Kim and Kanye’s Children’s Collection is Peak “Not Trying”

Move over, Vetements

05.08.17
NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 29: Kim Kardashian, Kanye West with North West and Saint West are spotted in the Upper East Side on August 29, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)

If you are the proud parent of a toddler or elementary school-age child and occasionally find yourself thinking, “Gee, I wish I could find a cute choker small enough for my kid’s miniature human neck,” today is your lucky day. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West have launched a collection of children’s clothing called The Kids Supply (it’s pretty kool that “kid” starts with a “k,” huh?), and, yes, there are teeny chokers available for purchasing. There are also graphic sweatpants, graphic tees, baseball caps, dainty dresses made of 100% washed silk and a reversible bomber jacket with a map of Calabasas embroidered on the back.

The entire collection is supposed to be Calabasas-themed, ICYMI. Kim and Kanye filed a petition with the state of California to change the spelling of Calabasas to Kalabasas in advance of The Kids Supply’s launch, but approvals are still pending. (That was a joke, but I feel like it would be a salient plot point in the future Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode that will inevitably chronicle the genesis of The Kids Supply, don’t you?).

Whether or not you are a child or have one, I recommend taking a gander at the website because it’s fascinating. Doesn’t the aesthetic strike you as notably JV? Like what a teenager might have submitted as her final project for computer science class in 1999? Or what your mom might create if she stumbled upon Polyvore collage boards for the very first time? Everything from the rumpled graphics to the font that looks like actual html screams “low-fi.” It’s so DOS.

But hold up — don’t Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have the most access? Don’t they have the appropriate strings in place to pull to launch the most spectacular children’s collection and corresponding website to ever tickle the internet’s eyeballs?

Yes. The answer is yes. Ergo, henceforth and thus, we are obliged to conclude that the low-lift look of the branding is 100% intentional. It’s meant to resemble something created by cool youths of the nineties in a garage overnight instead of a project masterminded by two people in a mansion over the course of “a few years.”

I think we’ve finally reached peak “not trying.” After weathering the rise of trends like plaid shirts tied around our waists, tattered jeans, sweatpants, track pants, shower shoes, jackets intentionally sliding off our shoulders, normcore(!), no-makeup makeup and Vetements, this clothing line — which embodies the “not trying” aesthetic which such vigor it almost feels like a prank — is what tapped the final nail into this blasé coffin we built for our wardrobes.

Right? I guess we’ll find out. In the meantime, talk to me in the comments about your feelings re: chokers for children.

Photo by Alo Ceballos via Getty Images 

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  • devilwearsnada

    wait wait wait — did i read correctly that they filed a petition to re-name it KALABASAS? I need an attribution here.

    • Harling Ross

      that was a joke BUT!! IT COULD BE TRUE WHO IS TO SAY

    • Holly Laine Mascaro

      Omg I almost copied and shared that sentence with everyone I know thinking it was a real thing.

      • devilwearsnada

        same, girl. pheww

  • BarbieBush

    I’m not embarrassed to say I have seen some photos of Saint wearing that camo sweatsuit.

  • Haley Burke

    That website is lazy AF!!!

  • Children’s apparel is where trends go to die.

  • Steph

    I’m not into chokers for children or negligees! Did you notice that all pieces are final sale? No returns! I would never buy these for my child. It’s so difficult to figure out sizing-it varies by brand and this is only online?

    • Kay

      Yes why the lingerie?? Why????? Did they discuss this and decide mild sexualizing of kids will generate buzz or be edgy? Has Kim commodified sexuality to the point where she thinks a kid in lingerie is no different than a kid in a barbie car? Whhhhhyyyyyy.

  • katie

    the web layout is not innovative it is exactly what supreme does, almost down to the font

    • Harling Ross

      oh such a good call

    • Kattigans

      Total rip off of Supreme! Glad someone else noticed and pointed it out. Kanye and Vetements continue to rip off skate brands and clothing that’s been around and popularized by youth who are against everything the Kardashians/Mr. West embody these days. It’s so annoying to me. They appropriate clothing and culture from groups who have been ignored and marginalized and have been unabashedly doing their own unique thing for decades. Then these posers come along, copy it and next thing you know every 13 year old and her mom is wearing a Thrasher tee with boxer’s braids. I can’t with these two anymore.

    • Kate Long

      The website shows me a blank page which also seems about right.

  • chouette

    No returns on a $105 baby outfit that looks like Gap Outlet with no information on where it was made or anything? This is like, painfully bad.

    • Harling Ross

      no returns! so weird. also very 1999.

  • mapillski

    You’d think you could find cheaper clothes for children that want to dress like 2007 amateur porn stars

  • HildeMeike

    The return policy is smart. There are too many returnaholics out there. They do not need to be a customer service empire. F$&@ customer service. They’re selling this line of clothing as “art” pieces. Whether you like these looks or not is irrelevant.

  • Macon

    Y’all, I think web brutalism has reached peak trend

  • The Kids Supply. ORG

    With the goal of helping kids who actually need it, we set up http://www.thekidssupply.ORG

    If you are thinking of spending $240 on a kid’s bomber jacket, maybe take a moment to donate to our campaign to help kids in need.

    Check it out and donate 🙂

  • xtyb

    Uh, I thought you weren’t supposed to let little kids wear chokers because they might, you know, choke.

  • Ivette Robles-Ramos

    A law suit waiting to happen choker for children that they like still putting thing in there mouth .and the clothing line us from gap or old navy..ppl get yr fax together con artist in the making . U can go to the corner if Los Angeles and get clothes from “”THE ALLEYS “I went there and if u r looking for the Tshirt and hat sell them for 12 for a 1 dollar at the alleys in Los Angeles. .cray cray..

  • Meg S

    Part of me says I would totally dress a baby me in that black silk dress with the choker. But the practical part of me says why should I put a baby in a choker, or silk? For $125? Really? No thanks.

    The web site is really bad/lazy too. I get they’re going minimalist, but there is such a thing as too minimalist. Also, the massive blocks of text in the ‘terms’ page was unnecessary. I did read it, but only gathered that they aren’t actually responsible for the quality of their product and likely won’t exchange or refund you if it’s damaged, but if they will exchange/refund they’ll make you pay to ship it back and will charge you a restocking fee.

  • pamb

    Even if you were a ‘money is no object’ parent, I would think the no returns policy would give you pause. How do you know what toddler 3/4 means to Kids Supply vs/ Gap vs. Janie and Jack vs. Ralph Lauren?

    I clicked on the Calabasas bomber because I wanted to see the map of Calabasas (like, is it a cool shape or something?) and there was no way to view it. And no verbiage telling me. So I order what I think is a plain black bomber and I get one with a map on the back and I can’t return it? Nope.

    lol ‘made to order’ means ‘we don’t want to have an embarrassing amount of clothes left over when this flops.

  • Jennifer

    They don’t call them culture vultures for no reason!

  • starryhye

    As someone who has an admittedly bad obsession with KKW, even I can attest that “Kids Supply” is terrible. A silk dress? For a child? *I’M* not responsible enough to wear silk, let alone my child, who gets dirty just standing still (just kidding, my kids are never not moving). And if my 8 year old wants a choker necklace, she wants the one she saw at Claire’s, and I’ll buy it for her b/c it’s only $4 instead of $28.

  • Cynthia Schoonover

    This choker is a lawsuit waiting to happen. It’s dangerous for little children to wear necklaces of any sort. These clothes are for people who have more money than brains.

  • ggg

    Just say NO to chokers

  • mockingnerd

    Wow, this is a shockingly dull and boring collection. I’m sure you could find something infinitely more charming literally anywhere else.

  • Rebecca Lippert

    These look like things I could get at Walmart, excluding the silk dress.

  • Rebecca Lippert

    Omg you just have to click on the photo to see more views. No indication… This is one of the worst e-commerce websites I’ve ever seen.

  • More like move over Walmart, not Vetements.