“Diet Avocados” Might Be a Thing Now

Avocados weren’t broken so someone fixed them

Collage by Louisiana Mei Gelpi

If there’s one thing I’ve always said, it’s that avocados need to be less fat. Rather than pen letters to my local congresspeople about laws I disagree with or write angry comments on my favorite celebrities’ ex-boyfriends’ Instagrams, I prefer to spend my free time filing complaint after complaint to scientists about avocados. It’s so nice to see that someone finally listened.

GrubStreet reports: “A fruit company over in Spain has invented an actual diet avocado — all the Instagrammability, only 30 percent of the fat.”

About time. Ice cream figured this out like a week ago?

Here’s what we (thanks to GrubStreet writer Clint Rainey) know about it:

+ It is made by Eurobanan’s Isla Bonita brand.
+ Its flavor is described as “mild,” its pulp “juicier.”
+ It ripens fast while oxidizing more slowly than that of the standard avocado. Per GrubStreet, food experts who tagged the news, “Advancements in Fruits,” this means it could “theoretically outlast a full-fat conventional avocado.”
+ Spanish heart-health advocates tested the fruit’s nutritional claims, and they’ve affixed a seal certifying that it does legitimately have almost one-third less fat.
+ It grows nearly year-round
+ Its official launch is later this month at a trade show in Madrid.
+ Eurobanan “only plans on selling it to Spaniards for the time being.”

I’ll gladly wait. We haven’t had a diet food this great since the 80s, and I never trusted that whole “good fats” movement anyway. Reminds me of the time a girl in my first grade class told me that dandruff was “the good kind” of lice.

Maybe this means big things for other foods that taste better on toast: salmon, peanut butter, almond butter, cashew nut butter, hazelnut butter, sunflower, butter, apple butter, actual butter — all kinds of butter, really, eggs, greek yogurt, olive oil, coconut (coconut really needs to get a grip), cheese.

Here’s hoping. I am just so sick of using Facetune on my avocado toast to make it look skinnier.

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  • Kristen J

    I love toast. And your list of things to put on toast.

  • LS

    Can we not have this article that doesn’t question diet culture, right after the one about accepting one’s body?

    • Celina Durgin

      It’s clearly satire. 🙂

    • eizhowa

      Satire is a very big thing on MR 🙂

  • Caroline Fallon

    Thank the heavens, we are all saved from the villainous avocado that plagues our bodies and toast.

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  • thought this might be real so rather than read it i came to comments to say, to hell with diet avocados or, while we are on the topic, measly avocado servings – get yourself a large haas, mash that baby up, spread it on some toast and add a drizzle of tahini with some chili flakes. all the calories, all the fats, all the good feels… be kind to your damn self <3

  • Leslee Soudrette

    I don’t even care about this weird strain of avocados. I mostly care about the GrubStreet author’s innumeracy and your failure to correct it.

  • Voovoo

    Coconut does need to get a grip. 😉 Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a ‘juicier’ avocado..the whole point of a good avocado, to me, is the creaminess. Plus, part of what makes an avocado healthy is that it has protein, I think..I don’t know the exact amount. But making it low-fat might mess with the protein content. Ugh. This news is actually almost as demoralizing as the Harvey Weinstein news. Nothing is sacred. Avocados…Liberal Hollywood…Nothing.