Fuck the fucking winter, you know?
It was kind of cold, then it was freezing, then it snowed, then it was sunny, then it got warm and now it’s raining. Raining! The vicissitudes of this season are too difficult to weather (pun devastatingly intended) for an oversensitive woman with apparently shit blood circulation (that’s speculation, but my fingers and toes run cold). If the four seasons were a woman’s cycle, winter would be the part right before her period. Cue fire-breathing dragon emitting rays of ice.
And what do you do in the presence of a woman getting ready to ovulate? First, YOU SEND HER MY WAY AND ASK HER TO RUB HER OVARIES UP AGAINST ME. Then, you tell her to go home and relax. Get comfortable, feel luxurious in that state of uterine line-shedding.
But see, winters not going to do that — it’s just not how nature works. So instead of expecting it to go home, why don’t, uh, we just go home? Go home and lounge.
Or maybe you need your socks. And a pair of glasses in order to see.
…Through the looking glass that indicates a light at the end of the tunnel called winter.
But we’re not there yet (70-something more days!), so for now, let’s surrender ourselves to Ch-Ch-Changes month, kick up our bodysuits and gold chains and remain exactly the same.
Follow our model, Kira, on Instagram @kiraship; Styled by Leandra Medine, photos by Krista Anna Lewis.