the passion and excitement that all the articles are written with and I thank you for sharing these thoughts on this episode – as I am wading through my life looking for my purpose too.

    • I feel the same way 🙂 Man Repeller is such an inspiring, funny, human and relatable blog, and I’m so grateful it exists. Thanks for creating this special platform Leandra and all the Man Repeller crew!

    • Maren Douglas

      Omg another Miami reader!! Just wanted to say Hi, Hello, you are not holding the SoFlo MR fort down alone 🙂

      • Leandra Medine

        Thank God we created this space, without it I think I would feel lost 90% of the time.

  • Lizlemon

    I really needed this! I started a new job and while it’s helped me move out of my parents house it’s left me unfilled. It’s like what my favorite yoga teacher says “What we know is a cage the future unknown is full of creativity. ” I’m going to focus on trying new things and not focus on perfection to get passion and purpose in my life.

  • Alexandra Dalmacio

    Man Repeller has helped me become unapologetically vulnerable as how Leandra allowed her readers to actually learn as she goes through the process of her own life. As though Man Repeller is each and everyone’s personal diary/blog. The writers’ sense of relatability in their pieces ranges from the feeling of everything has been written down as either a realization from one’s old experience/habits or an oh-fuck-this-is-so-me-right-now kind of moment to as though it’s an entry about a close friend you can’t stop thinking about. Now, just a few gulp of air after listening to Leandra’s voice, she made me realize that our purpose can evolve the same way our fashion style does. To my left, in a bin of old goodies I look at a denim skirt that I was so into a couple of years ago and realizing that it doesn’t excite me the way it used to, however, as I glance over my go-to velvet slip-on dress I know that tonight I’d feel myself everywhere I go. Thank you MR.

  • me

    Can I get another Amen (Amen!)

    I’ve stuck in such a quagmire of malaise for the past several months that I can barely stand being around myself these days. I’m hoping this post will help inspire me to finally get off the damn couch & back out into the Great Big Wide World of Risk. My purpose must be out there somewhere!

    Thanks for the inspo – wish me luck, sis …. I’m really hoping I grow up to be like you one of these days.

  • a_shoni

    That’s always amazing how you feel that you’re all unique with your problems, decisions and fears and then you hear somebody talking about absolutely the same thing, somebody you’d never thought would deal with all this, like, ever. And it’s a good thing. Because only when you hear the same idea from everywhere — from your inner self and stupid Instagram quotes to podcasts, professional articles and random overheard conversations — only then you actually say to yourself :”Ok, probably it’s a sign. Maybe it’s finally time for me to make an effort and DO SOMETHING”.

    Thank you and keep talking:)