I once received a text from a friend who decided last-minute to visit her parents upstate for the weekend and wondered if I would like to come along. I responded in the affirmative. Then I proceeded to have a small mental spiral because our exchange took place on a Wednesday and the weekend in question was…hmmm, how do I put this? IN TWO DAYS.
I ran through a mental list of all the things I would need (but didn’t have), including although not limited to: a hostess gift, bug spray, face sunscreen (I was running low on my favorite kind), something to read and new headphones. It was a lot.
With a plethora of work deadlines to attend to, not to mention the siren song of laziness, to which I respond like the horniest of sailors, I knew I’d have trouble finding the time and energy to schlep my 25-year-old limbs around to collect the above items in less than 48 hours.
So I did what any sane person would do: I ordered them all on Amazon. They arrived two days later without me barely lifting a finger (beyond my keyboard, that is).
This experience resulted in two epiphanies:
1. Amazon is kind of a real-life supermom for adults. Remember when you were a kid and you forgot your homework on your desk and you’d call your mom and she’d drive over to your school and sneakily drop it off for you? Yeah. That’s basically Prime shipping in a nutshell.
2. I need to be better prepared for impromptu summer weekend scenarios.
In response to the latter, I’ve begun amassing what I like to call “summer weekend care packages, from me” to keep in my Amazon shopping cart. One of the packages is to be deployed in the event that I take a spontaneous trip to the beach:
I put my wardrobe on a strictly yellow diet this summer per the instructions of fashion at large plus my personal cravings, and lo and behold, I didn’t find the perfect one-piece swimsuit — it found me. All the other items are gravy, but important gravy nonetheless, because I’m determined to look like a millennial version of Miranda Hobbes in this seminal scene while beachside.
The other package is to be deployed in the event that I stay in the city and have no plans other than hanging out with my own two elbows:
I will probably check a few things off my to-do list like “buy groceries” and “read,” for which I will obviously need a chic market bag and a chic book (thank you for the recommendations aplenty, comment section of Haley’s recent open thread). I threw in an iPhone fan and some blister Band-Aids, because those are urban climate must-haves in August. Oh, and a Snuggie, for prime air-conditioned snuggling.
If you’re thinking a grown woman preparing care packages for herself sounds a little childish, I will kindly remind you that Amazon is my mom and I fully disclosed that.
Collage by Edith Young; Images by Harvey Meston and Henry Clarke via Getty Images.