The best pickup line I have ever heard in the entire world was one I witnessed, too. My friend and I were at a bar. A guy we knew but didn’t know (you know) came up to us, introduced himself, hung around to chat a bit, then stood shoulder to shoulder — his right to her left — with my pal and asked, “If you were a pirate, on which shoulder would you keep your parrot?
He picked up his right hand to indicate above her left shoulder: “This one?”
Then he moved his right hand all the way across, over to her right shoulder: “Or this one?”
And just like that he had his arm around her in a delightfully awkward way, as though this were the 1950s and they were in high school, at the movies, on a date.
It did not work, if you were wondering. But I proceeded to use it. I think I asked just about every human in the bar that same pirate/parrot question. I loved it.
I love pickup lines in general. They’re often cheesy, but a lot of thought, bravery and dedication goes into making romantic mozzarella. So long as a line is not rude or gratuitously crass, I will always respect the execution (successful or not) of a hopeful dream. And don’t you wish you had one ready to go, just in case you were to unexpectedly lock eyes with a stranger?
I figured you might. Man Repeller partnered with Badoo, the dating app that can connect people from anywhere, with a name I’d like to nominate for the next baby hippo the internet adopts, to gather a series of pick up lines — in the form of haiku, no less. Our team and our team’s people sent over the best we’ve heard, the worst we’ve received and the ones we’re proud of delivering.
So click through, enjoy, and please, since initiating contact online with dating apps can be scary (although Badoo wants you to know: it doesn’t have to be!), try out your best lines — in haiku form, of course — on me.
Sign up for Badoo here if you’re looking for someone to drop one of your new lines on. You know what’s another great conversation starter — especially on a dating app? “What’s the best or worst pickup line you’ve ever heard…in the form of haiku?”