A Spring Guide to What to Buy and When

Assuming you have a raincoat already (snooze) and you’re properly armed with the sunglasses that have been lingering in your shopping carts in anticipation of spring coming, here is a complete guide, devoid of raincoats and sunglasses, to how to get a head start on shopping for spring. Maybe you’ve already been bit by the trend bug. You’re considering neon in its multiple forms, and massive puff sleeves as though they’re not sleeves at all. It’s important to note that obviously you don’t have to buy anything. As a matter of fact, if you choose not to, that’s extremely laudable. It will probably make you feel like a better person if you don’t, according to an extremely unscientific study that the association of assholes over here at Man Repeller conducted last month. If you can’t help but scratch that bug bite, though, here’s a road map as a calendar with suggestions. Have fun!


The very cool thing about the trench coat is that you can essentially wear it as a dress, which I would do if I were buying it.

The even cooler thing is that you can use one of the below belts over the trench. The flowers are for the tanks, or the puffy-ass sleeve top, but belts work there, too. We’re regressing and defining our waists again, apparently.

If you cut the gold socks into, essentially, leg warmers and then wear them pulled over your heels with sandals…

You will look so cool in the zebra-print skirt, which can be worn with any of your tank tops and flower pins or trench coats and belts — and lest I forget, the sunglasses and raincoats you already have!

Same goes for the track pants, but my question is, do you have enough earrings?

Guide designed by Maria Jia Ling Pitt. 

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