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How to Be One of Those ‘Put-Together’ People
06.12.17

In partnership with The Daily Edited

Like knowing what you want to do with your life and adulthood at large, appearing “put together” is, I think, one of those things where everyone assumes she’s the only one who doesn’t have it figured out. We all know that woman whose wallet matches her bag, neither of which are stuffed with wrappers or receipts, both of which she can always locate — along with her keys — all while taking a call and hailing a cab without sweating or dropping her phone.

I’m starting to believe that what perpetually put-together people have actually mastered is the art of faking it. (Ditto adulthood, ditto a life plan.)

There is nothing wrong with faking a sense of composure. I do it all the time. Pretending to be calm and orderly while panicking on the inside (about being late, about what your hair is doing, how you’ll possibly get all your work done) is what Mallard ducks have been doing for years: cruising around lakes without so much as a ripple while underneath, their feet pedal water like a bike up a massive hill. You’re far more likely to come out the other side unscathed if you fake chill than if you express your inner *insert jumble of numbers and letters produced by head smashed on keyboard.* Whether this may be classified as repression or denial or WHAT, I have found that the fastest way to trick yourself into feeling put-together starts with a clean shirt, brushed teeth and a set of matching, monogrammed accessories.

These ones are by The Daily Edited, an Australian brand we’ve partnered with for this very story (shout out in the comments if you’re from Australia and already know what’s up) that’s known for its wide array of classic, unfussy leather goods that appeal to a multitude of personal styles. I can just see my funkiest-shoe’d friend and my group’s “mom” both asking, “Where’s that pouch from?”

A matching set shows premeditated organization and tricks eyes into seeing you as inherently organized. It looks sharp, so you look sharp. It looks tidy, so you look tidy. It looks chic, so you look chic — all by transitive property. Meanwhile, monograms, already my favorite kind of “flair,” suggest you’re so put together that you took the time to take a wallet, a bag, a key chain somewhere to actually get monogrammed.

No matter if, in reality, you ordered the items pre-grammed. Also no matter if, in reality, you, like me, still have so much to do that “make to-do list” is still incomplete.

No one needs to know. Ducks don’t swim around quacking to the world about their rapidly spinning feet.

I just realized you don’t speak duck, so I promise you, here’s what they say:

“I AM A COOL, CALM, COLLECTED INDIVIDUAL. AND YES. I KNOW WHERE MY HOUSE KEYS ARE.*”

*So what if they’re missing at the bottom of the lake?

Photos by Edith Young. 

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