Editor’s note: The definition of “hot guy,” like the hot guy shirt itself, continues to evolve. He’s changed for the better over the years — and wears fewer fedoras. We’re a bit more selective about who we include in this auspicious category of mankind as a result. Read about the latest iteration of hot guys and the shirts he likes to wear here.
Last week, I was lying in bed circa 12:34 a.m., tossing and turning like the princess and her damn pea, unable to fall asleep because something — I wasn’t sure what — felt unresolved. Think Harling, think! And then it hit me. Of course. How could I be so daft? Man Repeller had yet to christen this year’s official Hot Guy Shirt.
As a memory refresher, please find the definitions for “Hot Guy” and “Hot Guy Shirt” (trademarked by Amelia Diamond) below:
Hot Guy, noun
The new metrosexual minus the term’s antiquation. They are trendy on purpose, receive some sort of monthly subscription box, appear on television or wish they appeared on television and, either way, have head shots set as their dating app default photos. They wear fedoras or have seriously considered it. Mostly, they are harmless.
Hot Guy Shirt, noun
THE shirt. You know, the one that finds its way into every man’s wardrobe over the course of the year in question. Past examples include: J.Crew’s gingham shirt (2015) and henleys (2016).
Minutes after my realization, I fell into a deep, deep sleep (likely induced by the relief of finally figuring out what I needed to accomplish combined with my body’s evolutionary instinct to seek repose in the hours leading up to a critical, mentally demanding assignment of this magnitude).
The next morning, I woke up refreshed and ready to investigate the matter for a minimum of five work hours. It took about five minutes. The results were that definitive. Ladies and gentlefreaks, allow me to present you with the Hot Guy Shirt of 2017: a black button-down.
I know. I was just as shocked as you (probably) are right now. When I announced my findings in Man Repeller’s weekly edit meeting, I was greeted with a myriad of responses including but not limited to: “ew,” “no,” “why?” and “ugh.”
Black button-down shirts have a bad rap, I think because they propel anyone who entered a nightclub in 2009 back to a slimy dance floor packed with too many grinding bodies, too much cologne and fog from a machine. But all it took was a few good-looking dads to turn their reputation from goober-bad-boy-wannabe staple to wholesome, all-American, “going-out” essential.
Enter: John Legend, Mahershala Ali, Ashton Kutcher and Matthew McConaughey. Bless these hot, civic-minded fathers. Thanks to them, black button-downs are now basically the only shirt young whippersnappers like Harry Styles will deign to wear out on the town. And why not? There’s a lot to love about black button-downs. They’re slimming, they go with everything and they handily mask a beer stain or twenty.
Mark my words, it won’t be long before your boyfriends and brothers and cousins and sons and boy pals follow suit. Every bar is about to become a sea of ebony sateen. All we can do is embrace it.
Photo by Terence Patrick/CBS via Getty Images.