I Let Kanye West Dress Me for 5 Days (Kind Of)

If you’ve never placed an order on Amazon for a garment literally titled, “Sexy Underwear Women Sexy Lingerie Sleepwear Nightwear Fishnet Bodysuit Bodystocking,” I recommend it purely for the sake of having a really great story to tell at parties.

In addition to being great fodder for fashion week cocktail hour entertainment, not to mention the weirdest collection of words strung together in the history of the English language, it was also a vital hero piece collected in my pursuit of dressing like a Yeezy superfan for five days.

Let me backtrack for a second to provide some context for this unique situation.

If I were to ascribe an emotion experienced by the fashion community at large in response to each of Kanye West’s Yeezy collections, I would probably say:

Season 1: Starstruck
Season 2: Intrigued
Season 3: Curious
Season 4: Outraged
Season 5: Confused
Season 6: ?

The question mark following the as-yet-unseen-and-possibly-nonexistent Season 6 is how I found myself googling skin-colored spandex on a recent evening, because following Business of Fashion’s report that West’s show was cancelled this season, I took it upon myself to personally fill the Yeezy-shaped content sinkhole I foresaw widening on the horizon of the internet.

Day 1: Season 1

West’s debut collaboration with Adidas was a sea of sportswear rendered in various earth-tone shades with a hint of Rick Owens-meets-Haider Ackermann inspiration.  After selecting a look from the collection to emulate, I sought out the aforementioned bodystocking. It cost $8.40 and I consider it the investment of a lifetime.

I’ll admit I did not wear this ensemble outside the protective cocoon of Man Repeller HQ, only because the reaction amongst my coworkers was a sufficient enough test case for how people respond when you walk around with a visible crotch hole.

Day 2: Season 2

Looking back at photos of Yeezy Season 2, I can’t help but wonder if the aesthetic of Westworld’s robot storage facilities were inspired by West’s rows of naked-looking models lit from above with eerie fluorescent lamps. I actually think I just had an epiphany while typing that: is Westworld West’s world? Does Reddit know about this?!?!?!

Okay segue over but I’m not okay. Season 2 was the easiest to replicate because it was essentially just athletic-wear coupled with military-inspired outerwear. I wore this outfit to yoga after work and did not feel out of place.

Day 3: Season 3

I don’t know if you remember, but there were legitimate scalpers selling tickets outside of the Yeezy Season 3 show. At this point in West’s designer journey, we most certainly aren’t in Kansas anymore, Toto. Maybe we never were. Regardless of whether or not you like the clothes, you have to admit that West knows how to drum up excitement. It was at this show, in fact, that he announced his dream to be the creative director of Hermès, just for a couple of years. God I love him.

I struggled to choose my look because the collection was significantly more colorful than the previous two, and more “styled.” I ended up going with a fancified kneecap leggings ensemble that I would 100% wear for real in normal life. There’s something so luxurious-feeling about wearing leggings and heels in tandem.

Day 4: Season 4

Yeezy Season 4. I get chills just thinking about it. DO YOU RECALL THE BACKLASH? It was epic, and I don’t use that corny word lightly. The official start time for the show was 3 p.m. on Roosevelt Island, but attendees weren’t seated until 4 p.m., and the runway didn’t kick off until another 20 minutes after that. Oh, and it was boiling-hot out and models were fainting. DRAMA.

That being said, my Season 4 style recreation was the chillest of the bunch. The sensation of wearing head-to-toe sweats is akin to what I imagine rolling around on a cumulus cloud would be like, if that were indeed possible. I didn’t want to take off this outfit. I fully plan to wear it again, but probably with driving moccasins on my feet and lots of weird jewelry because I’m a maximalist. Sorry, Kanye.

Day 5: Season 5

West presented Yeezy Season 5 by projecting giant two-dimensional videos of each model onto a box in the center of a room at Pier 59. I presented Yeezy Season 5 with a two-dimensional mirror selfie in the center of a Nolita office space. Not that different, right?

This collection marked West’s foray into denim, which I was obviously keen to imitate, if only because the prospect of buttoning a jean jacket all the way up to the top like a blouse was strangely appealing to me. I looked like a mediocre country singer with a heart of gold, and I was into it.

Part of me thinks that the Season 6 cancellation reports are simply a genius Westian publicity stunt to drum up intrigue before surprising us all with a show to end all shows. I guess there’s no way of knowing until fashion week is officially over, but I’m dry-cleaning my bodystocking just in case.

Feature photo by Louisiana Mei Gelpi; Harling is wearing Jerzees sweatshirtJoe’s USA sweatpants and H&M boots in feature photo.

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  • Ashley Hamilton

    I’d wear most of these is that a problem?

    • Harling Ross

      def wearing the white sweatsuit again that’s for sure

    • agreed.

  • Jillian K

    This resourcefulness has me IMPRESSED

  • “I’m dry-cleaning my bodystocking just in case.” :))))

  • Harling…this post is ICONIC

  • starryhye

    OMG, I busted out laughing at the first outfit! Great stuff, Harling!

    • Lucy

      i cannot believe a crotchless body suit is now on my amazon search history !!! curiosity killed this cat

  • Michelle

    This is AMAZING. I’d wear season 2 outfit like every day.

  • Rosie

    Harling you’re an innovator. All of these outfits are *better versions of Kanye’s*!!!

  • Juliana Salazar

    L O L

  • Malin Lilja

    Loved this!!

  • tinygoldenpins

    I adore you.

  • Basil

    Another winning post from Hayley!

    And, she called low sling jeans weeks before Vogue https://www.vogue.com/article/thongs-hip-bones-trend-spring-2018?mbid=social_facebook
    Anna Wintour must be hiding in shame

  • Kristin

    I want another MR OV collab.

  • Natalia Soto

    i wore season five pretty much once a week all of my freshman year of high school. dare i say i’ll never get tired of denim on denim??

  • Pterodactyl111

    This kind of A+ content is why I come to MR.

  • Hava Skovron

    It’s articles like this that make me LOVE MR and read to the end of the article. 😂👏🏼 Harling!

  • If you like products with weird names like Sexy Underwear Women Sexy Lingerie Sleepwear Nightwear Fishnet Bodysuit Bodystocking, go to Aliexpress. There are millions of products with names like that for the third of the price of Amazon.

  • cool dresses….. first one is funny though..

  • Fransjejohanna

    LOVE these outfits on you!

  • muireann

    This just saved my day from being thoroughly crappy. Thank you!!

  • mapillski

    So can we just go ahead and call this post “Yeezy Season 6 – Brought To You By Outdoor Voices”

    Cause these looks are the same at a fraction of the price and double the functionality

  • Alejandra Pintos Anelo

    I find this amazing and I don’t even like Kanye West (or his fashion line).

  • Andy

    look, seasons 2 and 4 are legit do-able in the real world…right?

  • Ai-Ch’ng GB

    Such a great post! You’re so game, you’re wonderful 🙂

    Loving the cumulus cloud confection on you, and the all denim tuxedo.

    Also, (surprisingly for me, because I really hate leggings), the white half-legging look with the tan shearling jacket – the black headband in that look is great on you.

  • This is perfection MR content. Bravo!