5 Bags With Tassels to Make Your Nipples Jealous

These bags have bangs, btw


When earrings replaced nipple tassels, nipples were stoked. Something new and fun! The tassels, not so much. They needed somewhere to go.

Meanwhile, evening clutches worldwide were starting to feel a little…low. They were bored with their appearance. They wanted something new. Then, an evening clutch broke up with her long-term college boyfriend tote. She did what every other newly single accessory in search of an update does: She went to the hair salon and said, “GIVE ME BANGS.”

The stylist was like, “Have you thought this through? 7 out of 10 people regret bangs the moment they get them because 9 times out of 10, bangs look better on someone else.”

Market Report Tassel Bags Man Repeller_2--3

Attico tassel drawstring satin pouch, Hillier Bartley box tassel bag at MATCHESFASHION.com, The Row mini metallic tassel wristlet

And of course, the bag said yes.

A clutch’s bangs don’t grow back. The change is irrevocable. Quick thinker that she was, the stylist remembered the now-lonely tassels. She called one on the phone and asked if she could set it up with someone special. The tassel said, “Yes, I’ll be there in five,” then ran over to the hair salon.

Well of course, it was love at first sight. The bag saw the tassel and said, “THOSE ARE MY BANGS!” The tassel saw the bag and said, “I’VE FOUND HOME.”

Market Report Tassel Bags Man Repeller_2-8022

Hillier Bartley box tassel bag at MATCHESFASHION.com

The two embraced, no one looked back, the trend carried on and then there you go.

Click through the slideshow above for five evening bags matched with the bangs of their dreams. Let them carry you through parties, weddings and all sorts of fancy evenings.

Photos by Edith Young. Rosantica tinsel tassel earring and Lizzie Fortunato rope tassel belt used throughout.

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  • Lillian

    Now that I know you crowd source headlines on slack, I need to know who won. +1000000

    • Harling Ross

      that would be this weiro typing this comment. #nipples

  • chouette

    That pic with the jar of olives is giving me life on this bleary-ass day. I changed out the tassels on my loafers last year for looooong silky ones from the garment district and have never looked back. Life really is better in classy lounge(-inspired)wear.

  • Harling Ross

    I love these pics Edithhhhhhh

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  • Now that’s a headline I can get behind!