If you are the proud parent of a toddler or elementary school-age child and occasionally find yourself thinking, “Gee, I wish I could find a cute choker small enough for my kid’s miniature human neck,” today is your lucky day. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West have launched a collection of children’s clothing called The Kids Supply (it’s pretty kool that “kid” starts with a “k,” huh?), and, yes, there are teeny chokers available for purchasing. There are also graphic sweatpants, graphic tees, baseball caps, dainty dresses made of 100% washed silk and a reversible bomber jacket with a map of Calabasas embroidered on the back.
The entire collection is supposed to be Calabasas-themed, ICYMI. Kim and Kanye filed a petition with the state of California to change the spelling of Calabasas to Kalabasas in advance of The Kids Supply’s launch, but approvals are still pending. (That was a joke, but I feel like it would be a salient plot point in the future Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode that will inevitably chronicle the genesis of The Kids Supply, don’t you?).
Whether or not you are a child or have one, I recommend taking a gander at the website because it’s fascinating. Doesn’t the aesthetic strike you as notably JV? Like what a teenager might have submitted as her final project for computer science class in 1999? Or what your mom might create if she stumbled upon Polyvore collage boards for the very first time? Everything from the rumpled graphics to the font that looks like actual html screams “low-fi.” It’s so DOS.
But hold up — don’t Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have the most access? Don’t they have the appropriate strings in place to pull to launch the most spectacular children’s collection and corresponding website to ever tickle the internet’s eyeballs?
Yes. The answer is yes. Ergo, henceforth and thus, we are obliged to conclude that the low-lift look of the branding is 100% intentional. It’s meant to resemble something created by cool youths of the nineties in a garage overnight instead of a project masterminded by two people in a mansion over the course of “a few years.”
I think we’ve finally reached peak “not trying.” After weathering the rise of trends like plaid shirts tied around our waists, tattered jeans, sweatpants, track pants, shower shoes, jackets intentionally sliding off our shoulders, normcore(!), no-makeup makeup and Vetements, this clothing line — which embodies the “not trying” aesthetic which such vigor it almost feels like a prank — is what tapped the final nail into this blasé coffin we built for our wardrobes.
Right? I guess we’ll find out. In the meantime, talk to me in the comments about your feelings re: chokers for children.
Photo by Alo Ceballos via Getty Images